I recently had a bad experience with a provider I've seen a total of 5 times.

She has great reviews on TER and she been providing since '05 or '06. Evertime I see her she ignores me more and more. She also tries to milk the date for all it's worth and won't provide like she did on the first date.

Basiclly she's gotten lazy, has an attitude and treats me like I'm taking up her time and that her just showing up is a hassle for her. Needless to say I won't be seeing her again.

In the future what should I do to avoid this happening again?

I had a few get lazy, or "go through the motions" on repeat visits myself. Move on if you're not satisfied, or it's no longer fun. There's no standard answer on this question.

As P.F. said, it's up to you. If seeing the same provider appeals to you more than does trying someone new, then see the same provider. Otherwise, move on. That's certainly what I would do in the situation you described.

ideally should get better more you see them not worse, ya sometimes they might have an off day, but if they are not trying at all, might wanna move on

You see a provider often enough and they will eventually turn you into their husband.

You book a dinner date once and they expect a dinner date all the time. You tip once and they expect one all the time. You give a gift once and they expect one all the time. You take em shopping once and they expect shopping all the time.

In the meantime the provider's performance in bed (what you pay her for) goes downhill. Don't be surprised if she is not prepared for you when you show up and maybe even try to differ sex to the next time you visit.

This type of behavior is in the genes of women. There is nothing you can do to change it. Why do you think men cheat on their wives?

Also an ATF is more likely to get upset if you ask for a reference. If she does agree to give you one chances are it won't be a glowing one.

In your position I would change my hobby phone # and email address and move on.

But when it stops enjoyable for one or both of you, it's time to move on.

I can only respond to you from my own experience. I like to see a lady a min. of 2 times if the 1st time went well. Usually my second time we don't have the 1st time nerves or trying to feel each other out. So for me the 2nd time is usually the best.

I do have an ATF right now but as one of the other posts stated she is starting to get more like a S.O. in that she wants to chat longer and have sex less. I also have to ask for certain things in bed that she use to would do automatically. I have had one experience with her of late where she had a head ache and wanted us to go shopping for her kids a dog and then got upset with me that I was disappointed that we didn't have any sex (and this was after spending 3 hours with her looking for a dog!!).

I have seen one other provider multiple times and she is very professional but now she enjoys long talks before we get down to business. She isn't a clock watcher so for now I let that slide. I can understand why a lot of guys do the one and done though.

Hope this helps!!

Why did you go back? Why waste your money on someone who treats you badly?? it doesn't make sense that you would see her another 3 or 4 more times!!
Jay

We ALL look for ways to make our job easier and more profitable. YOU are the provider's "job", and as such it is instinctual for a provider to cut corners after becoming familiar with her task at hand.

 Just as a wife tires of giving adventurous, impassioned, vigorous sex to her husband, so too does a provider become indolent with a frequent regular.

and it's still enjoyable NSA enjoyment.

I have also stopped seeing a few for various reasons probably related to the syndrome you describe.

There's a world of variety out there.

if you've never seen a provider more than once?

Some providers, like many women actually get better as they become more comfortable with you. OTOH some don't and this one sounds like the OP needed to kick her to the curb a long time ago.

Basically my point is, there is no hard and fast rule about seeing a provider on multiple occassions. Some get better over time, some get worse. You are paying for service, not getting involved in a relationship. Continue as long as you like to, quit the moment you stop enjoying yourself.

This activity is about 2 individuals...  I generally do better on subsequent dates, after we've gotten to know each other.  But going to the same provider every time can become a problem for the reasons already discussed plus the possible emotional attachment on our part.  And yes, if you tip once, it becomes expected.

In my case I like to repat with a few Fav ladies whom I'm compatable & who are responsive to my needs.

In your case, you need to move on or at least see others for a while.
skb

If you've never seen a provider more than ONCE as you state how would you know this.

I have clients who have been seeing me going on TWO years. Some see me every single week. Some every month. Some are not as affluent and can only manage every few months but the premise is the same. I give them exactly what they want.

I have a client who books dinner dates with me, not at my suggestion but that is what HE likes. Recently I was touring in his city and he saw me for an hr date. It wasn't long enough for him so he booked me for a dinner date the following week.

The more I get to know a guy the BETTER we get in bed. I have clients who say every time that "this" time was better than the last. You learn what a guy likes, what he doesn't like and improve upon that.

Your statments are bullshit. Pure bullshit. I frequently SET my clients up with other providers. I want them to have the best time possible no matter where they are. If I know one of my loyal guys is going to Vegas I will personally contact ladies I know in Vegas who are GREAT provider's and ensure that they get a date.

Not all provider's are "lazy" and turn into "wives". That is pure bullshit!

My guys are great with me. Sometimes I run late (I have another job) but they know I will ALWAYS make it up to them.

I have never expected gifts, shopping, dinner etc at any time. I appreciate my clients for what they are. Men who need a good fucking-dickstraction and know I can and will give it to them and then maintain my professional distance.

I DO check up on my clients from time to time if I haven't heard from them because I CARE about them. I really do. I want to know they are okay and I want them to know that I DO care about them.

Case in point. I have a client who has been seeing me for about 2 years. I am the only provider he has seen more than once. Recently he has been going through some extremely tough legal and financial difficulties. I call him periodically to chat and see how he is doing. He has a second business where he sells a product. I OFFERED to exchange this product for my time because I KNOW he can't afford to see me but he CAN afford to exchange goods.

Why would I do this? Oh that's right because I'm lazy and becoming a wife. No, because a good provider who cares about people tries to make sure that the loyal guys who have consistently taken care of her are taken care of. It's good business practice.


To the gentleman who originally posted....I think you should move on. No provider should treat you like that. You should be made to feel like a king when you go see a lady and have your socks knocked off every single time. There is NO excuse for being lazy like that on her part. Move on and good riddance to her IMO.



~Rae Monroe

...Depending upon your chemistry.

If someone is very clearly taking advantage of you its time to bounce and meet someone new.

There is nothing that you can avoid it happening again...save for meeting someone for a few times and moving on.

I intensely perform for a few of my regular guests; I'm pleasant, but only slightly above average with many.  
We can't help it.  We get bored too.

Return only if it is different every single time OR as intense as the first time you met.

My first thing is why couldn't either of you be in my area (sigh~~).

To defend the guy a little I have a similar thing going on now myself. You see when the lady knocks our sox off (and believe me, there are a lot more that don't than do) we being of the male gender think this performace will come the next time. In some cases it does, but when it doesn't we being optimist that she had an off day will do it the next time. Plus there is the factor of her being familar and safe.

I have a ATF right now that is about 2 strikes away from being off my list for her taking my needs for granted...heck I got a wife who has that job!!!

As written...it is the chemistry.

I have been seeing only 1 provider over the past 3 years. That is my choice.
We get along very well and really connect.
I am under no illuisons with my relationship with her.
We also make sure to commuincate on things. That is probably why our relationship has continued this long.
I am also friends with a provider that I have known for over 20 years. I don't see her now but we are still friends. Again, her and I always commicated well.
OR..made the attempt to.

And when i did see other providers, if it didn't work, I did not see her again.

Don't waste your time.

ONE more thing to do...have an intention. What do you want from each time you see someone. be clear and definite with you self what you want. It's all up to you.
Otherwise, you are just being...well on automatic or unconscious.

Be well...one and all.

before now, but I am positive that this particular lady is the exception, NOT the rule. You've had a bad expeience. (or two or three) Learn from it, but don't let it start to shadow your thinking about other ladies. Any lady that I've seen more than once, has given me more on the second date, and the third. I still see the first lady that I ever saw, and we have a terrific time, every time. Sometimes we have dinner, sometimes it's just a snack in my hotel room. Sometimes I bring her a gift, sometimes she brings me one.

Go back and read what Rae wrote. She's 100% right about the other response being bullshit. I think you'll find that most of the ladies here will share her opinion. Now go out and find another lady and have some fun.

I have had the same experience with a couple of ladies. It got repetitive, mechanical, and the intensity decreased over time (in this case, no more than 3 dates - I know when to move on...)

BUT

I am fortunate to have a couple of favs who light me up every time I see them. And the big reason this happens is that we share good "chemistry". We are into each other. Every time is different, and sexual intensity varies. But each time is better in one or more ways than the last. I'll keep seeing these ladies as long as I can.....

as soon as your not why call back...

I have many friends I have been seeing for years..We are old friends so our time together is very intimate and personal...If this is what your looking for then seeing the same lady many times is what you want.

If your a gentlemen who is only for a wild ride and then on to another that is your choice..

For some sex is the best the first time around while others it gets better with age..

Sometimes the gentleman himself gets comfortable just like the lady and my how time can fly just talking..

Kisses Haley

she took you dog shopping for three hours, and then got upset because there was no sex. Was this on the clock? If so, you've waited too long. It's time to call another lady.

Are you kidding...no way was it on the clock. I would've dumped her on the spot if she had asked for a donation after that 3 hour trist...ha...ha

She didn't tell me about the headache until i was almost there (a one hour drive) as she had taken some headache medicine earlier. She was hopping it would be gone by the time I arrived. It hadn't so she asked would I just spend time with her off the clock. She is sweet and fun to be around so that is when I agreed. Of course I had no idea it was going to be 3 hours worth though...lol

ladies around here that are just plain fun to spend time with. Given the same situation, I'd have probably agreed also. Some of the most fun I've had, has been the before and after time, when you really can get to know one another.

Thats so sweet..thank you!
Jay

with the service, it is time to move on.  Seems like you have been taken for granted.

My evening tonight was fantastic...the lady in question, well known and reviewed, has been a friend for years.  Yes, the sex was great, but the connection and friendship are far more important.  I've had similar luck with a number of other ladies as well, and to date have not encountered the problem you are having.  

After five sessions and session quality going downhill, I would say it is time for you to move on, and find ladies that enjoy your company, and appreciate your business.  As for avoiding this in the future,  don't know.  Just pick the ladies you see wisely, and if you find any that are keepers...you know what to do.

Wow...I'll be suprised you get an appointment with ANY provider after reading this..lol

Pretty shallow of you to say any time you book a dinner date, leave a tip, bring a gift, etc that we will expect that every time.  That is SO NOT TRUE!

Speaking of the providers "performance in bed goes down hill"....if there is a chemistry connection between a provider and a hobbyist, then the sex gets better and better.  The more you get to know someone, the better the sex!  You get to know their boundries, little things they like they dont get everyday, things they dont like you just dont do, the sexual activity last a lot longer, etc etc.

If the ATF gets upset when asking for a reference, then that provider doesnt need to be in this business.  The hobbyist are not ours to keep and if she gets upset, those are the ones you need to stay away from.

Men cheat on their wives because men marry women who dont do certain sexual activites and apparently by marrying them you assume they will over time, of course they dont, so you go looking for those women who DO....if they dont do something before you put the ring on their finger..what the hell makes you think they WILL after the ring goes on??

And finally...this "type of behavior" of what you speak is in the genes of the MAN.  No doubt!

I couldn't disagree more with Happy Traveler.  Yes, there are some providers who I saw once and decided I would not repeat.  Some times it just didn't go well.  Other times it did but it wasn't an experience that I felt I should repeat.

My best times have been with providers who have gotten to know more about me, what I like, and vice versa.  I feel very comfortable sharing some of their life and both the conversation and the sex have been great.  I believe there are certain providers who when they really feel comfortable with you will go out of their way to make sure you had a great time.  They will try to save you time in their schedule and if they are visitors will definitely let you know when they will be back.

Sure the one night stand can be great, but I prefer a woman like my current ATF who makes me feel special every time we are together.