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Newbie - FAQ

Best Wishes, EOM
shudaknownbetter 871 reads
posted


END OF MESSAGE

tgf20102334 reads

I visited this world for the first time in the last couple of weeks or so. While I tried to prepare myself via the faq for newbies and by visiting the boards and reading through posts and all that, I was woefully unprepared mentally to accept that THIS IS A BUSINESS!  I found that there are companions out there who are so good at their job that unless you understand that first and foremost and it is ingrained in you and you have a supreme ability to compartmentalize your mind, feelings, and relationships, you should never ever even dabble in this business as a "hobbiest."  Not even ONCE!

My advice to any newbies out there is to study, study, study the FAQ's, the boards, and to take to heart all that everyone says on here about what this is all about.  If you have ANY doubts at all about what you are doing, then simply don't do it.  It won't be good for you and it won't be good for the providers out there.  It wil just upset everyone.  Don't make the same mistakes I did.  Oh, and use the PM feature to talk to other clients who have been in this world and who have posted often or reveiewed often.  They can be a valuable resource.  I did not use that resource enough.  TER provides a great service if you use it to its full extent.

For all those, particularly companions/providers,  I have bothered, offended, intruded upon, pissed off, PM'd too much, and simply broke business rules on, whether I knew them or not, I am truly sorry.  I meant no harm.  I hope you can forgive me. I have nothing to gain personally by saying this, it is my true feelings.

With this post, I leave this world to those who can properly live within it.  I have found that I simply cannot.  I hope I can get back into my own now!  :-)

Goodbye all.  Good luck.  Be Safe. And use this board and TER to its fullest extent.

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quartertone1132 reads

What else did you expect it to be?

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OSP1198 reads

that this 'activity' isn't for everyone.

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tgf2010972 reads

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quit*ya*whinin!!!1126 reads

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT THE DATING GAME!
WHAT THIS IS...IS P4P SIMPLE AS THAT END OF STORY.

a lonelyhearts club? LOL thats a new one. you are livin in your own word pal.
If she made it feel real Great but don't trap yourself by believing that laast after she walks out the door. It simply doesn't. she moves past ou and bac into her own life which by the way, you are not a part of.

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MarkusKetterman1656 reads

I'm glad you figured this out for yourself early in the game.

And I appreciate the thoughts you shared here.

Good Luck -

GTM

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tgf20101573 reads

Unfortunately, I didn't follow all the advice.  I forgot it was a business....and a head game more than anything else.  I communicated with the providers too often via e-mail and PM after the fact, thought you could make a friend out of one, big mistake.  Then tried to apologize, just made it worse.  it became a totally fucked up mess.

I wish I could take credit for figuring it out by myself, but the providers themselves had a lot to do with it.  At least one of them was nice enough to tell me that ths is not where I am going to find what she figured I was looking for.  The other one was a little more "straight forward" in her suggestions....

You'd think I was a little kid with all this wouldn't you?  Well, I'm into my 5th decade, but I sure FEEL like a little kid....

Take care, man, and Be Safe.  You guys that can actually live in this world are much better men than I am.  Good bye.

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WebTerrorist1110 reads

...but if you do decide to try and play in this world again I have a simple way to keep things in perspective.

Read the reviews of other clients that have seen the ladies you want to be "friends" with; see that they treat those other clients as well as they treat you.

This is their job, think about it, how would like a client to go into your place of work hire you for the job you do and then expect to be your "friend" and maybe even have you do your job for them for free since you are 'friends" and all...

As for this being a "head game" not really you pay for a service and pick the person you think delivers that service best, that is just the ladies doing their job and doing it well.
Would you say a Doctor plays a head game with you because he treats your malady, but won't then talk to you for free about every problem you have or let you come over so he can make you chicken soup and put a cool cloth on your forehead when you get the flu?

The ladies do exactly what they are paid to do, and the only one playing a head game with you was yourself..because you knew the deal but didn't want it to be so, or wanted it to be different for you.

You are correct in saying this isn't for you, if you can repeatedly read how it is a business and still tell yourself it is more, or not a business.
If you came here thinking you would find love, or a "friend" that happens to be your "type" and fucks you into a blissful stupor all because they really like you, and have nothing better to do than answer your emails, PM, texts or whatever, then you are most certainly in the wrong place.

If you are serious about leaving, delete your account, and forget this place ever existed, by hanging around, announcing your departure and answering replies, you aren't leaving, you are staying...maybe in the hopes that someone will tell you you are fit for this or that didn't fuck up, but honestly, you are not fit for this and you did fuck up.

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quit*ya*whinin!!!879 reads

about the head trip he is playing on this Lady and all her friends he has contacted and fucked withover this.

Now he is not her only client, imagine if they all did this. Endless emails pms text phone call. days and a week worth of head games from many clients. PPL like this ruin it for the normal average client who IS here for P4P. This gal would be swamped with these head cases if everyone behaved that way. She'd be at risk for going postal on someone for sure.

yes he did mind fuck himself and yes he is not cut out for this. He needs to be gone don't look back and delete her number. Just leave the girl alone. I feel bad for her, having to deal with this  and Not you for putting her through it.

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tgf2010959 reads

You seem to know a lot, so I am assuming that you are one of those affected.  Don't worry, I am really going and I have already done the things that you have recommended.  You all can go back to your "normal" lives now.  Give me some credit; I have more guts to simply leave than you might think.  Sorry for offending you...whether you believe that or not is inconsequential by the way, it is what it is.

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quit*ya*whinin!!!800 reads

You went out of your way to try and muck things up and damn near stalk her. You are a loose cannon you are out of control and NK as you put it did not mislead you. She has a website ads pricing and its quite clear its her business. You are a stalker.  
This is what gets you blacklisted this out of control behavior you involved several of her professional friends. You have harrassed more than just this one Lady. Don't have to be involved to know this. Bad news travels fast around here. Back channeling is lightning fast and your behavior is borderline dangerous for any woman in this business. you are not just a pain in the ass you are unbalanced.
This is definately a playground that is NOT a safe bet for you, I don't believe it ever will be.
This women you saw is well reviewed has been here a long time her reputation is pretty solid so put the blame for your behavior back where it belongs in your own lap. Yes I know all about this but since you yourself involved a boatload of ppl in this issue of yours its not exactly a well kept secret.  No one deserves harrassment like this...isn't it time for you to be gone already!

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little phil1872 reads

This thread was moved by me to the Newbie board so that he'd get beaten a bit less.  Please keep your location in mind when making your point.

BTW, he has posted a revised version on the GD board, where he's fair game.  :)

Please give me 5 minutes to get the popcorn going before you attack him there.  Thanks...

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manypoppins883 reads

a supreme ability to compartmentalize. I've met some sweet, beautiful, and intelligent ladies. I enjoy spending time with them and talking to them, but feelings? No. Not their fault. It doesn't matter how charming or seductive they are, I'm just not wired that way even though I am a very emotional person in general. It definitely helps me keep this hobby in perspective.

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WaterBoys733 reads

Now that is complicated!

If you are single, then this hobby is pretty easy.  You can learn as you go without so much analysis.  Just like Nike ... just do it!

If you are married, well then I can see your dilemma & a lot of upfront analysis and self inspection may be needed.

The one thing you should find in this hobby community is acceptance of whatever work for YOU!  Don't fret over ending this hobby, there are lots of other hobbies!!

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Tricky!827 reads

A cry for attention or help.

I doubt you're actually going anywhere and its obvious by even having written this that you haven't learned anything at all.  You are after all returning to respond to the thoughts of respondents.  

Understand that many clients are like yourself are attracted to the drama of this business.  An endless cycle of
"erring", apologizing, hyper PMing and posting cryptic messages which you hope will be found by the provider herself.

I've had many clients like you before and the fact is all of the psychoanalyzing and drama that comes with the bookings isn't worth the money.  It would take a full time salary to justify all of the head games and mind fucking that comes with these appointments.

If you can muster the courage to truly exit the business, do so.  Otherwise you will find yourself in the same position over and over and over again.

Good luck.

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tgf2010878 reads

I certainly opened myself up for all of this, but that was the point.  It is kind of a self flagellation exercise.  I gave myself until the end of the day.  Then, I will be gone.  Lumping me in again with a certain "type" of individual when you don't really know SHIT about who I am, not that you could care less.  

I'm just glad to see there are some who at least TRY to understand,and others who just wish to keep punishing, like you, NK.  That is OK, I fucked up, not you.  You can think of me whatever you would like.  Goodbye"  Oh, and this is not a "goodbye cruel world Post", I'm not going anywhere at all in the world, my world that is.  I'm just leaving yours far behind.

Hopefully, I can get my family back.  This was a stupid mistake, but we are all human, all make mistakes right?!?!  Or do you only apply that to certain people???!!!

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Tricky!933 reads

First of all, I'm not "NK" which you should know by now (nice try at making your PERSONAL DRAMA public though; you're not adult enough to put your own behavior and personal interaction into perspective without attempting to draw attention to her personally.  If you had an idiom of respect for her or her business you would NOT be addressing her by her initials!).

I've been in this business a while and guess what?

I could pull up threads of at least 5 posters / "hobbyists" like you and if I really had to dig deep I could go in my inbox and find at least 10 with the same issues.

Different person, same game.  Self-absorbed, mind-fuck drama is all it is.  You didn't get the attention that you wanted (or apparently need) and now you've taken the boards by storm with your pity-party.

Guest what Newbies who are tuning in?  This isn't representative of the business!  Only 1% of clients expect that they can send dozens of emails or PMs and insinuate themselves into the real lives of providers!  The other 99% just want to have a great time with women that they find attractive and pleasurable to be around!

Get your family back- and get a shrink while you're at it!

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shudaknownbetter872 reads

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muffyluver0827 reads

did the TER mods allow this drivel to be posted on??????????????????????????????????
Give me a break!

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Sinful11150 reads

I am not about to question your motives for posting this story on multiple boards, although I do have my own suspicions...

However, you have spent a great deal of time checking back on the various boards for responses.

If you wanted to quit smoking, the doctor would tell you to throw away your cigarettes and not buy more.

If you wanted to quit drinking, you would be instructed to get rid of all the alcohol in the house and not buy more or visit bars or other places where they serve alcohol.

If you are sincere about wanting to say goodbye to the hobby, and were not just interested in getting attention, you would not sign onto TER, not look at responses to your posts (as any responses you get are inconsequential if you are really leaving the hobby), you would not send or respond to PMs about this situattion or the lady in question and you would give yourself a break and not even sign on the internet!  

The healthy thing for you to do, both for the lady in question, and yourself is to go Cold Turkey and stop what you are doing.

Go to a movie, go out for dinner, spend time with friends.  Do anything that will take your mind off your obsession.  And if that doesn't work, seek professional help!! Stalking is felony and you do not want to cross that line.

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quit*ya*whinin!!!753 reads

lol
too funny you ain't gone yet? what's keepin ya go on...skiddadle now. This place is no place for the likes of you here. Move along lil doggie.

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BonelessIcecream806 reads

At the very least, hopefully tgf's post will reach some people reading the newbie FAQ (as we newbs should) and remind them of some very important principles in the business.

I can see how certain folks would very easily get caught up by this.  It doesn't excuse any linked behavior of course (you DO control your own body and mind, correct?), but nonetheless hopefully this heads off problems for someone, somewhere down the road.

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