Newbie - FAQ
Are you sure she wants all of that info?
Sure this is all needed? This sounds like 3 different screening options put together. Even when a form shows all this I give my D-C and P411 info and that works. Can't think the last time it wasn't enough. For ex. I haven't given my real name on 1st contact in 15 yrs or more.
If she does want all this I'll pass.
Screening requirements from a provider's web-site.....
Do the rest of you really provide all this information?
1. Real Full name including a middle name or initial
2. Age
3. Ethnicity
4. Height
5. Weight
6. Circumcised?
7. TER name, date-check, or preferred 411 name
8. 2-3 provider references (prefer established independants, not agencies) with their email address. Also would reccommend you sending their website link so that I can be sure they are legit.
9. Employer, website, & phone #
10. Photo (optional)
11. Dates/times you would like to schedule & length of appt.
You have to realize that a provider has an absolute right to require any information they please. They are putting themselves into a vulnerable position. They decide what information they need to feel comfortable with that.
And what other info they want to screen out potentially undesirable ( to them ) clients.
Many ask for race, descriptors to see if you are height-weight proportional.
Never run into the question about circumcision but I'd rather know she's a forskin biggot before I get declined for BBBJ anyway.
But the hell of it is, she's not getting anything from me but my TER username which links to my reviews and white listings, my first name and throw away phone number, my date-check and preferred411 info and MAYBE a couple of references if I think she's worth the effort.
While I recognize her right to ask, I also recognize that there are plenty of top notch providers who will gladly see me on the basis of information *I* am comfortable "providing" Lol...
But you are correct.
If wanting enough information to do my family tree is what she wants, then that's her prerogative.
She will have to get it from someone else. I will not fill out a provider form under any circumstances.
Unfortunately the newbies do not have the alternatives that we do, but I just can help but to steer them away when ever possible.
She has every right to ask and insist you answer.
You have every right to decline to answer.
But on both sides of the table, there's the chance the deal won't close.
and avoid all of the consternation?
Just send em an email with what you are comfortable giving for screening along with days / times and etc and a short introduction about yourself. If it's good enough, fine and dandy. And if not, move on.
Lotsa pretty fish in the sea, and no hard feelings either.
I never get fixated on any one provider, and I would never ever think to debate a provider's screening or other policies - it's her life, her risks.
Actually on one site there is a profile that asks the gents a bunch of questions and "are you circumcised?" is on there so if a lady is not partial to uncircumcised pee pee's she can respectfully decline and he will be none the wiser.
Hell women get knocked back for a thousand reasons...uncircumcised pee pee can be a deal breaker for the ladies.
Best best is probably to e-mail her and see what she fully requires. She might not really need all that information. I have been though some weird screenings before but they have to protect themselves too. Its not just about us clients.
wow that's hardcore screening. I wonder what the ones that get through look like.
Contact her, if you have history, references and/or whitelists.
There is a local DC provider with a similar screening page, but for "seasoned hobbyists" she has an abbreviated screening form that is under a hidden url.
Yep... probably very serious. But while I have strict screening requirements (tho hers make mine look like Disney Land), if someone is upfront with me about one or two of my requirements that they are uncomfortable with then I try to find alternative ways to screen them.
I would provide her with whatever you're comfortable giving (as long as it's at least half of it) and tell her why you're uncomfortable with the rest. The worst she can say is no.
Sure this is all needed? This sounds like 3 different screening options put together. Even when a form shows all this I give my D-C and P411 info and that works. Can't think the last time it wasn't enough. For ex. I haven't given my real name on 1st contact in 15 yrs or more.
If she does want all this I'll pass.
As other posts have mentioned, only supply her with what you feel comfortable with. Way to many other providers who ask for less.
Why would you advocate providing her some of your personal info if you think it may not be enough to satisfy her?
Playing devils advocate, it would seem that you would either relent and provide what's asked for, move on, or ask her if she's willing to take something less BEFORE divulging info. Just a thought.
Why educate those who may be on this board that we don't want to know details about our biz and how we conduct it to make their job easier for them? If you know what I'm sayin.......
And I cannot for the life of me understand why any of you think that we're going to walk into a room with a complete stranger, close and lock the door without making some kind of an attempt to keep ourselves, our families, and our lifelong acquired possessions as safe as possible??????????????
No one has said that you are not entitled to keep yourself safe and you can ask whatever you want.
At the same time screening information can be abused by providers and some of them store the information and have used the information for nefarious reasons.
I believe that newbies will establish on their own what they are comfortable giving regardless of what you and I and the others think.
I agree I would not send info I consider sensitive in a partially filled out screening form, but I don't consider it all equally sensitive.
I am willing to send my DC & P411 info only, and that has almost always been sufficient.
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