Not to get too sentimental, but there's a reason they call it "getting intimate." You leave yourself open to having your feelings hurt, if temporarily, even though you know the hobby is physically real but essentially make-believe. I'm still figuring out whether the hobby is for me, and I'm wondering whether my experience is normal. I feel down after a session. Not depressed, but a little blue. I enjoy myself in the moment, believe me. Sometimes I'm detached, because of the make-believe aspect. I can have a sort of out-of-body experience. Pay for play has a cold inner core. Still, I like it. Only afterwards do bad feelings descend upon me. That lasts for a while, then I'm back to obsessively anticipating my next appointment.

Maybe if I had a regular girl we could build up fake intimacy, or real-fake intimacy. You know what I mean. But I'm not sure I want that, either. Mostly I want sex. Could it be that I feel blue post-coital because I'd much rather go to sleep than get dressed, make small talk, drive home, and decontaminate myself?

It's not guilt. I could care less about the law, other than pragmatically. I don't have any scruples about casual sex, so long as it's all out in the open and we both know what we're doing. I don't have qualms about paying for sex, or reducing the most intimate of acts between two people to a business transaction. Big deal. I'm not looking for anything more than a cold, calculated businesses transaction, either. I'd run away if true intimacy popped up in a session.

Yet I feel blue afterwards. Is this normal? I'd say maybe sex just makes me blue, but I haven't experienced that in civilian life. Not really.

because I really should not have been spending the money I did, but now that's faded out, even though i still over spend.

I wonder if you may be having a reaction to the endorphines wearing off after sex.  Try eating some dark chocolate right after a session and see if that prevents the blues

I've wondered that myself: if it could be a sort of sugar crash. I don't generally experience that sort of thing in the civilian world, as I said. Then again, with everyday sex it's usually not crammed into such a short period of time, there isn't the added intensifier of illicitness, and it's usually not with a stranger.

I'd say this is not uncommon. Until recently, I probably won't understand what you mean. But, I've recently seen a provider that make me the same way that you described. Still new to the hobby, but up until the most recent lady, I was lucky enough to meet dozen or so ladies in the ladies. Most of them, if not all, are quite physically attractive and many of them provide what we called GFE service. And most of the times, after the session, I left satisfied and didn't feel that I'm in any way emotional attracted to them. Of course, I'd love to see them again, but only because the great service that they provided.

But the most recent provider I saw, somehow changed that. After the session, I still felt extremely satisfied, but there was an emptiness. I missed her the very moment I stepped out of the door. Yes, she was by far the most attractive lady I've ever gotten intimate with. But when I "missed" her, I wasn't like wanting to have more sex - it was something different, something I refuse to admit. In other words, she actually provided a true GFE. But like everything, time washes everything out. Maybe I felt that way because I met her when I was experiencing a relatively low point in my life.

Like I said, I don't it is uncommon. I remember reading someone's comment on here that said something like - we pick certain providers because we are physically attracted to them before we even meet. Physically, they are our ideal type, they are what we want. And to say we can just shut down our feeling toward a person that we are physically attracted to is very hard. So, don't feel bad that you feel blue afterward, we are all human, especially after the small head takes a backseat.

I had a wonderful 2 hr session with my ATF this morning. I told her I wanted her to help me become a better lover. We talked about a website I discovered (omgyes.com) where ladies talk about, and demonstrate, how they like to be stimulated. This was the most intimate conversation I ever had with a woman. And I pleasured her, with her guidance and feedback. And then she pleasured me like she never had before, with my guidance and feedback. And then we fucked. Amazing session. Granted,
we couldn't have done this on our first date. This morning was the 6th or 7th date. I can think about the money I've spent in the hobby the past four years, enough to buy that boat I'd like, or choose joy. I'm so very thankful to have met women with whom I can have the most primal and intimate experiences with. For me, it has to be more meaningful than just bj's and all the other acronyms. You can take this as deeply as you like and find joy or meaning there and the money spent becomes irrelevant for what you get in return. Not all women are willing or able to go there.  
Your words:  
"I'm not looking for anything more than a cold, calculated businesses transaction, either. I'd run away if true intimacy popped up in a session."
If all you want is a cold, calculated business transaction...you got it! Success! I suggest that you don't "look" for anything. But don't run away from intimacy either. I don't have it at home. I crave it. Some women want that as well. Do you have an ATF? Have you gone deep with her? Cultivate and nurture an ATF relationship. See her at least 4-5 times and ask her to help you take the relationship to a different level. I don't see mine more than every other month or so. And then see how you feel afterwards. I'm still smiling like an idiot when I think of this morning....though I still have the blue haze from vitamin V. Sorry for the rant. Good luck!

Have you repeated with a provider you really like, so that it's more than just a "one night stand"?

I knew getting into this that I'd need to be comfortable with someone for it to be good. There had to be barriers to emotional involvement, though. For a couple of years I had that, and it was great.

Would getting to be more familiar make it a better experience for you? Have you given it any thought?

more enjoyable.  I tend to feel like my encounter is more enjoyable and successful if I walk away feeling as if I have made a new friend.  Connecting with people on all levels provides a positive emotional response and it is what we generally seek all the time in life.  This "hobby" is no different except that we are looking for a naked connection as well.  We crave the feeling of desiring another and having that desire fulfilled, but we also crave being desired.  I know that I work like mad during my sessions in the hope that I can give my provider something of me that they will enjoy, whether it be that I work to satisfy them in bed, impart some knowledge, or even a massage that everyone tends to like.  I want them to feel good that they spent time with me too, and when I sense that I am just a paycheck, I feel awful.  I hope that when I walk away, they sometimes think about something I said or that my encounter with them had meaning in their lives too.  The blues you speak of probably comes from the same desires and the realization that a true lasting connection is almost impossible, and that without reinforcement of having made a lasting impression in their lives (and it unfortunately is unlikely) one feels empty.  Glad you raised this topic.

I wish I could "like" your post 1000 times!!!

Steph xoxo

You say you don't care about the law, or about the selling of sex.  But I can't help but wonder if there is some part of you that wonders if you've done something wrong.  That wonders if you've caused harm to another human being because of your sexual desires?

Given all the propaganda about the business in the media, such feelings are understandable.  The stories are 99.9% BS...but I admit that I've struggled with such questions, and had to come up with justifications.

But assuming you really don't object about the legality or morality of the hobby...I'd suggest thinking more about a sugar baby relationship.  Whether this is a provider you see regularly and build a relationship with, or a more typical sugar-x situation, it might be right for you.

My other thought is, if you haven't already, try outcall.  Whether to your home or a hotel room, there is definitely a different vibe for an outcall vs incall.

Finally regarding intimacy, I find my sessions with a provider, especially ones I've seen a few times, to be some of the most honest and intimate hours of my life.  That isn't to say either of us are about to fall in love