Ok, I've been doing alot of research on becoming a middle aged "hobbyist".  The more I review these Discussion Boards the more I feel like the risk isn't worth it.  I understand the providers need to feel safe, but I want to feel safe that this all doesn't come back to me in a bad way..........like tell my significant other, family, work, etc.

Any thoughts or advise??

The best way to minimize the risk is to join a verification service. Personally I like P411. Then get VIP here. With these two tools and common sense the risk is greatly reduced. But only you know what you have to lose and if the pleasure is worth it.

Solo mis dos centavos

Adult websites are target for promoting illegal business.Clients and all level escorts at risks on websites...tattetale tell someone's siginficant other,family ,work needs to be put on beware list.

They have an incentive to keep confidential your personal information but can then vouch for you until you have better references.

That said, if you think is is going to ruin your life and you cannot deal with that then stay away.

I guess my thoughts are how does a newby find a provider who won't ask for a lot of personal information?  How did all you experienced hobbyist deal with this?

Then NEVER NEVER NEVER give out your real name or identity to any escort or agency.  Being completely anonymous is the only way to protect yourself.  Then only see ladies with at least several reviews; you can find some who will accept your P411 ID without having to see your drivers license or something.  

As the other poster noted, though, only you can decide if it's worth the risk.  You might still catch an STD, even with "safe sex" practices.  Is it worth risking your family and SO for this?  

Good luck, stay safe.  Think with the big head.

-- Modified on 10/27/2016 7:09:38 AM

You feel that you need anonymity in order to feel safe.  That is understandable, however, there are really only two sure ways of getting to pay for sex with that anonymity:  street walkers and massage parlors.  Unfortunately, those are two of the riskiest venues owing to the fact that LE often busts these venues, so rather than your anonymity providing security, it is, in fact, compromising same.

On the other hand, a careful, well reviewed provider who insists on your real name, work, etc.  (Needed for her own sense of security.) is the least likely to end up with any contretemps with LE or of compromising your security (As long as you behave and play by the rules.)

So, in order to increase your security, you have to do things that feel like compromising your security.

There are also a few gals who for whatever reason, request little if any personal information.  Sometimes, those gals will be LE, however.  LE doesn't need to screen people, after all.

So, take your choice.  

As others are implying, this may not be the right hobby for you, and there's no shame in that.

The idea is to have fun, not to be dying inside of fear

Advise on what? Giving a provider your information? Because if that's your concern then it shouldn't be. Being a (good) provider is not easy work...(i.e. screening others, putting outfits together, answering phones and email, etc). Doubt she has time to look over your paperwork "off clock" and/or stalk you

I will say that if i knew then what i know now, i would have NEVER gotten into the hobby, it all but destroyed my wife when she found out, it was not worth the pain i caused her.....but at the same time i cant regret what it also did for us, we are now in the hobby together, and even though what we do together is awesome, i wish it didn't take me cheating on my wife to get there........so you have to decide what matters to you, a few nights of fun, or your SO and your family.........as far as the other risk, if you do your homework there really isn't much risk.  good luck.

A provider who runs her business like a business has a SERIOUS interest in maintaining a solid business and attracting good clients, not just any jackhole who happens to be a member of TER or any other site. Your membership here does not give you a free pass on being a decent human being JUST LIKE a pretty face and a great body doesn't give a provider a free pass on having the priorities or common sense of anything more responsible than an out of control drug addict feeding a habit.

So with that said, your best ally will always be your own common sense. If you find someone who seems too young to be doing this? It should be a red flag.  

If you talk to someone who is all about getting you wound up and ready to go but not interested in taking some time to establish that you aren't a potential threat to her own physical safety and well being? It should be a red flag.  

If you talk to someone who sounds bored, unsure, confused, really disorganized, or seems to be checking in with someone else around her while talking to you? It should be a red flag.

If you talk to someone specifically because their ad looks kinda sleazy, they seem like the cheapest available or they are willing to negotiate rates down to half hours, quick visits or car dates? It should be a red flag. (BTW, don't ask for these things because if you DO and she is not that level of provider, you will not get a second chance with her.)

These are hardly the be-all end-all of things to be wary of but all of them involve using your common sense when making a decision about who to go see. There are folks who do this because this is a survival/abuse issue for them or, worse, they are feeding a drug habit (and you can't fire yourself from self-employment) and there are many other folks who do this because this works for them and they actually enjoy running a non-traditional business (and just happen to like men too!). It isn't hard to figure out which is which because the ones who aren't in desperate straits doing this are also the ones who are in no rush to let just anyone get near them just because they are waving around gifts and promises.

 
Providers have more to worry about from bad clients than clients have to worry about from bad providers. A bad provider you can typically spot long before you finally arrive at the door. All the red flags are there from ad to website (if applicable) to conversation to choice of locations, etc. A bad client typically doesn't have any obvious red flags and it is bad clients that put us in morgues, emergency rooms or in clinics getting meds for something that can't be cured and we didn't know they were walking around with.

You are worried about your privacy and being embarrassed as the worst case scenario.

We are worried about getting murdered as our worst case scenario.

Good providers have a vested interest in working with good clients and that process is not something we take lightly or trust to just having a membership on these sites as proof of character

Even the most highly rated and reviewed providers sometimes go BSC without notice.

A VERY well reviewed provider outed a hobbyist right here on TER a while back and his real name and number were left for all to see for hours before Admin finally took it down.

My point is, do NOT give out any information to ANYONE on the internet that you don't feel comfortable giving and that includes TER hookers.

My advice is the same as many have already given which is to join a verification service, not all providers will accept a P411 membership in lieu of other screening, but the overwhelming majority will. In the four years or so I have been a P 411 member I have only been asked for additional screening information two or three times and that is out of hundreds of women I have scheduled with through their service.