The quick question is:  Am I blacklisted?  Am I doing something wrong?

Here's the story:

My wife and I are looking for a provider to make an outcall to our house.  I'm keeping the provider names anonymous....for now.

A month or so ago I contact provider A.
-We make tentative plans.  I tell provider A that we may have to cancel about 4-5 days before.  2 days before the outcall, I cancel.
-A week or so later, A was supposed to come to our house on a Sat evening.  The provider and I text message each other a few times during the day to confirm.  The time comes and goes.  After 30 min, I text message the provider.  Supposedly one of her family members had an accident and was in the hospital.
-We talk about plans for the following weekend.  Provider A is available, but my wife was a bit disheartened by the Sat no-show.  As of Tues, I make sure there are no plans.
-A week or so goes by.  I text message the provider.  No response.  I wait a few days and send another.  No response.
-At this point we're done with provider A.  It's really too bad, because I was really hoping she would have made the outcall!

Late last week I contact provider B.
-Provider B writes me back on Friday, saying she's interested.  She lets me know she can arrange for me to get verified if she has the info.
-Sat morning, I send her a copy of my paystub (electronic) and let her know she can verify my address online.  I let her know my wife is between jobs and does not have that available.
-This morning I send a follow-up as we're hoping to have an appt for Wed evening.
-As of Monday 6pm, no response.

After reading all of that, am I blacklisted?  Am I doing something wrong?

If a provider really wants me to go through prefereed411 or whatever, I'm willing to do it.  It'd just be nice if someone would walk a newb through it.

Thanks

Ps.  I'm also posting this on ASPD, hoping to get more responses.

You pissed off "A".  Not that what you did was a bad thing, but she may have written you off as having newbie jitters, or a wife that's not really into things.  It's POSSIBLE that the medical emergency was the truth, but if she's not responding, either the hospital situation was worse than you described, or she's being nice about not wanting to see you.

Now, for provider B, you sent her WHAT?  I'm sorry, but of all the things that I've shared with providers, a pay stub has never been on the list.  That just strikes me as inappropriate, and may have hit her the same way.  Think about it, you either don't make enough money, and she thinks she's taking the grocery money, or you make a LOT so she figures you'll be a pompous ass, or she's afraid that if you share that much so quickly, you may have loose lips with her info.

Since this is all pure speculation, let's focus on providers C through Z.  Why don't you do some research and find about 5 to 10 ladies that might work for you.  Talk them over with your wife and let her prioritize them.  From there, start contacting with a date & time that you're thinking of.  Explain that you're both interested in meeting her, and in the meantime, sign up with a screening service so that you can supply that.  You've taken the newbie hurdle up a notch if you have no references AND you want to bring your wife along.  Expect to have a few people not respond.

Good luck

Thx for the response.

The paystub was just an alternate way of verifying employement.  At least I thought it was.  It certainly wasn't meant to offend or turn someone off.  I had actually tried to verify my own employment.  Turns out you need to be a paying member of some sort of network, and I work for a good size company.

Anyways, wife and I did discuss providers.  A was probably more my choice, B was hers.  C looks very much like A.

For C, I'll probably just let her know I'm a newb and offer to go through preferred411 or whatever.  

Thanks again.

into seeing couples. NEVER send someone a pay stub friend. THAT is CRAZY! Another suggestion-- I'd get someone you can TALK to. You're a newbie, and need to communicate with the provider beyond text messages. That didn't work for you before, and I think you'll be more comfortable with a voice than a text. Good luck.







-- Modified on 8/11/2008 6:06:47 PM

Two things about your situation that would have scared me off were the initial cancel, and the request for outcall. To be perfectly honest, requests by a couple are rare, but requests by men who are choking their chicken while they type out their e-mail are not. So when approached to meet a couple, I take it with a grain of salt. In two years of escorting, I've received a request to see a couple at least a dozen times or more. To date, I have only actually met with one couple. So your request is likely to be regarded with suspicion at the outset. Sorry, blame horny guys who get off on contacting escorts for a cheap thrill

The request for outcall would also be a bit of a concern. You didn't specify, but were you asking the lady to come to your residence, or were you renting a hotel room for your rendezvous? For me, providing outcall to a residence would have me nervous as well, because I just don't know what I might be walking into.

I'm sorry the first provider agreed to a second try with you, and then no call no showed though. All other things being equal, that just isn't professional. Had it been me though, I would probably have taken the cancellation as a sign that you were either not serious to begin with, or perhaps your wife wasn't on board with the idea.

The best I can suggest to you for success is to first make sure that the lady you are contacting indicates either on her profile, or in reviews that she is really bi. It may be that the reason provider B backed out is because she really wasn't interested in seeing a woman. (Just guessing here). Second, offer to come to the lady's incall rather than request outcall. Some ladies may find this more reassuring.

From the sound of it, you are doing all the right things in terms of providing whatever information the lady needs to feel comfortable. So my last piece of advice is to be patient and keep trying.

Many providers want to know that the female partner is in fact a eagerly willing participant and not just being talked into it.

Having the female partner make the contact sometimes makes the process much easier.  It will also give your wife a  chance to speak with the provider and see if the chemistry is there for her.  

Your experience, I suspect, will be much more enjoyable if your lady picks the provider and has chemistry with her.  Put the woman in a comfort zone, focus your attention on your wife and you will be well rewarded.

Some ladies are nervous about doing out-call, especially to a house. Once they know you, out-calls are not a problem.

So, consider doing your first date as an in-call.

I've seen on several ladies' websites that they insist on talking to the wife before they'll make an appointment. It makes sense that both ladies need to be comfortable. Don't EVER do the check stub thing again.

The only thing I have to add is that if you're going to join a verification site, use one of the more reputable ones. (Date-Check, Preferred411, RS2K) Don't wait for the lady to ask, just do it on your own. That way, you can do your research on the site to see which ladies see couples. The other great feature on those sites is that they are linked directly to the ladies' TER reviews, if she has any.

Good luck with C-Z

preferred411 worked out great for us getting started...

I am very new at this. Just two nights ago me and my wife saw c**** j****, in santa barbara and she seriously was amazing! All I had to do was leave donation out the whole time and she didnt take until we were satisfied, which we were very satisfied with her!! I think that is crazy they want to verify your employment? Thats getting to know you a little too well if you ask me. But then again I am very new. Best of luck for us both then.

edited by moderator, see below

-- Modified on 8/12/2008 2:21:14 PM

Better to do dumb things here and have us pick on you than do them out in the real world and run out of options.

I'm not understanding your comment about employment verification.  If you tell the provider where you work, she'll (discretely) do the rest.

My wife and I have done this every time and it makes thing go much smoother with the meeting,

Recommendations, shills and rants of/for/about a specific gals don't belong on this board.

Thanks for sharing, now how about posting a review?

jazz32

I am the wife and my husband and I saw a provider in LV last month.  I/We had never done this before. I picked her out from her web site and I initially contacted her.  After several emails back and forth, I felt comfortable before even seeing her in person. All went well, and in fact, we will do it again.