Looking for advice or maybe just ranting. I'm not precisely a total newbie, but I feel that this is a very newb question/situation. I contacted a well reviewed provider through her web form asking for a three hour session that was about three weeks out at the time. Gave all the screening info and a little intro. Was pleasantly surprised to get a quick response with a  confirmation that the date was on. I said I'd contact her a few days before the date to confirm that our plans were still good. All communication was prompt and courteous on both sides.

About five days later, she emailed asking if I could put down a deposit. I wasn't thrilled about the idea, but I could rationalize the request as it was a three hour appointment booked far out in a city that is very busy (with its fair share of NCNS, I imagine). Important to note that deposits are not mentioned on her site, nor do any of the reviews mention this. So I asked what percentage she was looking for and method of transfer. She came back with near 50% and by Moneygram.

I said I wasn't overly excited about it, but if I was going to send it via Moneygram I'd need her name because they'll ask for ID to release the money. She asked if she could use a third party to protect her identity. I understand the concern. 100% I do. But keep in mind, up to this point I've only communicated via email. No texts, no voice.

So my paranoia ramps up. I asked if she would mind sending me a quick picture (nothing suggestive) with a message or something just so I could verify who I was talking to. Proof of life, I guess?

She didn't respond for a couple of days, so I said that if that doesn't work for her I'm open to other suggestions, or if she was worried about me being a NCNS, we could cancel my appointment for now, and I'd contact her closer to the date to see her availability. I also stated that if she just wasn't interested or keen on meeting, if she could let me know I'd appreciate it so I can arrange other plans with someone else. No hard feelings.

She then sent me a picture that wasn't on her web site, but was very obviously from one of the same photo sessions as some of the pictures on her site. I didn't comment beyond that she looked great, and asked if we could have a quick chat on the phone just for my peace of mind, and so we could move forward. She emails asking if we could talk that night. I respond in the affirmative. No call. She has my number, I don't have hers. When I wake up the next day, no missed calls. I give it a couple of days before I email stating I was just checking in as we hadn't connected. She emails back stating she'll call a bit later that day. No call. No missed calls. No follow-up email from her.

At this point I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable or if my guy, which is screaming red flags, is right. The provider is well reviewed with recent reviews, but all the reviews state she had great communication (which I'm not experiencing), and nothing of booking issues like this. She's also at no point stated she's uncomfortable with anything I've said or suggested, but she's also not reaching out to help me facilitate the deposit she's not asking for.

Am I losing it?

-- Modified on 9/29/2017 6:58:08 AM

At this point move on. It is up to her to resume communications.

When the subject of deposit came up, did you consider changing to a minimal length appointment (1 hour) to avoid the financial risk for both parties?

Personally, I never book longer than 90 minutes on a first date. After all, if the chemistry is not there, what do you do? Walk away and leave a bunch of cash on the table? Stay and stare at each other?

Trust your instinct. Maybe you could ask those who have reviewed? Has it been over a year since her most recent one?

You sound like a reasonable guy, and you realize that your requested appointment presented a risk for her. She could drive all the way out to your place for a no-show and have missed out on more than one paying appointment back in town. Although I am usually against the idea of paying a deposit, I think we can agree that a deposit was not unreasonable in this situation.

But then you got anxious. I can be the same way. The  idea of sending out that money to a total stranger with no recourse in the event of NCNS is unsettling, and you had too much time to think about it before the appointment. The request for the picture and phone call made sense to you, but probably started to worry her that this was going to be a police bust or at least a very difficult client. After the picture but before a phone call, she lost interest in the deal. You probably won't hear from her again.

Next time, don't try to make the first meeting a big deal. Instead of booking three hours, keep that first meet at 60 or 90 minutes at the most. And if your location is so remote that you feel the need to entice a provider with a long booking, maybe it would be better to drive to their incall instead. Or get a hotel room in the city so you can still play host.

I’ll pay for pussy, but I won’t beg to pay for pussy”. Time to move on.

wants to show you a good time.

.. And like others here have said, it's time to let it go and move on to someone else.

Why would you book a 3 hour session with someone you don't know yet?

I know some that will not provide photos via any other methods besides their websites/ads.  

I agree with the 60-90 mns for first time. 2 hours is perfectly fine too! Any more and people get afraid of NCNS. I know some that hate doing the deposit thing too, but NSNC are a thing... unfortunately.

If anything, the paranoia from both of them killed the deal.

We all know that if he'd blindly sent the money just because she asked and then she ghosted on him, a number of people on this board would be telling him what a fool he is, he should've done better research, etc. Well, he did his research and could not find any indication that this provider ever asked for a deposit before. That gave him reason to pause. I don't blame him.

Let's not forget that according to the OP the date was booked and confirmed days before she brought up the deposit. She's trying to change the deal. Whenever a situation comes up around here where a monger tries to change the deal after confirming, everybody jumps up his ass, and for good reason. Whoever she is, I don't blame her for being nervous. Apparently something about this guy or this date made ears perk up for a NCNS. That's the bastards who pull NCNS ruining it for everyone.

I think she should take whatever it was in this case that made her nervous and add it to her site; "in this situation I need a deposit of X amount." She also needs to figure out a better way of collecting the deposit.

Again, I see her side of it, she's worried about lost opportunity and money, and she doesn't know this guy. Maybe someone she knows is reliable asked for the same time slot and she didn't want to tell him no just to end up sitting around with her available now flag up, waiting for the phone to ring. I get it. It was not at all unreasonable for her to want a deposit. Asking for it five days after she confirmed is out of line, but not unreasonable. It's also NOT unreasonable for him to ask for some assurance so he can feel comfortable about it, especially considering she doesn't normally do deposits. Then the fact she was prompt at first, but changed to taking days to respond to him; anyone would've been at least a little nervous. If a five minute chat on the phone would help him to not be a nervous wreck from now until the moment she walks through the door, then so be it. Considering the coin a Vegas gal is going to make on a three hour date, refusing to give him that is unreasonable, IMO. Ghosting him instead of simply saying something like "hey it looks like we don't quite have a meeting of the minds here, I'm not able to speak with you on the phone, perhaps you should find another provider" is just rude.

Most likely if he'd sent the money everything would have been fine, if she's well reviewed and established as the OP said. But that's not a guarantee. We all know plenty of providers with huge, solid reputations have pulled shit and screwed guys over for some reason or another. It's rare, but it happens. They know their popularity will win out over one sniveling monger reporting shenanigans. For pete's sake, there are providers with a history of outing guys that still have them lined up to see her, real full names and all.

I haven't ever paid a deposit, but I recognize they have their time and place. I am not dead set against them, I'm not one of these guys running around saying never ever pay any deposit. I'm sure I'll pay one eventually. In THIS situation, I think I would have done pretty much what the OP did, and I'd feel just fine about it. I don't think he did anything wrong. She's told him more than once she'll call him but didn't, and then went radio silent. She's demonstrated that she has at least some level of flakiness. It's very unlikely she's pulling a premeditated theft of a deposit, but if she's flaky then there's another layer of risk right there.

END OF MESSAGE

He booked a multi-hour session for the first time plus almost gave deposit. Smdh. One hr sessions for the first time and never give a deposit. IMO. She needs to earn a repeat/multi-hour session and always wait to get paid until you arrive.

Asking for pics and phone chat was overkill imo

Some providers are very paranoid when it comes to newbie. Especially if it's Incall.( I am assuming that's the reason she wants depsit).but i think you should move on when the phone calls were never  made as promised. It's not gonna be a great session if you both have doubts before session scheduled.