I am kind of old school even though I am 31.  But I think if you contact a provider a week in advance and she approves of you and okays the appointment time, one would not need to confirm the appointment the day of?  Maybe in this day and age technology allows people to change their minds last second with texts and mobile phone?

Well I scheduled a massage and the provider checked my refs and okayed me for the following week and asked me to confirm the day of.  Isn't she the one that needs to confirm with me?  Anyways, i did text and call the day of to confirm and no response or meeting.  

Gals, is this considered a flake even though i was warned to confirm the day of? This gal has good reviews too.

Btw, im fairly new to this and have only seen 3 providers.  So not much experience in how things are confirmed.  

Thanks for reading!

Sorry she inconvenienced you.  You did what she asked, and it's *always appropriate/good form* for you to call/email and confirm day of. Often they'll tell you the best form of communication or just ask them when you set the session up.  And many providers won't initiate the first part of the "two call" if it's your first time seeing them until the day of or the night before. Some providers want to know when you're on your way.

She stood you up without the courtesy of any notice in any way, shape or form. Of course that was flakey behavior or as they used to say back in the day, totally rude and disrespectful.

But she did you a favor.  There must be how many people you can see for an equally satisfying massage? And you didn't spend a cent on her, after she disregarded your time.

I agree that she was in the wrong. But, whether someone schedules an appointment a month out, a week out, or 24 hours out, I will ALWAYS give them a confirmation time. If they do not confirm by that time on the day of the appointment, it is considered a NCNS. Just because someone has been verified, does not always mean they will show up. More than just myself getting dressed & ready, go into getting ready for an appointment, so I need to again know the day of that you are still coming/want the appointment so I can make those preparations. You would be surprised at the number of gents who schedule appointments & we never hear from them again... hence the confirmation the day of.
The reason we do not confirm with the gents, are there are times when the reason for his cancellation or NCNS are actually warranted, & calling him might put him into a bad spot.. so the confirmation call is left up to the gent.

But with only three appointments under your belt you don't get to call the tune.  This business is simply not the same as booking an appointment for a haircut or an oil change.  Honestly, you need to confirm the day off even if you just booked the day before!

Is she a flake? Eh, who knows, but in the hobby a week is a long time and a lot can happen that effects availability.

It's just the way this industry works.

BUT I still make sure to confirm the day before and at times, the day of.

And this with gals that I've been seeing going on three years...every other week.

As you said, just the way this business operates.

I still confirm the night before or the morning of with my ATF. I've been seeing her for six years and she only books a few appointments a month but you just never know when the regular world will get in the way of your best "laid" plans...

To get caught up in who is responsible is silly to me.

It's just good form to confirm, and the onus doesn't need to be on one or the other.  You could argue that whoever initiated the session should confirm, but who cares?  If you want to see her and you want to make sure the session goes off, confirm.  Don't wait for her.

Plans change all the time.

It does suck that she didn't confirm or come back to you, but that's why you need to confirm if she doesn't contact you.

I recently had a more UTR (but still reviewed) provider coming to NYC from MN.  She and I emailed back/forth for a long time, and made plans a few weeks out.  The few days before, I hadn't heard from her (she was on vacation, she said, and would be going dark on communications).  So the two days before, I initiate confirmation.  Nothing.  The day before, I initiate confirmation.  Nothing.  Day of, I do it again.

Finally I hear back saying she's in a different state other than MN or NY, and that she had a family emergency.  It was irresponsible on her part, but at least I didn't keep the appointment time open and leave myself totally exposed to her situation.

Shit happens.  Whether I will extend the effort next time...I dunno.  Was kinda cheesy on her part, honestly.

...doing it yourself. That's not specific to this case but the point is the same. The only way to be sure about something is take the action into your own hands. I always confirm the day of. I always tell them I will confirm the day of and they have always said ok, great.

In your case it turned out to be a good thing you did call to confirm.

I don't think technology today has a lot to do with it. I think it's more a case of Shit happens no matter how well we plan. I take it upon myself to do everything I can to prevent it. If I don't I can only really blame myself because I am in the position of telling myself I should have double checked or in this case called,e-mailed, or text for confirmation.

-- Modified on 7/20/2012 11:56:08 PM

Sure we both have the timing correct.  To me it is just the proper thing to do.

Boston,

Sorry, you're wrong on that one.

Just because a guy *only* has 3 reviews does not mean he can't "call the tune". How many reviews, in your opinion, qualifies a guy who can "call the tune"? 30? 50? 100?

You have no right to tell someone NOT to bring this up in the forums. That's what the forums are for, is to ask questions and get constructive positive answers.

sunrosc

I told him he doesn't get to decide who calls who to confirm appointments.  He certainly has every right, even if he had NO reviews, to ask a question on the newbie board...

Crazy,

I agree that it was cheesy on her part.

How long does it take to text, "Sorry, can't make it. Will explain later."??

If I had gotten one of those in your situation, I would just taken it in stride and wait for her to explain later. (IF she wanted to)

Good on your part that you kept on confirming. That's the same thing I've done before. Saved my myself the hassle and found someone else.

sunrosc

the day OF, and get the hotel. If he does not call 3 hours prior to that appt. I am not going to hound him because it's not my business to worry about what is going on...I simply move on to other things. There should be a very clear routine about how and when confirmations should be made and by whom. I leave it up to the guy to confirm being he is the one who booked the date. If I were hiring him, I would confirm.

I do agree 100% that it's not really on one side or the other, though.

Look, you both want the appointment?  Make the effort.

I asked her if she would do a FBSM/DATY session and she agreed to $300/90 minutes.  Initially she was really happy to meet me, and we had good communication back and forth.

Then on one email she started to complain about why she couldn't get $500/90 minutes for GFE.  I said...I dunno, but NYC economy is bad, and many providers are not busy.

I got the feeling that after a while, she just didn't think it was worth her while.  Which is fine.  But instead of saying, "I had a change of heart, and I want to do the GFE session," my read is that she just pulled the plug.

Because on the follow I asked her if she would consider doing the same session in the future when she came to NYC or if I came to MN.  And her response was..."If we meet within a reasonable time, yes, but since you are in NYC and I don't see myself there in the near future, not sure that will work."  I offered to see her in MN, and her response made it seem like she wasn't into it, but would accommodate me.

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, because she DID send me a lot of unblurred photos and is an intelligent woman that I liked speaking with and want to meet, but my guess is that unless it's a GFE session, she will have another excuse and decline.

The shitty part was having to chase her down three times.

The OP is admitting that he is new to this so his original thought process IS based on his experience, or lack of it.  

I think it's a mistake to assume that both WANT the appointment.  We want the appointment because we want to get our rocks off.  The ladies want to make a living and the appointment is a necessary evil towards doing that.  They have more reasons to cancel, or flake (if you will) than we do.  

Look, it comes down to this.  As the "customer" we can sit around and tell ourselves that we booked so we should be all set but anyone who's done this for a while knows that isn't always the case.  Staying on top of the situation affords us the opportunity to, among other things, formulate a back-up plan.  

There have been endless discussions on this board about "who has the power".  Well, ultimately both sides have some power but the lady has the ultimate power to stop returning your calls or emails and even to just not answer the door when you show up.  Right or wrong that's the way it is.  Not realizing that is a good way to wind up alone in your bed whacking off to internet porn when you thought you had a sure thing lined up...

Which means that they both want the transaction.

There is no protocol for who confirms with who.  If you want the session, reach out and confirm.  Simple as that.

While I don't think his number of reviews is relevant, I ALWAYS confirm the night before by email. Also, I often drive from Tampa to Orlando to see visiting ladies or favs and I usually send a text a few hours before just to make sure again.

Who has the power? Who gives a fuck? I'm looking to have great sex with a hot lady, not be in charge of a business transaction. I don't want to waste my time driving somewehere, so I confirm.

I constantly see guys trying to compare seeing escorts with other business models, and it just doesn't apply. Find ladies who do things the way you like, and avoid the ones who don't. However, it does nobody any good for guys to come here and whine about how some gal won't conform to their expectations. We pay them for sex over a finite period, we don't own them or run their business.

-- Modified on 7/22/2012 1:43:27 PM