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sobriquet51 2 Reviews 2515 reads
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I am a first time post to TER and a recent VIP memeber. I recently joined Preferred411(basic). I am a novice hobbyist/cyber virgin-with no provider references-trying to break in-with the intent on posting reviews-and building a base for reference-although it will be through occassional provider contact-more so than regular contact.

I am not having much luck getting providers to respond to me. I have now contacted 3 of them (all well reviewed) by e-mail and I was painstakingly clear and honest of my virgin status and lack of direct references-asking for some help. The first provider I contacted-did send a one sentence response asking for a picture and "my references" indicating that she had not read or comprehended the information in my e-mail and also leaving me to think (request for a photo) that engaging with her would be more like match.com dating-which is a thread I do not wich to follow-I received no resposne from her afte responding to her request-again being honest about my status.

I have received no response at all from the other two providers. In both of these cases, I tried to sign up for the fan club/newsletter they offered on their website-this prior to sending them an e-mail asking for an appointment. I received no follow up e-mail that would give me permission to "enter" the restricted part of their website.

I am not complaining, just scratching my head, wondering what I am doing wrong and why I cannot even get so much as a response or suggestion from the providers I have tried to contact. I am only here because I respect the integirty of the review process and the up front information that it affords me to make discriminating selections-I do not wish to circumvent any part of it or be in any way dishonest. I don't have a lot of time or inclination for cyber chatting or posting-to bulletin boards, but I am wondering if someone out there could offer me some advice as to how to take the process forward?

AguaDulce1154 reads

I've had a very similar problem.  I've filled out four screening forms, and I only received a response from one of them (and that took a month without hearing anything from her -- she just called my work finally).

I know I did not make any mistakes or do anything inappropriate, and yes, I did follow-up with e-mails a week after I had provided the screening information to see if something had gotten lost.  No response.

If the providers are too busy, that's fine, but a short and simple e-mail letting me know that would be nice so that I can move on.  And in a couple of cases, after I had provided the screening information, I then saw posts on my regional board from the providers I had contacted, and they were looking for some clients.  Huh?

So I wondered if my information ever made it from the website to the provider.  However, I had followed-up with e-mail, so I just don't know.  Again, as far as I know, I didn't make any mistakes or doing anything inappropriate -- I managed to make it through one provider's screening process.

I'm to the point that I'm going to give up on screening forms.  I understand (and support) the need for screening, and I'm williing to give out my personal information.  OTOH, when I send out all this information and it gets me nowhere, not even a response, then it starts to make me a bit nervous -- I feel like I'm broadcasting my information to cyberspace.

I'm just hoping that I've had a run of bad luck.  I'll give it one or two more tries.  In the meantime, I've had some great experiences with providers who didn't require screening.

-- Modified on 6/25/2007 12:43:23 PM

-- Modified on 6/25/2007 12:46:20 PM

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Forrest G. Hump1414 reads

the lack of communication in this hobby amazes me ... some providers will only accept email --- and then never respond ...

dear providers, if you're not avail fine, just save us poor saps the trouble by letting us know or posting you're "unavailability" on your site...  just my humble 2 cents....

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mrfisher1558 reads

but keep trying. Move on to another group of providers and try again.

One think that you should do is to state a specific day and time you want to meet.  Many providers are turned off if this information is not there.  When they see an actual time and date, it becomes much more real and is seen as more likely to happen.

By the way, did you mention that you are a preferred411 member in your emails?

If all else fails, you might try an agency.  They are much more likely to get back to you and set something up.  Once you have done this you'll have that golden reference that will unlock the doors to a lot of other independents.

Good luck.

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AguaDulce1401 reads

Good advice, mrfisher.  Yes, I think I usually provide a specific time and day (with an option or two) that I want to see them.

And this is what frustrates me -- I have a busy schedule, so I'll often try to schedule our date a week in advance, so that I can lock it in.  At the same tiime, I feel like I'm giving them enough time to screen me (they usually want 24 or 48 hours).

But then after a couple of days goes by and I don't hear from them, I start getting pressure for that time slot to get filled with work or whatever, but I'm not sure if I should reserve it or not -- will the provider suddenly call me the day before and tell me that I'm good to go?

Again, I realize that we're all busy and all that, so I don't want to sound too negative.  I also realize that the providers probably get bombarded with e-mails, many of which aren't serious, so I certainly understand their side to it.  I'm not ready to give up quite yet.

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Hollys Hobby1700 reads

a well-reviewed provider is not only much safer than those who either aren't reviewed( not discounting newbies)and a provider who screens is worth her weight in gold.

hmmm... as for those who don't get back to you in a timely manner, well, listen to Mr. Fisher.

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keystonekid1223 reads

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jsparrow22174 reads

I'm also a newbie(3 providers;1 repeat).Mr Fischer gives good advice. Go to the provider's contact page: give screening info, and schedule a SPECIFIC date/time. My first 2 appointments were moved around a bit because of knowledge/trust.  The last 2 have been no problem.  You may have to be a bit flexible until you have established some trust.

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Psyliker1814 reads

Im an infrequent client, but have never had a problem setting up a date.

It also helps to be sensitive to a providers own personal life.  They have schedules too.  Take an extra day or two to build up a report with them.
You will garner their trust as well as get a sense of their personality, and theirs something to be said for a little anticipation with your paramour too.  ;)

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plmokn1676 reads

If you don't have any credit cards, nobody wants to give you one.
Keep trying. A lot of providers will accept employment verification, if you have no references.

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keystonekid1450 reads

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plmokn1689 reads

The good thing is, after building up some provider references, you don't get bombarded with junk mail and offers for a better mortgage rates.

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