Newbie - FAQ

First time--paid for 90 mins...got 60. Advice?sad_smile
oldguy666 65 Reviews 2335 reads
posted

I had my first experience today.  A hot, well-reviewed lady.  We exchanged e-mails for a couple of days, then met.  Had agreed on 90 mins.  Session was fun...but, after 60 mins, she said, "It looks like our time is up."  I wasn't watching the clock, so didn't realize it was only 60 until after I'd dressed.  Decided not to make an issue of it, and left.

Any thoughts?  I don't know if I offended her in some way--no indication of that, and I didn't ask for anything that might--or if she was put off in some way, or what.  I"m thinking of e-mailing her with my proposed review, stating that it was great, except for the "short-selling."  Good idea?

If you are sure she short changed you on time, your review should reflect that.  The highest grade on performance you give should her is a 6 if she took the full donation and shorted you on time, no matter what else happened.  This is a below average score that alerts us hobbyists that something was wrong, and it sounds like it's deserved.   You can do better...don't see her again!

there is another possibility.  Send her an e-mail saying you'd been reticent to mention it at the time, but then explain the issue and ask her to respond.  If she doesn't, post a review just as CD said.  If she responds and says, "Sorry, there's nothing I can do," same result.  But, while it may be a remote chance, she also could respond and say, "Oops!  My mistake.  I will make it up to you in our next session if you choose to re-book."  What is there to lose?  Especially if you enjoyed the first 60 mins.  Keep in mind it's very possible she just forgot and, like most good providers, did not check the envelope before the session -- and possibly not for hours afterwards by which time she didn't put two and two together.  Again, it all depends on how you feel about the rest of the session.

We're giving advice to newbs here, not experienced hobbyists who would have spoken up and mentioned that we were booked for ninety minutes, not sixty.  To date after seven years, I've never met a provider that didn't know the time allotment booked.  Those that cut things off prematurely for whatever reason have generally offered to return part of the donation, and that has only happened with ladies that I have seen on a recurring basis.   As I said, he can do better!

I saw a well reviewed Lady once in Las Vegas. I had booked for 2 hrs with her. During each of my  email confirmations( 2 weeks, 1 week and 1 day before), I had specifically mentioned the length of our time together. However the provider did start winding things down after 60mins. I did question her about our length and asked her to open up the email I sent to her. She appeared to be terribly embarrassed and did call and post-pone her personal appt that she had. She then did stay the whole next 60 mins and some more with me. So sometimes Ladies do forget or get confused with another Hobbysit in spite of repeated remainders.

Not very good business technique, but mistakes happen from eveyone. It is how they react to the mistake would make me want to go back or not.

Though it may not be professional, things happen. The important part is to communicate about it and resolve the problem!

Just re-read your post and must admit her words, "It looks like our time is up" is not a good sign.  This is especially true if she said it right at the 60-minute mark, indicating you had not yet presumed on her time (if she thought it was really a 60-minute session).  This indicates she may be a clock watcher, and also high volume, as she was thinking about being ready for her next session.
Perhaps this is because you're new, but you should have said, then and there, "Gosh, I'm sorry if there's been a mis-communication, but I booked and paid for 90 minutes."  If she didn't have the additional 30' she could at least have apologized and refunded the additional $$.

I like your idea of giving her the benefit of the doubt.  She may have thought he booked 60 but definitely has the markings of a clock watcher.  I would still contact her before writing the review, and then document the whole episode in the review.   If she responds with "OMG I am so sorry you  are right and the next visit is on me"  that should go in the review.  If she does not respond or the response is less than satisfactory, it should be in the review as well.

Thanks, guys.  Yes, I've thought of contacting her, too, before posing the review.  She watched TER--indeed, that's how I first found out about it: she told me to look at her reviews there.  I fear that it was not just that she forgot; it was a sudden and obvious turn toward the clock, and "It looks like our time is up."  (Then again, she might have just forgotten; she forgot earlier--during e-mails--that I do not have a hobby phone, and we were just going to confirm via e-mail.)  She IS pretty high volume, I'd guess: I said I was glad she was in this profession, and she said "You and a lot of other people."  A little off-putting, that last comment. -- At any rate, I'll let you all know how this turns out, and I'll document it in the review, as you suggest.

I've been shorted much more than 30 min...  but very often there are 60 minute appointments so she might have mistaken yours for one of them.   If she does not give a satisfactory response (to deduct of a future visit would be minimum) then you ae justified in putting it in your review.

even mention that a review might be a consideration in her response. That's never a good idea for a host of reasons.

I agree that it's most likely she simply forgot it was for 90 min. Providers don't become well-reviewed by shorting their customers. On the other hand, she must have realized it when she saw your donation, so the fact that she never acknowledged it is troubling. Still, I would give her a chance to apologize and make up for it.

Was the session cut short before you had a chance for an orgasm? If so, it seems odd that you both just wrapped things up and said your goodbyes without comment. A good provider will sublty give you a few minutes advance notice that it's your time to cum. However, I disagree with the comment that her saying time's up at the end of a 60 min. session might indicate a clockwatcher. By that time, if you aren't already dressed and walking out the door, you're sure to be presuming on her time.

and I am NOT looking to White Knight this, but why assume she knew which client's donation amount was in which envelope?  My envelope is always blank (though some girls want "gift" written on them, as if that's some sort of LE protection, LOL) and I believe most are.  It's often the case (and I've seen it) that a girl just shoves the envelope into a drawer or bag, along with several others.  If she did this, she'd have no idea who gave her what.  Maybe this happens only when the gal knows and trusts you; not sure.

be nice on all of these questions of what could have been going on inside her head.

I would have to imagine that she confused the appointment with another one. Don't think that's really a good excuse but I'm sure it happens sometimes. Also, unless there was something that truly bothered her about the session it's hard to believe that she would have knowingly done that.

If she is high volume (which it sounds like), and most of her appointments are 60 min, then it seems quite possible that she spaced out that this was to be a 90 min session.  She's human, mistakes can happen.  If shorting time was her MO, it would have appeared in her reviews.  If she did not check the envelope prior to playing, but found the extra donation later, it is possible she thought it was a gift/tip and that is why she hasn't brought it up it to you (though, I would think in her 'thank you' email, she'd express gratitude for the tip - which would give you the chance to address the miscommunication).

The perfect thing to do would be to address it in the moment, but since that didn't happen (and it doesn't sound as though she sent a 'thank you' note with appreciation for the 'tip'), I'd suggest copying the email where you both agreed to 90 mins and ask her (politely) why your time was cut short.  If this was arranged via phone rather than email, perhaps this might serve as a lesson why email creates a bit of a hedge against miscommunication for both parties.

If you enjoyed your time with her and would see her again, give her the chance to save face and make it up to you in the next session. If this second session happens and all goes well, I'd write a review of the second session and show her some grace by not mentioning her previous mistake.  After all, she made a mistake, owned it, and made up for it.  What more can someone ask?  If you do not plan on seeing her again (regardless of her desire to make it up to you), at least you now have a response from her to include in your review of this session.

Personally, I would say it's not necessary to send a lady a draft of a review you are going to post unless there might be some activities/dynamics that occurred that may not normally be on her menu - letting her proof the review so that others don't expect/demand the same things is to her benefit... and yours if you want to see her again. ;-)

Sidebar RE: Clock-watching. I've always thought this meant paying attention to the clock as the session progresses (hence the progressive "ing" tense of the verb) - checking one's watch/bedside alarm  repeatedly throughout the session.  Simply being aware of when the session is over and making a move/mentioning the conclusion of the date is not "clock watching", but simply being accountable with one's time.  It stands to reason that if the gent is not going to be accountable for the time, the lady must be.... especially in  higher volume settings.

Thanks, guys.  I'm going to wait another day or so to see if she sends any notes...whether "thanks for the extra tip" (if she did think it was supposed to be an hour), or "great to have you as a new client," or whatever.  She knew this was my first time, and we had had a friendly (and lively) e-mail exchange previously, so it surprises me a little that she didn't at least follow up.  

One of you posters asked if she ended it before orgasm.  We never got to that.  She was stroking my stomach and groin area, but never volunteered to go "further."  I didn't say anything, so maybe that was my mistake.  Should I have sent her a signal at that point?

Did I just hear you say that you paid her for 90 minutes but got only 60 with no sex?  If that's the case, my fuse until the review got written would be burning significantly faster.  Just so you know, you'll have virtually no credibility against her pile of good reviews.  Sucks, but it's true.  If you word things carefully, calmly and rationally, chances are better that someone will pay attention to it.

Her "pile" of good reviews is two.  At least, that's all that are there right now on TER...though I've seen her mentioned in connections with other girls (apparently several of them are friends and refer people to each other if they can't see them).

You saw someone with 2 good reviews that didn't give you sex and shorted you on time.  You were ripped off!  Chances are that one of those reviews was by her pimp/boyfriend and maybe she worked hard for one legitimate one to build the scam.  If you don't write a review, you're helping the next newbie get fucked, and not in a good way.

This is a completely different scenario than seeing a "well-reviewed" lady like you said in the OP.  Totally agree with AC and disregard everything I said (other than the sidebar).

I'm as suspicious of the following tidbit as I am of her only having two reviews:
  "I've seen her mentioned in connections with other girls (apparently several of them
  are friends and refer people to each other if they can't see them)"

Rather that supplementing her reviews, it could call them into question or point to something more sinister.

2 reviews does not = Well reviewed.

Often the ROB gets a Shill to post several good reviews. Check how many reviews these guys have given. If they have no other reviews and she only has 1 or 2 good reviews it is a BIG RED FLAG.

Check out some of the Rip off Reviews and I'm sure you will start to see a pattern.

PLEASE do everyone a favor and post your review! This is one of the main reasons we are all here to avoid these types of scams.

Posted By: EdrienneCole

Sidebar RE: Clock-watching. I've always thought this meant paying attention to the clock as the session progresses (hence the progressive "ing" tense of the verb) - checking one's watch/bedside alarm  repeatedly throughout the session.  Simply being aware of when the session is over and making a move/mentioning the conclusion of the date is not "clock watching", but simply being accountable with one's time.  It stands to reason that if the gent is not going to be accountable for the time, the lady must be.... especially in  higher volume settings.  
Correct. If we never paid attention to the time, do you realize how many people would overstay by 30 minutes or more... and NOT compensate for the extra time, because they "weren't paying attention". EC is correct, unless she keeps peeking at the clock, just letting you know when your time is getting to close, is NOT clock watching.
The only thing I can think of, is that she wasn't aware that is was a 90min... did she count the donation that you're aware of before the appointment started? I only had it happen once, but it did happen one time. I had a regular that always only did 1hr appointments... so I just assumed. After an hour, I started to get ready to go, when he said something, lol... he was a longtime regular & I hadn't counted the donation.. if I would have, I would've seen it was double what it usually was. No harm, no foul in my situation, but maybe ask her??
Or another possibility, is if she was MSOG... one and done, & whether you paid for an hour, or 90, they usually get ready to go after the initial shot.

I understand the "time" issue.  She wasn't clock-watching.  She may have thought it was an hour.  I will e-mail her to see.  But, there was no sex of any kind.  No touching of anything important.  Since it was my first time, wasn't sure if I was the one who needed to send the signal.  In my travels (Europe and Asia), the masseuses have always asked me if I wanted a HE.  Different here?

The HE is presumed to be part of the service.  That's what Full Service means; intercourse with its presumed end.  If there was "no touching of anything important," that's very odd.  Did you let her know you were new to this?  If so, she should have taken the lead.  I do understand being nervous and the two reviews are a problem because you had very little info re what usually happens in one of her sessions.  That's why seeing well-reviewed providers (more than 10 reviews) is a good idea for a newbie.  You have plenty of info to go on and don't have to worry about what's "on the menu."

Thanks for your encouragement.  I made a couple of rookie mistakes, but it's turning out well.  She just forgot, and is going to make it up to me.  I've also made it clear I want "more" next time, and she's very ok with that.  I've submitted my review, and I'll let everyone know when it's posted, and what her TER ID is.  She's not a rip-off artist.  

Posted By: inicky46
The HE is presumed to be part of the service.  That's what Full Service means; intercourse with its presumed end.  If there was "no touching of anything important," that's very odd.  Did you let her know you were new to this?  If so, she should have taken the lead.  I do understand being nervous and the two reviews are a problem because you had very little info re what usually happens in one of her sessions.  That's why seeing well-reviewed providers (more than 10 reviews) is a good idea for a newbie.  You have plenty of info to go on and don't have to worry about what's "on the menu."

I'm glad she offered to make good on this.  You might want to hold on the review...  nothing says you have to review your first meeting or that you can not combine the first 2.  I hope you are now better informed.  You may need to be a bit more forthcoming in asking for what you want.

One of my Favs is a Massage Girl...  the first meeting you get a massage & HE.  Later, you find she willing to go much further...  after she's sure of you.   She is still one of my Favs, 5 years later & we still have meetings occasionally.

Posted By: oldguy666
Thanks for your encouragement.  I made a couple of rookie mistakes, but it's turning out well.  She just forgot, and is going to make it up to me.  I've also made it clear I want "more" next time, and she's very ok with that.  I've submitted my review, and I'll let everyone know when it's posted, and what her TER ID is.  She's not a rip-off artist.  

You know what I would do?  Walk away with no review and consider it a learning experience.  The first lesson is to be very clear in your expectations.  When you arrive make it clear you are there for 90 minutes.  Also something was wrong.  If she would cut you off without an orgasm she is not a professional.  If you are older (me too) she may have just decided she wasn't going to indulge you.  Forget about it.  Find somebody else.  In retrospect my first times were a joke.  Now I am a seasoned veteran. Over time, it gets very, very good.

an invitation to get ripped off all over again. Considering all that you've revealed since your OP, it appears much more likely that she meant all along to take advantage of your inexperience.

If you intend to email her about this, you should do it right away, not wait for her. Her memory of the details your session won't last long. Even if you write this off as a learning experience, it might be helpful to find out how she responds.

If she does offer, say, a (true) 90 min. session at her 60 min. price, I don't think you should jump at it too soon. Give it at least enough time to see one or two different providers first.

Meanwhile, this whole episode shows that you need to do more homework. If you had, you would have known that "well-reviewed" does not mean two reviews, and that something's wrong if your session goes an hour without any sex. If you don't already have VIP access, get it. Read the 'Juicy Details' of more reviews, paying attention to the typical course of activities in sessions. Also, read the Self-Help Center (click the link under the life preserver icon on the Newbie Board main page), and some of the past threads on this board.

You'll learn that it's perfectly acceptable, even expected, for the client to express what activities he wants and when (within her boundaries, of course), especially when the provider isn't taking the lead in the direction, or at the pace, he would prefer. If assertiveness with women doesn't come naturally to you, it may take a few more learning experiences before you get the hang of it.

which is not a sign of a quality provider.   Do NOT send her a draft or even comment on your intention to review her.  Wait a bit so she can not be sure who wrote the review, lest she cause all sorts of trouble for you.  
She sould have given full time & you should not have needed to ask for the events to progress to FS.  Sorry, I missed that part.  I've had occasions where things just weren't happening...  Sometimes I've asked for a HJ to finish what we started.  Othertimes a lady might do so on her own or suggest it.  I've explained my medical situation to a few...  & the best providers say "it won't be a problem"...  and it has not been.  

I think you can do much better.  It need not be outrageously expensive to get proper services.

she won't be as liable to connect it with you. Always a good idea for newbies and vets alike when we need to be candid for the sake of fellow hobbyists. It this case, your chance of TER approving your first review should be better if it's of a more positive experience with another provider. Here's hoping you can have reason to write that before long.

Folks,

I've posted my review of this time now.  It's all working out.  She's been very nice an apologetic.  I have another one scheduled with her for next week.  Will report on that then.  

Posted By: oldguy666
I had my first experience today.  A hot, well-reviewed lady.  We exchanged e-mails for a couple of days, then met.  Had agreed on 90 mins.  Session was fun...but, after 60 mins, she said, "It looks like our time is up."  I wasn't watching the clock, so didn't realize it was only 60 until after I'd dressed.  Decided not to make an issue of it, and left.

Any thoughts?  I don't know if I offended her in some way--no indication of that, and I didn't ask for anything that might--or if she was put off in some way, or what.  I"m thinking of e-mailing her with my proposed review, stating that it was great, except for the "short-selling."  Good idea?
-- Modified on 6/13/2011 8:56:53 AM

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