How to attract hobbyists if you have no reviews?

Advertise by posting in the Ad Board with pictures, rates & services. Get a website.  

First, be sure to read the TER Instruction Manual which is locked as the top post on the Newbie forum. ("Return to Forum" button; scroll up.)  
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Here is a recent related thread: http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/newbie-33/it-took-me-almost-6-months-167876?page=1#167952  Related, but not exactly what you asked.
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Scroll thru the newbie posts and look for related subject lines: "I'm new." "Please help!" "How to get reviews?"  "Where to advertise?" "How to post an ad?" 3-4 pages should turn up several topics.
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Use the search feature and search for things like [first review] [all these words] and see what comes up.

to join TER and write a review of you.

see that anytime you respond to a post you are permitted to add a link to your website or ad. As GS said, be sure you post your once every 7 days ad on your regional ad board. Marketing is about getting your name and photo in the eyes of potential clients (like billboards on a highway).

...You still had hair to stroke.

just not where I'd prefer to have it, however.