I am much more generous now.  Taking my mom or wife out for a $200 dinner used to be much more than I was comfortable with.  I'd do it, but be taken aback by the cost a bit.  But now, after years of hobbying, I can look at that as very little compared to what I pay for an hour of fun.

That's just an example, but this carries through all over my personal life.  I am much more generous with my money.  It's not that I have any more of it, but I can put everything into better perspective knowing how much I spend on the hobby.

Before May 2004, I thought I would never get laid again, after a four year drought that saw no meaningful relationships, and no sex beyond lap dances at strip clubs, which diminished in desirability over that time.  Then came that fateful night in Philly, when I discovered TER after realizing that the dude across the hall at the hotel saw an escort, while I was getting all charged up to visit the local tittie bar.

Three weeks later, the drought ended with a touring provider from Florida, and I haven't gone more than three weeks since.  Oh, the memories, the parties, travels to Florida, Vegas, and other places.  Who knows what would have happened had I not sent out that e-mail to my Florida friend...

Ive always been a hopeless romantic and dreamt of the fairy tale monogamous relationship. But Ive also always believed in having the time of your life til you meet that person! But being a provider has pushed me towards a more relaxed point of view on relationships. MAYBE you cant get everything from ONE person and you should live life to the fullest every day regardless! AS far as sex it has changed my view when being with a boyfriend per say... Im hesistant to be tooo freaky! Ive become so open that some of the gentlemen Ive had relationships with were shocked! LOL ... I feel like it hasnt negatively or positively impacted my perspective but it has evolved my thinking to how things are in this generation!

I think you are rationalizing through some guilt. Just my opinion.

I would have to agree with Sindee. It has changed my life positively in so many ways, the most notable being the freedom it allows me. As well as the obvious benefit of being able to provide for a more comfortable standard of living for myself, I have accompanied gentlemen to restaurants, shows, spas and vacations that I never might have enjoyed otherwise. Not to mention the great people I have met. I was reminded of this yesterday morning when I woke up to an email from a gentleman I met over a year ago, before I even lived in NYC. He wanted to let me know he was in Manhattan for a week and had brought me a gift from a recent business trip to Mongolia!! I went into my office (day job) and wondered how many other girls had a piece of jewelry brought from Mongolia ... this business makes me feel so lucky!

There are stages you will enter when you decide to live this life that will constantly have you questioning your character, judgment, self worth and personal adequacy.  

Some of us need that to feel alive.

Becoming difficult to please, unrealistic in your fantasies of the opposite sex, fault finding,  taking it all too seriously and taking the spirituality out of sex.  All of this and more is the "ugly truth" for many.

Imo its easier to keep things separate, stay grounded and aware when you have less relationships to maintain on the outside.  

I recently had an UTR experience that definitely changed my perspective.  Now, the question is what do I do with that experience?




Sidebar:  NYC board is not so much boring, it just needs extra stimulation! Ha!  Cool thread!