Ray walks into a pharmacy and asks for a bottle of viagra.
The pharmacist says "Do you have a prescription?"
Ray says, "No, but here's a picture of my wife."
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One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch.

The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."

The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"
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There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch.

The first women said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me".

The second lady said, "My husband can get his whole head up me".

The third lady slid down the bar stool.
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A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a bridal shop and asks for a white dress.

"You can't wear white.", reminds the sales clerk, "You've been married three times already."

"Of course I can, I'm a virgin!", says the bride. "Impossible", says the sales clerk.

"Unfortunately not", the bride explained. "My first husband was a psychologist. All he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. All he wanted to do was look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector.... God I miss him"

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A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy.

The big guy says, "I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?"

The accountant replies, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess I'd rather be the husband."

The big guy says, "Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick."

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