I am trying arrange time with a provider coming into town and she is insisting on (OMG) my real name, phone number and stuff that I really don't want to share? I'm not into P411 or other services as they present the same issues. Thoughts?
If a girl has a ton of reviews from well-established reviewers on TER, I'm cool with it if she wants to do it via P411.
My experience has been that most girls are discreet with the info.
Good point on HER reviews...she has only ONE.
-- Modified on 8/24/2011 4:49:48 PM
Ladies that are current with their websites etc.
Have given three stellar and well reviewed provider refs....still a no go...oh well.
You need to provide your full name with ID and check-able references from independents. That is the bare minimum. Anybody can impersonate a reviewer who post on the boards. SAFETY IS NOT A JOKE. They can be there to rob her, assault her, rape her, it can be a LE entrapment, she could be put in jail, never get rid of that stain on her records, she can get her life ruined just because of one careless mistake of not screening one person properly, she can get seriously/permanently injured or they could be there to kill her. There is too much to risk. Definitely not a joke.
You are probably not going to win a debate with them over their screening requirements, so provide the info or move on. I just had this situation come up last week and gave her my real name. So far, so good.
If you are a decent guy with good white listing and you're known around the boards, then maybe she'll let the real name thing slide.
Being flexible - not rigid, is the way to making a gal feel comfortable. And it's always important to make the gal feel comfortable about you as a hobbyist.
Just my .02 cents.
nycad
Only when I first started in the hobby, and only a couple of times.
References have been good enough to get me to see anyone that I want to. I have never been turned down by a provider.
If you don't belong to a verification service or have solid references, you are better off bypassing her and seeing someone else.
The last thing I would do is give out my real full name and work info. It's too dangerous.
i completely agree with you about not wanting to give real name etc. especially if you have references and numerous reviews. i recently inquired about a lady visiting and her assistant sent an email with this long list of info to provide. i sent back an email joking "what no fingerprints." the assistant thought it funny, but those were the parameters set by the provider so that was that. The lady has the right to ask what she needs to feel safe. If you don't want to provide the info simply walk away and move on. Even if you were to somehow convince her to take less info than she is asking, wouldn't you then wonder if she was comfortable during the time you are with her. and that could affect the session. again i agree about not wanting to give so much real info, but she is completely in the right in asking for whatever she needs to feel safe. don't push it.
if a lady does not ask for it....i bail
i find it very weird (and dangerous) that someone would just say to a stranger on the phone "sure, just come over" without any questions being asked.
i find it very weird (and dangerous) that someone would just say to a stranger on the phone "sure, just come over" without any questions being asked.
i find it very weird (and dangerous) that someone would just say to a stranger on the phone "sure, just come over" without any questions being asked.
I have always thought it is in the best interest of both providers and hobbyists for everyone to be anonymous. I am particularly sensitive to this request because if you Google my name I am the only person you will see on the first 20 results.
(One time a provider asked for my name and work number over the phone, then called my work to verify me by finding me in the corporate voicemail system. I felt okay about that because I spelled my name for her phonetically, so she could find me vocally but not if she typed it in to Google. )
My approach: I have established a solid track record of hobbyism here and elsewhere, with conversations like this and many honest and thoughtful reviews, and savvy providers and agencies ought to be able to go by my TER/etc track records to verify me without compromising my privacy and anonymity.
I don't know the right answer to this, and I am not against giving my real name to super well established and well-regarded providers. But I would never do it for a provider or agency with no history.
I believe P 411 will accept provider references in lieu of personal information. I could be wrong. But this is simple. Move on to some other provider that will accept references from other providers. Most do.
As far as the suggestion by some, personal information is not the only method to screen. So what if someone give you personal information. How does that help you if the guy is a scum bag? You call his work?
I have given out my personal information in past but never felt easy about it. I will NEVER do it again.
The providers have a right to have their rules but so do I. Recently, I walked out when a provider asked to see my driver's license. The whole purpose of having Date-Check membership or TER info and provider references is to avoid giving out my personal info to every single provider.
The reason providers and agencies ask for ID is to make sure that they have verified the same person who is now in front of them. There has been quite a few reports about clients using the verification information of their friends or people they knew. The only way to verify that you are spending time with the same person you have verified is to verify their ID and to be adamant about asking for a real name, at least 2 references, phone number registered under the client's name + ask for ID in person to verify all the information given.
This business can be extremely dangerous for the ladies involved. There are thieves out there, dangerous guys who become violent, serial killers and LE. If the lady is well reviewed, I do not see why clients wouldn't be willing to share their info to give the lady some comfort.
Exactly, in fact we should take it a step further and have everyone furnish real identities...
The reason providers and agencies should also provide real ID is to make sure that hobbyists can be sure they are seeing the person they intended to see, and the personal info is not misused. There has been quite a few reports about agencies and providers using fake photos information and abuse of the personal info supplied by providers unhappy about review scores and/or when agencies change hands. The only way to verify that you are meeting the provider on an equal footing is to verify their ID and to be adamant about asking for a real name, at least 2 references, phone number registered under the provider's name + ask for ID in person to verify all the information given. This business can be extremely dangerous for the people involved. There are ROB's out there, girls with crazy boyfriends/drivers who become violent, crazy madams with god complexes that are quick to anger et. al. If the agency is honest and up front, I do not see why they wouldn't be willing to share their real info to give clients some comfort.
All the experienced hobbyiests and providers know taking a real name and ID does nothing to protect against LE and the best way to screen is well known and reliable references. However if a lady or agency still requires a full identity check, work #, license etc after that, perhaps you can ask her for her info this way EVERYONE is safe. I mean if she claims ID is for safety and she wont give you hers, she's basically telling you she is not concerned for your safety and you really don't want to spend time with a woman like that.