The most recent poll on the main page got me thinking about people who are married or in a relationship and active in this hobby. I'm not trying to be judgemental by any means when bringing this up, but how does everybody rationalize to themselves being involved in this hobby and still being in a relationship, whether it be marriage or just involved? Personally I'm single so I have no problems with this, but I'd like to get married some day and can't see myself still participating in this hobby. I saw that most people answered that they were happy with their significant other so that got me wondering why people are involved with this. Plus, I think this can generate some interesting conversation which this board sometimes lacks.
Whats up! Alright here we go, this one looks like its gonna make it a long night on this topic. You hit the nerve with a couple of people, I'm sure. I say to each its own when it comes to this hobby of mine. As someone who has been married and back again, it really made it better for me during the marriage. Like a refresher or weird therapy of some sort. I am not condoning being unfaithful but these ladies get lonely as well and I am more than sure that they seek out a different and more meaningful experience. We are all in this somehow and nothing is sacred anymore. I see your point but look at our society and all that it preaches. Do you really think that this will eventually be viewed as a normal job for a girl or guy? There are plenty of strippers that date the djs so why not let the providers date the webmasters and so forth? I would not be comfortable dating a provider for a very long time. Eventually, I would lose my self-esteem and self-worth. There are plenty of guys out who are not sensitive to this view of mine but I guess it does for pretty useful topics on this board.
I am not surprised by the lack of responses to your posted comments/questions re: being married and participating in this "hobby". Believe me, once you are married for "a while", I am certain you will think back to the day you posed this message and realize how ridiculous it was!
I'm not trying to be judgemental by any means and obviously everybody is entitled to their own opinions. I can say right now that I would't participate in this hobby if I were married or involved right now, but I can't say for sure how I would feel down the road. That's the only reason I was looking to generate some conversation. I could definitely see being involved in this hobby if a person was married and not happy in their relationship, but the number of people who said that they were happy was twice as many than those who said they weren't happy in their current relationship. I just thought that was interesting....
its about quality, quantity, and variety...i don't believe you're ever going to find all you want in a single "significant other" relationship...
like most men, i've been actively pursuing sex since i was 12, when i had my first taste of success. that pursuit has taken me into strip clubs, brothels, and the yellow pages of cities around the world...in real life i've had serious relationships with wonderful women, fallen love a few times, experienced good love making in my marriage, but it will never enough for me...
the love of my life was beautiful, gave great head, loved to dress-up, play seduction games, came 3-4 times everytime i DATY, took her time and enjoyed the challenge of getting the 3rd cup. it was heaven, but i could do that every night, she could only raise that energy a couple times a month...
seppy, take my advice, fall in love with a "partner for life" who challenges you intellectually, loves to cuddle, has the same goals, and agrees with your plans for the 401(k). but, keep your hobbies and your pursuit of great sex alive...
One simple question, Seppy when you do meet the love of your life, do you plan on telling her/him about your little hobby? Before you cast judgement on someone else, stand in their shoes for a while. Variety is the spice of life. When you are single and having a different girl every other night, hard to give that up permanently.
By the way, after talking to some of the providers, they prefer married men. They know how to treat a women, are better in bed and much nicer is always their comments. you know I never joined this hobby till after I was married, there was no need for variety. Maybe you should be saving you money and hit the gym and some online dating.
That's an excellent response and just what I was looking for to stir up some conversation. I wasn't trying to pass judgement as another post said but rather to talk about something that I found interesting. I totally believe that we as people usually subscribe to what society deems appropriate, i.e. monogamous relationships rather than what our natural instincts are telling us to do which is to impregnate as many women as possible. Obviously the impregnation part is not what we are looking for in this hobby, but that's what is driving our sexual activity. I can't see myself participating in this hobby when I'm married, but that doesn't mean that I think it's wrong, nor would I say there is no chance that I'd ever come back to this hobby. I really don't want you guys to think that I posted that first question in judgement of anybody because I'd never do that without being in somebody's shoes first.......
I always think it is not because a person is unhappy, but rather they are looking to spice things up.
Life happens, & sometimes marridge's becomes routine. So, I would think that a man would rather have a great few hours no strings attached. This is verses meeting someone & having an affair. Which could become a rather sticky situation. So, instead of an affair a man would just be looking for a relaxing few hr's before he returns to reality & the woman he loves.
& my favorite quotes: "I'm a sure thing" & "I go away" LOL.
It's interesting you bring up this topic, as I have noticed alot of strangely moralistic commentary from single guys on several of the TER boards. I am extremely happy and in love with my wife, yet I occasionally hook up with escorts - what gives? Well, when single, I dated alot of girls. In my experience, the girls who were wildest in bed were NOT the girls that were the most caring, thoughtful, reliable, etc..
My wife is far from the best sex I have ever had, even before I began visiting escorts (which didn't begin until AFTER I was married for 5 years). While she would be badly hurt to know that I felt that way and that I see escorts, she doesn't need to know. I have been a MUCH better husband since I started seeing escorts and my wife would agree with the timing, although she has no idea of the reason. I don't bother her with sexual requests with which she is uncomfortable. I cuddle with her without necessarily making it a prelude to sex. She is very happy with this situation.
When I got married, I hadn't realized how important good, creative sex was to my psyche. I thought I had sown my oats and that I could settle down. Truth is, trying to do that put a big strain on me and my marriage. Coming to grips with that was a big deal. I love my wife dearly - she loves me and my kids and shows it every day. My responsibility is to make sure she NEVER finds out about all of this. Hope this helps you understand.
Household chores and kids put a lot of dumpers in a woman's sexual drive. Men are wired differently than women. Sometimes it is necessary to separate pure sex from everything else.
Everyone has to make their own judgments about the risk reward ratio on seeing escorts while being married. Fortunately or unfortunately, I am single and don’t have to wrestle with this issue.
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