know, I've been experiencing a 2 week bout with irregularity. I've always been blunt, so let me say I've been bloated, and severely constipated. My tour has suffered. What happened last night is one of the most hideous events to become me. I had a 2 hour date with a well-endowed regular that I am quite fond of. I was nervous as I was experiencing some sharp GAS pains. My hunk insisted on a Greek session. I lubed up my buttocks as well as his big cock. I eased him in VERY slowly finally taking him all in. He started to thrust hard and I had this sensation that I was going to black out. My buns started to quiver, convulse, and SPASM!!!  In mid thrust I felt a tsunami type explosion erupting from ass!!!!  The 2 weeks build up of GREASY American food turned excrement, exploded from my ass all over my client.  He looked like he'd been playing in a mud hole in the outback!!! He yelped, like a whipped dog!  He ran for the shower, dripping with POO. I was so embarrassed and mortified!!  The sheets and carpet were now a medium shade of brown. My client will never be back. Needless to say, I refunded his donation, and offered him a free session in the future, but he informed me he "didn't want to wear a PONCHO"!!  Alas, I've lost one of my favorite clients!  I'm the eternal optimist, so the upside is that now I've returned to regular bowel function!!!  I wanted to get my side of the story out before he writes a "SHITTY REVIEW".  Everyone has a bad day once in a while!!!  BTW, I threw away the sheets and changed rooms.

I applaud your honesty! You Go Girl! Hey it happens. I had a client sqirt me. That was not fun. Id like to put a sign on the bathroom door explaning how to have the perfect clean asshole. lol. be good!!! P.S get some white rice.

to replace the soiled linens, and they claim the carpet is forever ruined. I do however, FEEL so much better. Thanks for the empathy!

Go Vegan

FROM GREECE WITH POOPOO...


Although in my tail...ahemm...tale, the espionage outweighed the excriment.

...Bond theme music...!

By the way...for you Bond fans out there,

Thefemale heroine in my version wasn't named Poo Poo Galore'...
It was to be Buttania Blossom.

Thescript was eventually "shit-canned".

Smelly is this you? If not somone else shares of sick humor.

white night.  When do I get to bite those nipples and go to Mykonos my LOVE ???  You are warped, yet astute like me!!

In a big way! I love to see a man beg. He's not ready yet. But he will be. LOL!

It's just that I was about to have breakfast

Now I feel like taking a shower first!

thirsty

him before and you would be lucky to spend time with him.

DOWN! Lol! Have a great day thirsty.

Thundernipples!


...needless to say...the "nipple" script was never ever resur- erected.It was terrible "foreplay"...ahumm & ahemm...I mean screenplay and the directors moved on to a BIGGER AND BETTER
Boob play(luv to shake and stir them)...oops again...sorry.. Screen Play with RUSSIAN with lust...love.

...Bond theme music...!

When I see what he has on his menu. How he presents it. How it tastes. And what is for desert!

like the nectar of the gods, and YOU my sweet are the dessert!

I have to be the judge. When he's in my court.

-- Modified on 2/11/2005 7:38:34 AM

I always thought that when a guy said "I fucked the shit out of her"  That ...well it was just a figure of speach.

So now I'm thinking that maybe it is a good thing that I am not
(shall we say) good enough or have enough to f#%k the shit out of any lady.

Thank You

I honestly can't wait for your post retiremnet tell all book!

a clip-on tie? Because nothing gets me hotter then a young man in a catholic school uniform.

like better????

Geez, Emma, that was a disgusting post assuming it was serious. Have the dignity to cancel your appointments if you're in that bad a shape. I hope the poor gent got his money back.

Since your client insisted on a Greek session, I don't feel sorry for him.  It comes with the territory.  However, I do hope you feel better!

Scat to the music........An ode to flatulence

Thank you

or Gone with the Wind, A Life in the smelly underside!

most welcome.  I've had to deal with Aboriginies.  Not the most sanitary people in the world. Wished I could have had my ASS EXPLOSION with one of these people, (Not a well hung ATF Client}!!!  My arse is getting better, so all beware!!!

Did he get a partial refund or did you charge extra?

making fun of my recent bowel problems)!!!   Who wants to throw a vegemite pattie on my now relieved vagina???

Or shall I say Doggie style all day. Lol

Glad your home safe!