Can the first part of it be a sensual lap dance?

Yes of course...any provider would more than likely be pleased to accommodate you by starting  off the session with a private lap dance. That almost goes without saying.

I posted a request for providers that were willing awhile back and only got two replies.  One was from an out of town provider who gave quite a show/experience.

That would most likely be an unwelcomed request to a provider who was not prepared.

To exert the energy required to dance to music (and more importantly, to be in that mood) requires a different mindset then they might have previously entered the session with -- and I would not want to appear demanding/picky.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.