I prefer mutual direction. Where both partners are comfortable in directing while at the same time  responsive to their partners lead as well.

I've been with women that seem to have an exact routine and resist any variance. Seems to kinda take the spontanity and shall I say fantasy from the session. However, I don't much enjoy providing instruction for every thing that happens.

There are dudes who have professional responsibilities that  require authoritative control over everything that happens.  I don't think it is a matter of manhood but suspect at times they enjoy being submissive and having a beautiful lady take charge of the session.

Everybody has different wiring I guess.

I tend to like it when things don't follow the script - mine or hers.  Often the reviews descibe, step by step, what the session will ultimately be every time.  For me this takes away the fun.  I prefer it when things are more organic - sometimes sensual, sometimes rough and sometimes off the hook kinky - which requires both the provider and me to take charge at different times and read each other's body language.

We are not fucking a girlfriend or a wife here. The problem is that one does not know truly what is allowable and what is not until they run into a problem. I guess the rules are supposed to be set up ahead of time, but nothing ruins a session faster than 1. Yes 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. No 5. No 6. Yes  etc. True comfort and trust only typically comes with multiple visits, but that requires patience and let's be honest here money. Another issue is when a "hobbyist" runs into a Stop sign and the more subtle Yield sign. I will admit that I am sometimes hesitant to take charge because it seems that the provider is just not comfortable.  I would never force any issue because that is a total turn off for me. I can sense instantly if there is hesitancy and I apply the brakes as one should. You can sense they are not comfortable and it is in my case impossible to ignore. The truly great providers can somehow control their non-verbal cues or maybe they are better at judging a book by its cover (please elaborate). I am sure that none of this is easy and probably comes with practice or perhaps it is a natural talent. This openness allows me to organically take the session where I/we would like it to go, but I am always looking for signs that I am doing something that is not kosher. IMO this is the difference between a normal session and a true GFE.

Does any of this make sense?

J

I had one provider who wanted to run the session entirely her way, and at $600/hour I had no interest in doing so.  It was good up until she bitched/moaned about guys wanting to take charge.

Hello...aren't I paying you?

both

i like both depending on the mood i am in and who i am with..one time i could be a roman slave master..the next time i could be her sexual pinball machine..every guy has his dominant and submissive sides..you just never one which one will knock on the door first..

I don't think that you could always say that it has to be one or the other. As a professional provider, one skill should be staying aware of the balance in the session. A skilled provider will seamlessly allow for the man to take charge, or be at the ready to do so herself.

It's funny how one never knows the power play until you're together. A few times now I have had men who start off either dominant or non committal (in the sense of what to do) literally just melt at directions. Notice I say "directions" versus "commands." It was extremely intense for them as they had absolutely know idea they could or would ever feel so submissive to someone.

I understand that you aren't necessarily referring to domination and submission when you say "run the whole session." But that's also something that chemistry dictates. I know some women who have their "bag tricks." If the guy isn't being decisive on what he wants they'll decide on an activity and make it happen. Some guys want you to decide it all, but then they meet a goddess and just don't care as long as the pleasure is there.

That's my style personally. Pleasure driven. I don't care if the man has his routine set or not. If it doesn't feel good, it's changing. If he has no routine and wants to follow along, I'll take the lead- to places that feel good.

It's unfortunately never simply one or the other- even if a man or woman thinks s/he is one way, they'll one day be surprised in a situation where they feel completely different. Just a few weeks ago I met a man who upon seeing me just wanted to ravage me. Who am I to argue? But at the end, he said that he's never felt that impulse before- he's ALWAYS "followed along." He's been in the hobby for over 20 years now.

To reiterate the point of my title and initial paragraph- it's up to the woman to recognize which the man wants and provide that within her comfort levels. That's what makes her skilled, and that's what get's all the gentlemen who want one or the other to be satisfied.

Kiss me,

Kate