New York
Newbie Mistake?
"Getting a little more comfortable" or just physically escalating things by placing your hand on her thigh or something if you're ready to move onto the action part of the date. 
Is it just me or is trying to like get to know someone who'll you'll eventually be intimate with totally inappropriate for the whole hobby thing. I mean I'm extremely new to kind of service so I'm just wondering if trying to engage in small talk with potential providers is a good thing to do... or am i just making the situation so weird that they don't want to be bothered with me at all...
Thoughts anybody?Don't feel like you have to make small talk. Some providers will be fine with it and will maybe like it. Others will think it is weird / obsessive. If you just want to screw, then leave the small talk for the girls you meet at a bar.
Just to be clear, my comment was about small talk before you meet for the first time. I think small talk when you meet is a must
oooh you see... and that's the mistake i think i made...small talk to a provider you have not met yet in person...your first and only correspondence was via email or private message can potentially turn them off to any future responses or inquiries...Yes?
Some ladies prefer to exchange emails or conversations before a meeting so they can figure out how to make things go well for you. Some ladies don't mind the chit chat AFTER they know you're serious (and have had at least one rendezvous). Some don't go for the out of session chit chat at all.
For many ladies, they don't have the time for small talk with everyone who contacts them without knowing who is serious and who is just wasting their time with no intention of arranging a meeting and PAYING them for their time (and companionship). I'll guess that those that have been burned the most are the least likely to appreciate or have the patience for the pre-meeting banter.
However, once you're together and have performed the ceremonial envelope exchange, small talk usually comes easily. Maybe after she knows you're genuine, follow up emails will be easier, especially if they are about "The next time we meet, ...
oh wow...I would not have seen it that way... I guess too friendly is creepy...okay...i'll just get to the point from now on...will be kinda awkward to fk somebody with no feelings or knowledge of them...LOL but i guess practice makes perfect thanks for the input "Thoracicsurgeon"...much appreciated
In fact, many girls would be happy if you talked the whole time so they don't have to work so hard. Unless, of course, you're so bad at small talk they'd rather suck your cock than talk to you. Seriously, chatting for five minutes or so is fine, especially if you've brought some wine or she's offered you some. But most of us are there to have sex with a hot woman, and if she looks as good as her pictures, I'll be wanting to get my hands on her PDQ. Lips, too.
I get the point...i mean we're all there for fun...I guess my whole thought process of how to engage the particular provider you're interested in meeting was misconstrued. Being my first time or trying it out for the first time... I'm trying to make somewhat of an impression or i guess that shouldn't be an issue...?
It should not be an issue. You are paying her not only for sex but to pretend to be fascinated by every word coming out of your mouth.
At very least, i try to get to know the gal 'a little bit' and if the vibe feels right, I'll try to get to know her more. It's a case by case sort of thing. Sometimes you want to make a deeper connection. Other times you just want to bump and grind, clean up and say see ya.
nycad
That's how I feel...its just who i am personally...i mean both parties are strangers to each other and whether it shows... the nervousness is only natural so i figured talking would be a good way to make the transition from strangers to lovers go a bit more smoother.
Then it's wham, bam.
Not.
It will make the provider feel more comfortable (generally) and you as well. I also like it (and I think most providers do) when a guy tells me a little about himself when he contacts me (like his hobbies, favorite books etc) as it's a bit more comfortable before meeting someone to know a bit about them (in addition to their screening info) and helps to facilitate conversation.
"Getting a little more comfortable" or just physically escalating things by placing your hand on her thigh or something if you're ready to move onto the action part of the date.
That's why I asked the questioned...this is a whole new way to hookup for me anyway... I can see Thoracicsurgeon's point of view how some providers might be on guard as to who is this stranger asking me questions. But I mean harmless inquires i would hope could make the whole encounter that more pleasurable for both parties.
by email as a first contact. Ideal first contact emails include a little about you, the date you were thinking about meeting, and your screening info. If you're nervous giving your screening info until you know I'm available, I'm perfectly fine with that info coming after I have confirmed my availability for you. I don't want to write back and forth every day til our engagement, but I do love a few email exchanges getting to know each other.
Many ladies are quite the opposite, however, and just wish to set a date and then confirm the day before or the day of. You'll be able to tell by the tone of her response.
I personally delete emails that are one-liners asking if I am free tonight. I'm never "free tonight" unless I know you very very well and really am free (unlikely, but it has happened).
I see...
I guess everybody has different personality traits...some want to get right down to business and others wouldn't mind a getting a little personal. You take the pleasant with the bad... yup "Welcome to the hobby"
Thanks for your input Sarah...appreciated!
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