Hi all!

I hope this will prove the right place to post this. I'm a man in his early thirties. I've been hobbying for a while - about ten years. Initially, it was fun. But after a while I realized I don't really enjoy it anymore but I can't stop myself from going and seeing providers. It seems "it" has control over me and not vice versa. On the rare occasions that I do enjoy seeing a provider, it happens when I have good chemistry and I just enjoy talking and caressing each other more than anything else. I also never had a problem getting erection a while ago but that is not really happening anymore - it is if though I'm not really stimulated. I think it is all in the head but not sure about it. I'm also "flying solo" many times but over the years it just became something very mechanical for me and more of a habbit. "it" also has control over me and not vice versa.

I don't feel ashamed in what I do. I'm not proud at hobbying either but I don't see myself as doing anything immoral or something "bad". But I think that somewhere over the years it started affecting me in that that I rarely take interest in women anymore or find some of them really attractive (it is quite rare when I do). I never thought about women as sexual objects or anything of the sort. On the few rare occasions where I dated someone I liked, holding hands got me excited (and Mr. happy) more than being naked (duh).

I think I have sexual disorder(s) and I think is also affecting other aspects in my life I'm not fully aware. Are there professionals out there (psychologists or something like that) with open mind that I can consult with and get help?

Please be serious as this is a serious post.

Hi johnanonymous,

You seem to be a wonderful, young man. Did you also try meeting us for drinks, dinner or spend an entire night together? It sounds like you very much enjoy closeness and you also like to establish a connection with the person you are with. So do we, johnanonymous. Ecstasy is only reached by a triangle of body-life, mind-life, soul-life.

Live passionately,

Anais

I doubt anyone on this board would be of particular help.

And yes, there are professionals that can help you figure out if there is something wrong with you and, if so, help fix it.

HTH

or you could try the FAQ board or the The Erotic Highway too.

if it started to be something you don't enjoy anymore or less and less and you started to feel it is controlling you, maybe it is time for you to just take a break from it for a while and see how that feels.
Who knows, maybe you started wanting something more from relationships and women, more than just sex. Maybe you are not comfortable with commercializing the most intimate part of women-men relationships. Maybe it is just a phase but one thing is for certain -if you believe me, I know from first hand experience- just get some distance for a while. Not just us ladies but from boards as well..

why not?
if you change your mind we are and will always be there.
just my 2 cents.

I would join some dating sites and get a normal gf! Dude, TER is definitely not the place for talking and caressing and you are probably looking for something a "true" gf can only bring you!

This is just one channel, one out of many. It doesn't hurt posting here.
The issue is that I believe this habit, which I can't seem to break, also influence my dating capabilities.
I just thought that this message might be viewed by someone with similar experience.