Yes, it’s that time again. Been about 6 months since my last sermon about lax business practices and courtesy in the hobby so here goes again.
Recently, after the last mixer, a spectacular event once again wonderfully put together by TBM and TTO, there was a post and following thread concerning a hobbyist and provider who attended the mixer. Apparently the hobbyist stood up, I say apparently because if the issue was ever truly resolved I’m not sure, in any case the gist of the thread from the provider’s POV was that the hobbyist never followed through on an agreed upon appointment. My reaction when I read the provider’s complaint, and yes the hobbyist in my opinion was out of line using a certain word when addressing the provider, but my feeling when reading the provider’s injured view was I don’t give a crap. Before the steam starts boiling out of the ears of any provider reading this let me relate why the provider’s complaint fell on deaf ears. As Pink says “what’s the “dealeo.”

At the mixer in conversation with other hobbyists I explained I haven’t been that active for a while in the hobby. One of the reasons was I grew tired of the constant lack of accountability in this hobby. No exaggeration when I say that two out of every three appointments I made ended in a no show by the provider not contacting me with the needed information for the appointment the day of or when I got to the location the provider not answering the phone or text as agreed upon.
So after the mixer I thought why not try my luck again. I had cash burning in my pocket. But true to form of the three appointments I made one was a no show at the location and the other the provider didn’t bother to try to contact me to let me know that the appointment, which had supposedly been agreed upon was not happening. In fact it took me contacting them after the supposed time to find out what was what. In that instance the provider emailed me back with some story which I don’t know whether to believe or not, such has my belief system been tested that my response is almost an automatic yeah sure. The point is I had to contact her about an appointment with her UTR friend and had I not done so I’d still be waiting to hear back. To wrap things up my point is this. Understand when providers handle the business with disregard for another’s time and energy no one or at least I’m not going to give a flying you know what when I read or hear about how some “A___” hobbyist didn’t follow through on their obligation. I’m going read or hear it and laugh and think turn about is fair play and I’m almost ready to cheer that hobbyist for doing something that I couldn’t do but have wanted to do, to balance the scales somewhat.
So next time the appointment can’t be done or there’s the chance to do a multiple hour gig instead just email or text the other poor schlub and tell him it ain’t going to work. The last appointment that did actually happen for me I told the provider prior “if something comes up with more work or whatever just text me because I fully expect this appointment not to happen.” She looked at me cross-eyed. Cause here’s the news flash the schmuck not getting it isn't going to rush to the bathroom and get the razor out to slash his wrists because some here and gone hour isn’t happening. But like with the provider recently with her UTR friend who never contacted me, I’m wouldn’t see either of them now even if I got paid for it. And it makes me think three or four times before making another appointment with another provider and by then I usually don’t make the appointment. So another provider is also losing cash.
c

Who are you booking appointments with? I can't remember the last time a provider bailed at the last minute. This is not a boast. I guess I must be making good choices. Thanks, TER.

sadly, at least half of them posted or advertised here on ter. the most recent non-contact  just recently posted here.

In all my years of being a member of TER, I've only had one instance of a provider standing me up. And that was probably a misunderstanding on my part.
If you go thru the proper checks and balances the we recommend at TER this should not happened. If you are   the type that just makes dates from Craigs list and the like than you should expect what you get.

I'd like to hear from my TER buddies on this one.

-- Modified on 4/14/2011 1:36:29 PM

I am not a regular poster or reviewer.
Over the years I have seen a number of providers on a pretty regular basis and have been stood up without any rhyme or reason and it's difficult to know whether their excuses were legitimate.  
There is, however, no excuse, for not having the courtesy to text someone that is going out of the way to meet them.
If someone does not make the effort to tell you that they can't make it and does not want to somehow rectify the situation, all you can do is move on and that holds true for the cutomer and provider.

I'm going to admit that I am not a perfect-record hobbyist, but that is 100% due to work and personal obligations that crop up at the last minute - and not because I get off on making promises I don't intend on keeping. I can solidly state that although I have cancelled a few appointments in my time, I have never stood anyone up, and my cancellations have always been what I deem well-within reasonable timeframes - even if the provider felt differently. While I know any cancellation means time and income lost, I cannot imagine what I could have done differently. Two weeks ago I had a 10am appt with someone I had wanted to see for a very long time, and a family obligation cropped up - I emailed the provider at 7:30am and she replied angrily at about 9:30am. Believe me, I was disappointed, but once that anger was projected I was glad the appointment didn't happen. Similarly I recall a morning appointment that I cancelled at around 1:00am the night before, and the provider never saw the email, sent me a similarly angry note, which I replied by forwarding my 1am email which she then found in her spam folder. She apologized and then next time we were able to get together she acknowledged the previous discrepancy and solidly rocked my world.

On the other hand, I was stood up once. I was left standing on a street corner. I shrugged it off and went home. But I understand that its not as easy for a provider to "shrug it off."

To be honest, this always has worked better as a spontaneous hobby for me. Inquire at 10am, see one another at 1pm. If I have to plan something a day or two in advance, there is a much bigger likelihood of something cropping up before then....so I am making a conscious effort not to do that anymore.

I agree there is no reason not to be alerted in some manner in the event of a broken appt. Again this does not not happen often ab
Nd for it to happen to you is suspect.
Just my two cents.

Maybe you've been lucky.

I remember one stretch of time where I got left standing on the street corner 4 or 5 appointments in a row. Two of them were for the same provider on the same tour.

Every once in a while it still happens, but not recently.

You have fifty-three reviews, including some with top-shelf ladies that I know.  It's clear that you are not a newbie, but I don't understand your rant that 2 of 3 ladies are NS.  Maybe you're having a run of bad luck, but if that's the issue, then stick with the ladies you know won't disappoint you.  I've been around as long as you, and I can count the number of NCNS's and bad experiences in the the hobby on one hand.  I use TER and M&G's almost exclusively as my source for meeting new ladies, in NY and other areas of the country, and have a near perfect success rate when doing so.  The problem you are experiencing is not the norm.

As for the recent mixer, I have noting but great things to say.  The hosts did their usual exceptional job in bringing us all together, and I have nothing but praise for them.  Unlike you, I was not disappointed at the end of the evening.  I booked an overnight with my ATF weeks in advance, and we had a mutual lady friend join us for some three-way fun after we left.  Sorry to hear that you couldn't arrange to do likewise....

Given the high level of cynicism your post displays, maybe you need to step back and take a breather.  Telling providers that you making appointments with that you expect them to ultimately disappoint you is not the best way to hobby, man!

That's quite a rant!  I cancel if I know I am not up to par for what I charge. With travel, food that one eats when she travels and who knows what else in my personal life, things happen.

I would much rather be honest and say that I am exhausted from a long flight or yadayadayada than make a horrible first impression and lose a great client who could have been a regular source of income, fun and knowledge for YEARS than try to make a quick dollar.
But then that's just me, I believe in client retention. I also am quite forgiving for lateness and the personal obligations of my clients. I understand that I am not necessarily number one in their lives...but I like to be for an hour or two

This is a business but it's not an impersonal business. Sort of ironic considering the circumstances but it isn't. It's deeply personal and intimate. Also illicit for lack of a better word. Maybe the plumber arrived, maybe her sister came over unannounced, you never know.  If it's done with tact and notice, maybe forgive, if not, move on, no harm no foul.  You aren't out hard earned money on a canceled date, but if it's a terrible date because she's a million miles away and SHOULD have canceled, different story. No refund policy exists to my knowledge!

BB

Dude, what i said was a reminder that if an appointment isn't happening it shouldn't be that hard for the provider to let the hobbyist know. and it's better for business if the provider does that. yes i have 53 reviews and have drastically slowed down because of this practice, check the number of recent reviews-do some research. one maybe in the last four months.
i said nothing against the mixer and in fact praised TBM and TTO. i made a point about "another" hobbyist supposedly pulling a no show and the provider complaining about it in a thread after the mixer. please read the post correctly.
that's great you have had such wonderful luck with providers not no showing, but there are more things in heaven and earth Horatio...
finally maybe telling another hobbyist to step back and take a breather and how one should hobby isn't the best way to state one's argument

as i recall i emailed you about an appointment the first time you were to visit nyc and never received a follow up  to the email until your second or third trip to nyc. i have to say by then i had removed your email address from my address book and the email ended up in the spam folder where it was deleted. there could have been any number of reason for the initial email not being answered i understand that but since it wasn't initially answered and there was such a long time delay before any further contact i no longer had any interest.  i'm saying that procedures, practices and circumstances set up an expectation even in such an instance for future considerations on making an appointment. Not receiving a reply for so long and then to get basically an email out of nowhere just took the sails out of any desires to answer the email.

It was the post you referred to re: the controversy after the party.  If it's still active, please point it out.

As I said, I have nothing but positive memories after this particular event, so my judgment may be a bit clouded.  The one thing that was reinforced was that the best way to go if you are planning to leave with someone at the end is to book in advance, and to book long.  

I stand by my point about being negative with the ladies when booking appointments, i.e., that you expect them to back out.  The hobby is supposed to be fun, and putting up a happy face would seem to be the best approach to doing so.  Negative expectations lead to negative outcomes...