Look I undersstnd it is everyone's right not to see whomever they don't want to see, but I booked a session with Kyla today and was turned down at the door.  I checked her website last night and even called her and then today I booked the appt.   To my surprise after traveling downtown I was told to check the website because she does not see men of color.  I search her website a least a day or so ago and it was not on her website under FAQ..She obvioulsy changed her website to say this after the fact.  She text me multiple times to say check the website which I dis when I got home and it was altered to finally say this.  Again I don't care if she does not see me(there is too many providers in NYC) but the obnoxious tone to her text messages were not needed.  It is odd to see a women of color (at least that is what she is whether she believes it or not) turn down other men of color.  I respect her decision but don't go and change the website after that fact and say it was on the website that she did not see men of color and I traveled from Midtown down to see her and got turned away.  At least I hope everyone is professional (both providers and clients).

Happy Hunting

There could be all types of reasons why she made the choice. Well at least she has it posted on her site.

In a city further south of New York City there was a provider who was married to a Black guy. She had to end up paying child support to guy. As a result she did not want to see any black guys.

Several providers (ebony and Korean) that I saw last year, would never see black men (a few years ago when they first started). Overtime they took some chances and meet some decent ones and decided see black men on a regular basis.

There is one ebony provider that I saw 4 years ago. I found out this weekend she does not see black men anymore.

It was not on there over the past weekend that she did not see men of color..I think today was the first day it was posted.  It must of sucked to travel to her and get turned down but thatt;s life in this business.

the list could go on and on.

REALLY this is not a racist comment.  But if you compare safety in terms of color, can you name any black serial killers?  

Ask the victims of the aforementioned men if they felt safe around a white guy or a black guy.  They fell for it and look what happened.

My only problem is that yesterday it was not on her website under FAQ's..she had only 3 FAQ's if anyone remembers then today there are 6 FAQ's stating she does not see men of color....She texted me a few times while I am standing at her hotel door to say check the website...I think this is pretty childish, but whatever. until next time everyone...

Happy hunting

but if I were in your shoes I too would be disappointed not that I couldn't be seen (ok, well maybe a little) but the manner in which I found out.  I would imagine if I had been you and gotten to the door and was denied that I would feel very insulted. I'm white, so I've never had a problem w/ race but I'm sorry to hear about those that do or anyone who gets turned away in such a manner regardless of the reason.

I guess, if anything, try to take some solace (spelling?) in the fact that now it's on the website for everyone to know and you may have saved a fellow hobbyist from the same fate.

You are not the first man of color...African-American?...to have complained about this on the boards.  If you have been around awhile, you would have seen some of those posts.

I have to ask one question: did you disclose your racial status at anytime before going to meeting?  Given that this is a risk for Men of Color, you should mention this in pre-meeting communications.  I always include racial status in my early communication with provides...and I am white.  It just seems like a good idea to let her beforehand so that you don't run into this BS at the door.

Also, it is surprising that given this problem, why haven't black hobbyists established a BC network so as to avoid this crap?  Maybe one exists (it makes sense), and, if so, you need to tap into it....

That's a complete bush league move.  Sorry to hear what happened.  But look at the bright side.  You helped out a few other guys who would've had the same bad experience and you saved yourself a chunk of change that can be spent on a Quality lady who will enjoy your company.  

Kyla, I'll remember that name as someone to avoid at the spring mixer.

Before this thread, I had added her in my "favorites" list to watch her reviews.  Not anymore.

Period. In fact.. I think the provider should state up front what their personal no-no's are. Why should we have to ask twenty questions? She should also be specific about what "men of color" means. I'm not a mind-reader. Better yet, just say "I only date FILL IN THE BLANK" - easy.

I hope she is reading this thread and learns a thing or two. Why do I doubt that lol.

Who said it was a safety issue? She might not be attracted to black men. I have no idea whether it was on her site before or even what happened that day. But some girls do not put it on their site because of the complaining they will get. If we could all be mature enough to accept race, age, and weight preferences, then this would be easier. I have heard girls say they followed through with an appointment because they didn't want to have an argument like this. It's always good to disclose your race so that she knows beforehand, and not just show up and surprise her.

Yes, I get it.  But let's be honest.  It is not about attraction it is about some stupid bull---- that some people (white and black) have bought into about each other.

I personally don't give a damn if a provider dates black men, white men, purple blue pink orange etc. but have the balls (or in this case clit) to just put it out there on the website.  

It is about safety.  These providers think that black guys are going to do something bad that a white guy would not do.  My point was all those serial killers were white guys.  So how safe would you have been in those situations!

P.S.  Have the balls or clit to not hide behind an alias next time.

He didn't have an issue with her not wanting to see him, it was the way she handled it. If you have preferences - whether it's race, age, weight, etc. - conduct your screening in a way that avoids this type of bullshit where the girl won't even open the door.

I've seen several girls list race as one of the pieces of information they need to screen. In other words, is it asking too much for a lady to handle this in a professional and courteous manner?

By our logic, I should tell ladies upfront that I'm old, fat and ugly. But the truth is, I never think about it, because it's just a part of who I am.

You are wrong, it is NOT a safety issue.

Some have racial preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.
To each their own.

The FAQ's were updated a few days ago. I am not cruel and would not just change it for one single person.

P.S
Due to a extremely recent incident I know longer feel comfortable wit men of color. My personal choice.

I Apologize again for the inconvenience

Kisses
-Kyla

I don't have a problem with her decision...look it is her pu**sy.  All I am saying is that is was handled in a unprofessional manner.  To tell me it is on the website and I checked the night before our appt. then get home and see it is changed was unprofessional...As soon as she made the decision not to see men of color then she should of posted it then. Not wait until someone waits outside her hotel for 15 minutes in the freezing (and traveling on my lunch break from midtwon) cold then get a text while I am standing at the door looking like an idiot that she will not see me.  Just be upfront don't change the website after the fact then keep texting me stating that I am arguing with her and I never said anything in my text to her but I did not see it on your site.

Happy Hunting

Being biracial, I feel deeply sympathetic to the struggles that people of color experience.

I hope you are safe.

Sorry that you had to go through with that bro.  I've had something similar happen to me too.  Not pleasant but, eh.  It is what it is and there are plenty of fish out there.

So ummmmmm I guess if you have a bad encounter with a white guy you're you'll have to quit the biz all together right?

You got the right to see who you want and I have the right to think it's pretty shallow hold a bad experience with one person against every guy walking the planet who happends to have the same skin color.

But whatever.........NEXT!!!

Like many of you, I am apalled by this incident. It would be different if the guy missed the info on her website, but it was totally wrong for her to cancel the appointment after he arrived. Heck, HE should be compensated for the inconvenience! If it was the other way aound (he cancelled on her when she arrived) he could possibly be on the hook for some kind of fee or face reprocussions (black listed on provider board, harrassing calls, etc).

And what the heck is a black woman saying she doesn't see black guys?? Is that reverse discrimination? I thought all this kind of crap was corrected with our new president!!

Well, this is one 'woman of color' that's off my radar, now.

It's ridiculous to suggest that the onus is on the client to communicate their race in case this is a problem for the provider. Should the gentlemen also include details of their weight, marital status and shoe size in the initial email in case these are a turn-off for the lady? Where does the list of personal information the client must mention to avoid this type of scenario end?

Given that we girls are advertising ourselves as being available to those who can pay for our time - and that, in general, we set the rules for how, where and with whom we will do business - the onus should be on the lady to state these conditions up front. This is the most practical solution, as well as the most reasonable. Expecting a gentleman to communicate an exhaustive list of random information about himself in case there is anything that might be a no-no for the provider is insane.

Stripclubaddict, if you wish to erase this bad experience from your memory I would be more than happy to see you.

This is what I'm talking about. It's their preference  and your guilting them on that. This is why they don't post it and incidents happen. Black ladies have the same rights, they have their own preferences. This is very intimate! It's preference not discrimination.

She could have had a previous boyfriend who was black that might have been stalker her. He could have used another guy to set up an appointment and then when she showed up her stalker boyfriend is there.

Sorry that you were turned away but I would love the chance to meet you . I embrace diversity  and respect all people as individuals.

No one is knocking her preface per say- what made this post so alarming is how the guy was treated. There are plenty of girls that don't see 'men of color'. The fact that this guy showed up and was dismissed without warning is inexcusable.

After that - just the same as she expresses she doesn't like 'men of color' for whatever` reason - I express that I don't like the way she exibits blatant racism. I mean, if she has a bad experience with a white guy she won't see all white guys??

Oh... how does she feel about fat guys? Or guys with missing limbs? Or how about guys with grotesk scars? Why only point out that she doesn't see black guys (I'm assuming that's what she means by 'people of color').

And why the heck do you seem so inclined to defend this woman?!

Bless you, Brooke! Have to save up a little $$ to see you again soon!

TA-

It sounds like all people love you, too! You're a sweetie!

I just want to make it clear that I wil no longer see any providers that are over 6'5" tall because of a bad expeience I had when the Bobcats beat my Lakers (again!). So, much like this Kyla chick I'm holding my experience against all excessively tall providers!

(Look - if she can make up some bullsh*t to rationalize her racist views I can be just as silly! At least I have the decency to post it before inconveniencing anyone...)

So it is written...

Some of you folks amaze me. Worshipping at the altar of political correctness or even racial pride, some of feel entitled to tell Kyla, and maybe even all woc that they MUST see Black men ?
It appears that some of these same people also feel it is their place to dictate who she sees in her private life and maybe even whether it's O.K. for her to marry outside her race.

Her attitude is NOT unique and it can be a problem for black hobbyists. There are a number of providers of all races and backgrounds who are not comfortable seeing Black men and prefer not too.

Afaic the ONLY issue of "professionalism" is that she could have and should have made it clear BEFORE the gentleman in question made the appt. and came to her door.

The good news is that there are plenty of other providers who are more than happy to see MOC.

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=114866&boardID=18

After giving some thought, I regret my original post and feel it was wrong of me to criticize Kyla for not wishing to see black clients.

If her policy was not clearly started on her web site then, for that error,  the client in question deserves an apology and perhaps a  complimentary reference assuming he passed her screening process minus the color issue.

As a black hobbyist myself it's easy to let my emotions get the best of me on issues concerning race. However in this case I think it's more a matter of personal choice rather than race. Clients should see who they wish to see and providers should book who they wish to book. We all have our own personal preferences. It's not up to us to judge why some choose who they choose.

You say you respect her preference…. What should  she have done seen the guy literally open her self to the guy?? Why just because  he showed up? That is absurd   I agree that was a hard thing to have had happen to any one. And you are not using the right word to describe what she is doing. She is not hating anyone or calling herself superior. She is simply saying she don’t see blk men  Where is the racist I really think you seem to have a axe to grind and it has nothing to do with  Kayla. What is your own personal preference in women that does that mean that the ones you choose not to see you hate?  So witch are you ?
A racist or a guy that has a personal preference in providers. Just a thought Livie.


-- Modified on 1/31/2009 7:09:21 PM