what's the deal w/providers & references? I mean, r we interviewing for a job or what?  references from where?  would anyone really call a fave provider and instead of setting up an appt. ask them to vouch for to some other provider they don't even know?  ARKWARD!  have any of u guys done it?  if so, it seems like a pain.  please opine.  thanks.

The women I see aren't exclusive to me and they don't expect me to be exclusive to them.  Just about every woman I have ever seen has been fine with being a reference.

It's much better than giving out dangerous information like my home number or my employer.

I assume that they want to know if you are a nice guy or a serial killer....or LE...who knows!!

Which would you prefer?

To provide a reference or White List referral from someone you've seen...

Or endure invasive personal screening with work information, corporate mail, full legal name etc.?

References are an honor system that many reputable TER-related providers participate in.  We give to the system without hesitation or "awkwardness" because it returns to us 10-fold in the form of the references that we seek to supplement our business and leave our clients content and relatively anonymous (if the provider finds this acceptable).

No, you're not interviewing for a job but you are asking to be invited into the personal space of a woman who you could overpower and attack, rob or kill- we are cognizant of this (or at least providers who value the quality of their lives do) and we act accordingly.

There are plenty of providers who are willing to exchange risk for a fast buck but you can't fault or antagonize the ones who do not.

You're a reviewer, I suggest you contact the providers you have reviewed and request that they White List you via TER to begin.

First, genius, providers are putting themselves at inherent risk EVERYTIME they agree to see a new client. They have absolutely no idea as to the character, demeanor, legitimacy, temperament, professionalism or craziness of the man they are about to spend intimate time with. They have to protect the only person who matters at the moment; themselves. To that end, yes, references are necessary and paramount to their safety. At least if they can verify from one or two other ladies that the hobbyist they are about to see paid his full donation and did not cause any harm or trouble, during or after the session, it provides peace of mind to some degree as the session unfolds.

It’s a one way street. You, as the hobbyist, do not need to call up any provider to get a reference on another lady that you want to see. (That’s what the reviews are for). Please don’t try and argue that hobbyists face the same inherent risks about seeing a lady for the first time. We don’t. Yes, a provider could be crazy and try and to do you harm...but the number of instances of this happening pale in comparison to hobbyists who harm providers.

So yes, references are necessary. You are interviewing to make that lady want to spend time with you. It's not your god given right to spend time with any provider; it’s her discretion to allow you to do so. If it’s such a pain in the ass to provide a reference for the provider to see you, then don't hobby.

dear fellow genius: i have hobbied satisfactorily w/o references thank u very much.  it's just asking a provider to vouch for me, while doable strikes me as arkward.  after all, what's in it for her?

-- Modified on 12/3/2008 12:09:15 PM

What's "in it" for a lady who provides a reference? Two fold:

1. By providing a reference at the request of a hobbyist the lady is hoping you appreciate her time and effort in helping you see another lady that, when the opportunity presents itself, you will see her again in the future. Its good business

2. By providing a reference to another provider, the lady who gave the reference is hopeful that when she requires a reference in return other providers in the "community" will do the same for her.

We are a tight knit community; we have to watch out for one another. References provide some peace of mind for all involved. It may be awkward to ask for a reference, but it’s necessary and paramount.

If you have hobbyied extensively without the need to provide a reference, then continue to see the ladies you do. It obviously has worked for you, so no need to worry or change your approach.

all references i use


if you can't trust a provider....who can you trust?

Hi Hardy; Who made you boss?

I cant seriously believe that a hobbyist is asking why the fuck we need references!!! That is insane!!! Do you watch the news?? You expect us to open our doors to just anyone??? Think again!!! I may not ask you your social or home # but lets be realistic here. It baffles my that you even wonder why we would do this..

This post really angers me, you know EVERYTHING about me when you walk in my door.. The only thing I ask is who can vouch for you!! And you wanna be a prick?? Let it be known this post is NOT about me, but if you DO come to me, you better have some references bc Im NOT trying to die today, OK!!!!!



Nuff Said

LB





-- Modified on 12/3/2008 1:16:12 PM

Well put, LB.  I have a couple of providers that give me good references.  It's a necessary part of the game, but can be a difficult hurdle for noobs to get over (having no prior provider experience).  I had to adjust whom I wanted to visit when I first started because the girl I wanted to see insisted on references.  Such is life.
My only real hiccup with screening came after I had posted a review of a girl in which I mentioned that she was great, just not my type (and thus, not a repeat for me).  She kept my info for some reason and began to email, text and call me incessantly until I pulled my review.  But, that's been the exception to otherwise pain-free screening/referencing.

Does that mean I have to be nice too? Lol

If I do a search of lolo's posts I find most of them to be sort of related in someway to this one .
I am sorry Lolo I don't mean to be a prick but if it isn't what you don't want to disclose it's what you don't want to pay if it isn't what you don't want to pay it's someone questioning you as to if you are in fact LE after which you dissapeared for a short time...
If it isn't that it is you swearing you are around awhile . The search reveals your sort of green actually I have some trouble getting my hands around some of your posts and the leading way you try to recruit support for your cause on any given day . Thoughtfully, Kendall

is wrong with you??? Kendall is right on the money. Oops sorry, money is another sore subject for you. What are you going to bitch about tomorrow? You'd probably complain if you were hung with a new rope!!!

You don't need to get laid. You need to get a new hobby. Try coin collecting. Oops sorry, that money thing again.

Samm, you are so cute when you are mad
You are also so correct.

Kendall, you can be as bad or mean as you want.
I will dole out the appropriate punishment later.

We really are a community and it's important to look out for each other.

I for one appreciate when my favorite ladies vouch for me, for they're really giving ME a good review!

Kraig

Some of us have two hobbies!  And the best part of about collecting old, obsolete money...it doesn't lose value, unlike that %?&@$*!~# stock market!

I'm sorry but any provider that bitches about providing references for good customers is just being selfish. Hobbyists refer their friends and write positive reviews every day. It is simple reciprocity and common courtesy for providers to provide references for clean, respectful and considerate gentlemen.Almost every provider I've seen GLADLY provided me with references. Failure to do so screams : " Selfish, inconsiderate and INSECURE ! ".

You are on this board and don;t know, or understand the need for references?
Maybe it's over your head, but I don;t see someone just because he can pick up a phone and call me.
You also smell of bacon to me........

I agree this hobby may be out of your league and more than you can comprehend...oh sorry, that means more than you can understand.

If even the basics of legitimacy and safety is over your head I think you should just hang it all up now.  ( another troll right?)

"what goes around comes around"...     OR
"one good deed begets another"....

we give each other references in hopes that others will do the same for us.   Providers, for the most part, watch each others backs.  None of us want to see someone else hurt, abused, or arrested.  I feel as though my fellow providers and I are involved in a bit of a sisterhood.   Just as the hobbyists watch out for each other, so do providers.

edit:  i didn't know I was on the NY board...thought I hit MN...oops...but my opinion still stands as is!!!

-- Modified on 12/4/2008 10:53:27 AM

i have to thank those of you who participated, positively, in the discussion of references.  it's generated the most responses of any post i've made.  often, in a board, it can seem as if one is communicating into some dark void with no hope of receiving a response.  but i was impressed by the amount of responses generated and the sophisticated and thoughtful responses by some hobbyists and providers alike.  i have one further question regarding references that's kind of chicken & egg: how do u get a ref. if all u see r those who will only see u if u have a ref?  all positive, thoughtful responses welcome.

now, for a few other issues i find it unfortunate to have to answer:

1.  for the LAST time:  I...AM...NOT...LE!  Sheeze, if i was, my cover was blown long by now!  u paranoid freaks who persist in raising the issue really need to take a chill.  like the song says "PARANOIA WILL DESTROY YA!"

2.  for u super sensitive freaks:  why is it that simply raising an issue causes u to go into a hissy fit and make things personal w/juvenile insults?!?!  either pro or con, baby.  save the drama for your mama, or just shut off the PC.  this IS America, u know freedom of speech, and what not.  just so u know, the original concept behind freedom of speech was to protect speech we may NOT agree with.  we can be free to disagree w/o all the name calling.  i mean, this IS a board meant for adult discussion, right?

3.  finally, for those of who protest raising certain topics as either stupid or unnecessary?  go f%#K yourselves!  I'm sorry, who in TER management elected u monitor?!?!  are u shitting me, with all the stupid postings i've seen that are no where near hobbying like "where do i get a good meal" or "i have tickets for billy joel?"  and u guys think my topic is off base?!?!  SAVE IT!!!

THIS IS A BOARD, WHERE ALL MESSAGES, POPULAR OR NOT, "STUPID" OR NOT, SHOULD BE WELCOME AS LONG AS THEY STAY WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF "COSA NOSTRA. ANYBODY GOT A PROBLEM W/THAT: JUST DON'T PARTICIPATE IN THE DISCUSSION.  DON'T DEGRADE MY RIGHT TO MAKE A POST, LEST U FACE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE!  

til next time (sorry for going on so long.  i'll try to keep it brief in the future.  much thanks to those who had my back)

First, as stated, the references really are for the safety and piece of mind of the ladies. That is first and foremost, and can't be emphasized enough.

As for not having any references to start out with, you can remedy that by becoming a member of one or more of the verification sites, such as Date-Check or Preferred411. They are inexpensive, you only have to give out your personal information once, and they are just chocked full of beautiful women who only require that you have been verified through the site. After you have seen a few ladies, you'll have all the references that you need, as long as you treat them right and are clean and a gentleman.

It's really quite simple.

You are right, it's just part of the game.  

Most ladies don't ask for much in the way of screening.  But if you're not willing to give 100 percent of what they ask for, you really don't have a leg to stand on.

No, you're not interviewing for a job, but you are asking a provider to share her body with you.  All things considered, asking for some verification that you're not going to harm/arrest her isn't too much to ask IMHO.  To be honest, it is telling that you don’t even consider what a provider has to risk.  It’s almost dehumanizing how little regard you have.

I don't expect my clients to be loyal (after all, if they wanted a gf they'd have one right?).  At the end of the day, a happy client is a good client.  I am very willing to give references, and I think most girls worth their salt will also.

As for the LE threat- you can't be serious.  I guess the busts that happen, ALL THE TIME, are just figments of our imaginations?

It is about risk vs. reward.  I have given it a lot of thought- I could probably see a 140% increase in clients if I didn't screen but that has two serious draw backs.  The first, I don't want to have that kind of volume.  The second, applicable to our discussion, is the risk factor.  The amount of money a lady “could” make by not screening is going to evaporate if she gets arrested.  In addition to the court costs, an attorney and fines...reputational damage is huge.  It just isn't worth the risk to gamble.  How about the worst case scenario, she is murdered by a client?  Predators prey on working women for a reason, they are easy pickings.  A woman’s statistical chance of encountering such a man is small, admittedly, but then again- it only takes one crazy to end her life doesn’t it?  I am thinking that extra $200-$1,200/hr would look just about worthless at that point…

Then again, I love to play poker, so I guess I think about probability and payoff more than most.

M
M

special thanks to hungry and thick red for constructive, informative posts, something i find rare on this board.  extra special thanks to u, hungry!  i'll have to look into these verification sites u mentioned when i get back into the game on the regular.  the economy is FORCING me to cut back, as i'm sure it is for most people.  did i read right, that u can also find providers on these sites?  much oblige

I just want to point out how ridiculous this rant is:

As a client, I really know almost nothing about you compared to what many providers insist on knowing about me. I don't know your real name, your day-job employer (if you have one), a phone number where you can be reached outside of  your hobbying activities or a reference from one of your clients. Furthermore, I have no assurance that any of my personal information will be kept private or erased after our meeting. I don't really know whether I'll be ripped off when I see  you. So, you see, I really know very little about you compared to what you insist on knowing about me.