The best is when one of those girls emails YOU for a reference. That's why I started taking employment verification because of that.

Replying to reference requests helps all of us! It's a great way to assist the gentleman while letting another girl know she's safe, and in turn I can count on other ladies to do the same for me when I request a reference from another girl.

Me too...Always happy to give a reference...even if i only saw the client once..I beleive we have to help out each other!  
B

Well Molly, as a hobbyist, I would hope the ladies I ask to be a reference for me would respond timely.   That said, if you are going to plagiarize from someone else's ads for your own, don't be surprised if few ladies decide not to reply to your reference requests....  Just sayin...  

-- Modified on 4/10/2014 2:25:43 PM

I've never liked the policy of some providers of "Yes, I'll be happy to provide a good reference for you, but only if you get in touch with me first".  Now I can understand this, if the client has only seen the provider once, and might not actually remember the client.  But if I'm a repeat customer, I don't know why I'm supposed to email my ongoing provider and ask if she's ok giving a good reference.  Word-of-mouth has always been the ultimate form of advertising--and in this case, that works both ways, as women advertise their services, and men "advertise" their favorite ladies.  Maybe a "heads-up" email is common courtesy ("Just to let you know, you might expect to be getting a reference request from 'Shmaviera Shmollander" in the next day or two")--but not a "please, may I use you as a reference?" type email--I think that's kind of an implied part of the business of the business, right along with the envelope.

And Yeah, there's always the concern about cock-blocking.  If I'm asked for two or three references, there are times I'll choose to use a provider whom I've seen regularly for years (even if not quite so frequently of late), rather than someone newer/more recently seen, just because sometimes it's hard to tell who might be  jealously "guarding their turf".

which I suppose is reasonable.  But how about when guys ask me back channel about her?  Should I say sorry, I only do it for one year?  Which btw I would not do.

We all need to stick together and support each other when it comes to providing references. That being said, I can screen you even faster other ways.  

I have learned the providers who ask the gents to contact them first want to be sure he is actually asking for the reference. Or at least that is what I have been told. My solution to this is to send the reference request to her and cc it to him. I address both her and him in my email asking her for the reference and asking him to please verify my request. Simple stuff. :

BUT.... the gentlemen MUST contact me first, you can not just randomly use me randomly without permission or i will not respond to anything. Its courtesy to me, if your going to use my name and someone is supposed to contact me, let me know prior to that and get the approval to give my info. I am not reference friendly for everyone, but regular friends, of course. If i seen u once and didn't in a year and i get a random request for a reference, i usually ignore it, not because i don't want a girl to make money but i have rules to how i do things and who i give references for and who i didn't care for or don't remember to be able to give the reference.

Most girls in NYC are very reference friendly and have each other's backs. You shouldn't have a problem....unless there was/is problem...

I'm happy to say that I've never had any issues with providers giving me decent references. And I think a big part of this is I've always tried to select providers who present themselves as professional and aboveboard. I believe you can tell an awful lot about a provider by her web-site content as well as how she corresponds to you prior to the rendezvous. If she's professional in these areas no reason to think she wouldn't continue being a professional with regards to references--ultimately it falls under the category of doing things the right way. True pros in ANY field always strive to conduct themselves properly and with ethical standards!

He was gross or horrible and I do not want it to get back to him if he is a heavy poster

when we vouch for you.  There have been guests who after a yr or more develop a differing view on how to treat a lady friend in this industry, it has happened to me where I provided good reference a couple years out and the lady was beaten and robbed.  He was fine for me but she of course wrung me out about it, and I felt so bad.  Took time before I realized that there was nothing else I could have done but told her to seek a more current reference.  

Most don't appreciates a copycat... just sayin'

Make sure when you ask for references that the lady isnt away or on holidays. The rason I say this is because for example at the moment I am away for a bit and clearly stated this simple fact on my schedule page on my website and yet people still email and call me.  

Exactly right--to me this is part of the business. Giving proper references helps the client AND the provider--which ultimately is good for the hobby as a whole. In fact, when a client posts a review he is, in effect, providing a reference which is TER's raison d' etre. So it benefits EVERYONE involved in the hobby to take this aspect of the business seriously.

I would have to say at least 95% of the reference requests i have requested are always answered . I appreciate if when some one is requesting a reference from me they include the link to their website so i can see that they are legit. I believe in karma and what goes around comes around. I am giving the reference as much as to help my client as to help a fellow provider.So even if a client has not seen me for awhile i will give them a request.  

This is a subject that invariably seems to pop up in some form every so often.  And technically there really isn't a "right" answer--I just feel that providers should make the effort to give HONEST references when asked. I agree that just because a client has written a glowing review about someone doesn't necessarily entitle him "carte-blanche" to a positive reference. Personally, I like to keep all of my activity within the hobby community (P411, TER, etc) for privacy reasons and references are very important for me as a way of opening doors for future possibilities. I had a very bad experience one time giving out my personal info and I vowed I'd never do it again. So references and vetting services like P411 are really my lifeline in this hobby as I would guess they are for a lot of guys!!

...while it's a pain in the ass if an indy lady or an agency doesn't ever reply that's OKAY. It's rude but it's okay because references are not the be all end all of how I screen. It does suck for the client and if a lady is NOT reference friendly she should tell him when he goes to see her so he doesn't waste his time or the next provider's by using her.  9 times out of 10 when someone doesn't respond it's a sad attempt cash-block the next provider and pussy-block the client.

.... i'd rather someone still respond and tell me they don't remember him or lol tell me he if he was safe w/ any unflattering details she feels are need to know. If someone is gross (guessing bad hygiene) i'd like to know that too.

If they are seeing you post on a fk board when you're on vacation they probably figure it's ok to email you for a reference. I think it's always a good idea to have an auto response like you said though... saved my life many times from bothering to respond to complete idiots.

IMHO the providers that deliberately ignore reference requests in an attempt to "sabotage" the booking fit the unprofessional label to a tee!!Thankfully, I believe that this type of behavior is the exception, not the rule. Well established providers who are secure in themselves and have a strong following don't need to resort to this type of unethical business practice.

I was answered "no comment" in response to a client reference recently which to me is just rude. References are for our safety so it's quite sad when a provider gets jealous. doesn't make sense anyway because the relationship is a fantasy not reality! Most of these men already have their wives at home.

agreed, but I have also experienced a sort of jealous reaction, in response to the request. Same for reviews.