There is a provider who I was scheduled to see for a second time. First time went great no issues.  

A couple days before our appointment I got an email from her saying "apologies but something urgent has come up that will take me out of the game for a couple weeks or months" and she had to cancel our appointment.  

Two weeks later I got an email from her that she will be visiting NYC and asked if I wanted to reschedule.  

I rescheduled but asked her if it was health related, to which I got no response, just a response to the reschedule date. What is a nice way for me to ask if she is healthy and STD free? That would be the main concern. She is a great provider and would love to see her.  

Any advice would be appreciated - thanks in advance!

[You are a client scheduled to see a provider] for a second time. First time went great no issues.  
   
 A couple days before our appointment [you sent her an email] saying "apologies but something urgent has come up that will take me out of the game for a couple weeks or months" and [you] had to cancel our appointment.  
   
 Two weeks later [you sent her an email saying that you] will be visiting NYC and asked if [she] wanted to reschedule.  
   
[She] rescheduled but asked [you] if it was health related.

_______________

Um, there are a lot of reasons she'd need to take a break. Other job opportunity, a romantic relationship, school workload, stalker, divorce case, child custody case. A sick relative, impromptu travel, burnout.  

How would you feel if she asked/assumed the same thing?

It's really none of your business why she took off. If she wants to tell you about it when you two meet, then she will. If not, don't press her to explain her personal life or you'll likely put her on the defensive.

If you really feel that you can't trust her, or won't relax enough to enjoy the session...then don't book with her... but please realize that she likely found it insulting that you automatically assumed that it was STD-related.  

Personally, that wouldn't be one of the top 5 things that would occur to me if I heard that a provider was taking a sudden break... Besides, what STD necessitates a break for a few weeks/months

If I took a break for some reason, and a dude asked me (with palpable paranoia/whorephobia) if it were for "health reasons" I'd feel insulted. Plain and simple. I probably wouldn't answer, either.

I agree that it's not an unreasonable request. If I were asked nicely, I don't think I'd be insulted - but, I'd likely wonder if he wanted bare services, or something. So that might turn me off. Plus, I'd ask for his (fair is fair. There is risk for me, too).  

Random fact: I actually used to be a member of one of those apps where you can share STD results. One reason I stopped was because no one ever asked to see them. Not sure why that is.  

 


-- Modified on 8/21/2016 4:00:51 PM

"Hi Provider XXx. I'm so looking forward to seeing you during your next visit at this date and time:XXX. I just wanted to touch base with you about your health. #1 Are you okay? #2 Is your health issue/scare in any way able to effect the time we spend together? You don't need to share many details, just safety of course is my number 1 priority. Can't wait to see you, and let me know when you can.

Thanks for the responses! Much appreciated.  

To be clear, I've already seen this provider and I'm completely respectful and have no interest in anything bareback. I think what alarmed me was that she worded it "something urgent has come up that will keep me out of the hobby for a couple weeks to a month" which sounded like something health related. If she alluded to having to cancel due to personal reasons and left it at that, I don't think I would have issues.  

Really appreciate the advice from everyone who responded!

Ask her for STD comprehensive panels early detection testing.
That all  

if you both enjoyed each other and have basic human connection - you are very willing to resolve it/
 better to ask and manage YOUR way then seat and freak out.

I am sure - if she is clean and healthy and motivated to meet you - she will comply.

Gentlemen - when they do pay money have rights to ask what they want .
 
yet is you are asking something - be sure you be able do the same.

14- 21 days no dangeroues sex activities - as sex with high volume sex workers / high volume johns  

STD testing for both  and have fun.  

But as you say here in states  
"do not write checks your ass can t cash"

So be ready to undergo all what she will ask you to do as well she may be asking the same questions about you - as you are known to see sex workers.  
How she would know you are STD free

You either accept her request or decline.  Her health is something you judge when you get there.  If you have reason to feel uncomfortable with seeing any lady, best advice is not to.

"What is a nice way for me to ask if she is healthy and STD free? "

How would you verify her answer?