I just wanted to put something out there. I have had a good repertoire with most providers I have had the pleasure of seeing. Now with that said I would never ask on the first date for any OTC anything. I would definitely ask after I am sure that there is some kind of connection with her and take it from there. Thanks for all the feedback it is all greatly appreciated.
I was just curious about this and thought I would bring it up. Is it crossing a line if I invite a provider out for a drink or two after our session if I really feel a connection with her? Mind you this is without being charged for a "dinner date" or anything like that. It would just be a man and a woman going out for a drink or dinner if you are so inclined. As for the providers would you accept this invitation from the client or would you charge them for a "dinner date"? This is open to both hobbyists and providers alike to chime in.
It's almost definitely not appropriate to ask someone after a first session no matter how well you think you hit it off. Remember, whether she likes you or not, it's her job to make you feel like she does. So it can put awkward pressure on her to have to deal with and turn down such an invitation.
I have had drinks, and meals with ladies that were not paid dates. However, these were women I had seen many times and we had developed friendships aside from our business relationships. Usually it was they who asked me if I wanted to get a bite or a drink.
I've had the great honor of enjoying dinner, drinks and / or just hang out quality time with some fantastic ladies.
You never know when this kind of thing is going to happen.
These kind of opportunities just seem to happen organically. When I meet with gals, I'm just friendly me. I don't put on any phony personality. I guess my demeanor has helped to open the doors to getting to know these great gals on a different level. I'm always grateful, humble and appreciative when encounters turn into something more.
-nycad
I have had drinks, and meals with ladies that were not paid dates. However, these were women I had seen many times and we had developed friendships aside from our business relationships. Usually it was they who asked me if I wanted to get a bite or a drink.
Have you read her site? You see the time increments on her site? 1 hour, 2 hour, 3 hour? Maybe one of the options even says 'Cocktail Date'.
'Nuff said.
We get asked this *all the time*. Will you find one who will do it? Maybe. Some girls do this with regulars. But personally, it's a pet peeve of mine: clients who book the shortest date WITH THE EXPRESS INTENTION to try to get me to stay longer, without paying. Like, a client books a 1-hour date and *just coincidentally* noticed a nice restaurant around the corner and put his name in for after the session, would I like to join him? It's like...if he wants a dinner date, did he not see the blatant "dinner date" option on my site? I know he did, and I'll make my excuses. I have stuff to do.
It's ALWAYS more respectful to just pay for enough time to include everything you want, rather than trying to finagle drinks or dinner as a freebie. This is true even if you are a regular and are "cool" with her. Remember, she does this *for a living* and has other obligations. So treat her time/business accordingly. How would you like it if your boss said, "Well, since you like working for me so much and have nothing better to do, why don't you stay after work with me in the office for 3 hrs while we shoot the breeze."
Granted, some girls will say yes (maybe to try to keep you coming back as a regular). Some girls are "cool" with their regulars and have that kind of arrangement with them. But it's always more courteous to assume you WILL have to pay and be told otherwise rather than try to finagle.
I'll sometimes ask a girl to have a drink with me before our session.....some girls are open to it, although i understand that many girls have a tight schedule....there are some who i am friendly enough with that they will have dinner with me....i think a guy is lucky when he has that type of relationship with a lady.....those type of friendships are hard to cultivate....but definitely fun if you do.
I've offered this on different occasions- sometimes if they don't have other appointments they take me up on it- drink or meal- never pay extra for this- but it depends and doesn't hurt to ask
You prefaced it by saying if you "feel a connection with her." Thats the key. There are some ladies that are just flower children types, go with the flow types, if the moment grabs them, they do it. Others are more rigid and strict about p4p for everything.
Every woman and situation is different. After a while, you get pretty good at determining who will likely take you up and who will say no by your email/phone correspondence and by how the evening progresses during the p4p part. If she likes you/trusts you and has free time, many will say yes.
Some of most memorable times have been off the clock. One time a lady let me stay overnight with her otc as I was her dinner date and we got back to her incall at 10 pm for the "fun". We were both in a heap of sweat and exhausted from a great meal, a long walk in the city and vigorous sex and alcohol and she said I was more than welcome to spend the night. We stayed up for hours telling stories, watching a movie, etc. When I offered to pay her something, she said "it was on her". I took her to breakfast the next morning, gave her a huge tip and we still email each other about how much fun we had that night and we only saw each other once!
Just dont ever expect it or pressure the lady in any way. Its awesome when it happens though. Go for it. The worst she can do is say no. You and her will both get over it if she does.
nycad
I think BPM said it well. I have had several experiences similar to his.
This is a ymmv situation. I have done this a few times. There has to be a connection, and you've got to be able to tell if it's there. Like an earlier poster said, the girls are paid to make us think they like us.
If the session was fun, with lots of laughs, and there was an obvious comfort level, at the end of the date why not say, "Thanks for visiting me, it was great fun. I am going down to the bar for a drink, you are more than welcome to join me". Maybe she'll say yes, maybe not. If not, give her a kiss goodbye, and wish her well.
No lines crossed.
As some have said, if you really want this make it clear up front and pay for it. That said, you can also just play it by ear. In every case where I've had OTC drinks/dinner after the date it's been because the girl asked me, not the other way around. In one case she dropped a couple of big hints. First she said, "I'm starving." The she added, "This is my last appointment of the day." So I asked her to dinner. Most recently, a gal I'd just spent a wonderful 2 hours with said she had a few hours before her next appointment and would I like to go to an early dinner. Had a great time. Also gave her advice on what to wear for her next date, who was a friend of mine. Point being, you've got to go with the flow, pick up cues and just let what happens happen. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. Bottom line, it's up to her unless you pay for her time.
I really depends on the provider and whether she feels "a connection". I would say more times than not, you got caught up in her performance.
There are many providers that are really good at what they do they can make you feel like you are the only guy that can make them cum and the only guy that matters... If their reviews are similar to your experience, scratch that off as her being good at what she does.
It doesn't hurt to ask but just remember that many of them go through this type of thing all the time and it can get annoying to them. I do it with a few providers that stand out from the rest and enjoy spending time with them OTC; I've taken some out for a meal, some for drinks, and others on trips. Getting time OTC can sometimes be as simple as asking while others take a little more effort without being creepy.
as one of the other posts said it happens organically... first date or 10th date notwithstanding
i've had this happen many times, though i've never "asked" per se... you know if someone enjoys your company - yes the nature of a transaction complicates it but no more than in my life doing deals with business partners. some i really like as partners, others are partners and part of my personal life.
human relationships of all kind are an art not a science. so if you feel like you gotta ask, well then probably not the type of relationship that has any legs outside the obvious...
What exactly does organically mean in this context? You walk out the door, go down to a bar and poof---she's there? Because if its anything other than that, organic has nothing to do with it.
Give me a break- in this and in the real world, one person makes the first move. Period. Whether its phrased as a question or a statement, someone is making the advance.
i've had this happen many times, though i've never "asked" per se... you know if someone enjoys your company - yes the nature of a transaction complicates it but no more than in my life doing deals with business partners. some i really like as partners, others are partners and part of my personal life.
human relationships of all kind are an art not a science. so if you feel like you gotta ask, well then probably not the type of relationship that has any legs outside the obvious...
I just wanted to put something out there. I have had a good repertoire with most providers I have had the pleasure of seeing. Now with that said I would never ask on the first date for any OTC anything. I would definitely ask after I am sure that there is some kind of connection with her and take it from there. Thanks for all the feedback it is all greatly appreciated.
I have in the past had drinks with a Lady or two after a session. I have also been given the "not unless your paying attitude" for asking the wrong person. 1st impressions usually work both ways and if you are given all the signs to ask, why not. Most providers from agencies get paid by their time with a cut back to the house and unless your willing to pay, better of not asking. Indies are a different story and from my experience they value the opportunity to make a stab at possibly creating a professional relationship that results in a long term relationship (provider/client type). I had one incredible Indie lady insisted that I go for drinks and a bite to eat (my treat) as she had gone straight through from lunch to past 10:00. We ended up keeping in touch for a few years until she left the industry, but in the bigger picture she appreciated that she knew she could enjoy her time with a repeat client friend and take a break from being a desired object. On one of her visits to NYC, we did not connect for an appointment as she was booked solid, but we did go out for a drink one night when she had some time. It all depends on the lady, how genuine you are, and to what end result will come from going out. After she left the industry, she kindly asked that I not call her and we both went on our ways.
I believe in the old system where if you enjoy the company and conversation, there is no harm in asking so long as she has given an indication that she may be interested. Metaphorically, would you ask a stranger on the train, subway or bus to go for drinks just be cause you were standing in each others personal space for a half hour? 9 out of 10 time you wouldn't. But that one time you did cause she smiled several times at you, you had a 50/50 chance of a mutual yes.