New York

Looking to engage a companion for my son
greenbear 18 Reviews 1435 reads
posted

My son is 18 (looks older) and is a virgin. He’s not bad looking, has a good personality, but he went to a small town high school where only 30% of the students were female and about a third of them were gay. The ones he liked had their choices and for some reason favored tall skinny twink-looking boys. My son is 5’10, burly and has a full beard. He is taking a gap year and I think he should have some experience before college. Are there any nice women (GFE) who could show him the ropes? How would I go about arranging this? Usually they ask for verification and I’m not sure how to do that for another person, especially since he has no track record or employment history to speak of. I can pay a fairly high rate.

But still, I wonder if it's the right thing to do considering the influence it could have on his life. Have you discussed it with him?

Sounds like a bad Idea.  You may want to give this another think!

RespectfulRobert74 reads

You said he is only 18. What's the rush? I would suggest you back off this and let him figure it out on his own. If he isnt bad looking and has a good personality like you say, he will be able to find a civie women on his own in due time. You getting involved complicates things and it could turn out badly for all.

In fact, I don't think I lost my virginity until well into my 19th year, but at least I did it on my own. Then, it was "off to the races."
So the OP's post is a nice impulse but a bad idea.

OK. Good advice. He is depressed about it, but an escort might not be the answer. His friends have all been paired up and sexually active since sophomore year.

I didn't have sex for the FIRST time until I was 24.   :)   I also never dated in high school and most of my friends were dating and sexually active as well.  I'm sure he'll "blossom" in his own time.  :)

Atouk65 reads

When I was 18 I had self esteem/confidence issues with mild depression, if my father had done something like you suggest it would have pushed me further down.

I would not do this for my son.  As others have said, there really is no rush. A better idea would be to encourage him to find activities where he could meet young women near his age and with similar interests, especially since he is taking a gap year. Also, is he working? Sometimes a good place to meet women.
Another idea would be an online dating app.

Addicted_to_Sex57 reads

Yeah. Dont do it. I lost my virginity with an escort at age 19 and now ive spent a lifetime addicted to them. Hundreds of them across different continents and before/during otherwise happy marriage (and other relationships).  

I would require to see his ID tho.
But I am very experienced with virgins.

-- Modified on 10/21/2023 11:39:22 AM

Several replies have recommended against doing this at this time.  I've got some random, not necessarily well thought out comments.
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First, I want to point out "changing times," the "me too" movement and awareness, and your son's general attitude towards young women.  
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It USED to be that school or workplace could be a place to get to know people ... even before considering any sort of next step. Nowadays, you can't say, "Oh, is that a new hairdo? You look good." or "That plaid scarf goes well with your jacket. You look really nice." without having someone file a sexual harassment report with HR. And numerous variants. Mind you, some guys can still almost get away with, "Hey, slut. You wanna go fuck in the men's room during your coffee break? I've got 15 minutes." while other guys limit themselves to "Good morning." "Did I get any messages while I was out?" and "See you tomorrow." ("Can I give you a ride home?" can elicit a "STALKER!!" accusation.)
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How are his social skills? How about "family counseling" or just individual psychology counseling for your son? There are psychologists who are experienced with sex issues (and offer "sex surrogate therapy"). I wonder if a high priced psychologist working with sex surrogates is just another version of what you are suggesting.  
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This one might be WAY off base: help your son to host some small dinners, BBQs, soirees, TV sports watching parties, or other events at your home. Make sure there are some young women in the mix. Maybe YOU can help things along:
"So your father is an electrical engineer? My son did an electricity science project his senior year. Go ahead, son, tell her about what you did. ..."  ANYTHING to help things along. "Electrical engineer? My son built a baking soda volcano for a science project. He had a flashlight -- ELECTRICITY!! -- underneath to make the fake lava glow read. Go ahead, son, tell her about it."  One warning: Don't try to pick off his friends for yourself!
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A lot of social and socio-politoco-economico stuff has led to the "incel" (involuntary celibacy) movements.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel  That can be a really bad thing so maybe a psychologist is a good way to go.
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Only 18? Give him a few more years to try to work things out on his own or by learning from his peers. A psychologist might suggest the same thing or give a reasonable cutoff age to take more aggressive action.
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Just keep an eye his general mental health and overall well being. Don't let him lock himself in this room watching porn 12 hours per day.  

Posted By: greenbear

My son is 18 (looks older) and is a virgin. He’s not bad looking, has a good personality, but he went to a small town high school where only 30% of the students were female and about a third of them were gay. The ones he liked had their choices and for some reason favored tall skinny twink-looking boys. My son is 5’10, burly and has a full beard. He is taking a gap year and I think he should have some experience before college. Are there any nice women (GFE) who could show him the ropes? How would I go about arranging this? Usually they ask for verification and I’m not sure how to do that for another person, especially since he has no track record or employment history to speak of. I can pay a fairly high rate.
Good luck!

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