What the hell is going on with this crap? I met this guy ONCE ! Today I get 3 requests for a reference on him. I asked him to call me to send a pic or to help me with a memory of our conversation. Nothing, Now he says he is going to write a negative review. This kind of crap makes my blood boil. Can I get any advice please?
Perhaps you don't understand what true blacklisting is. It's publicly outing his personal info on a national blacklist site. Such an action should be done only for someone who steals, assaults, stalks or some other very serious action. This is bad, but does not come close to blacklist activity. What she can do is, if he actually does write such a review, contact Admin herself and tell them the review is a fake. They may take it down, though there's no guarantee. I've been with Salma and she's a sweet, sexy lady with loads of reviews. One bad one, even if it stays up, will not hurt her business. Readers will take it as an anomaly and ignore it. She can also use back channels to tell everyone she knows to put this guy on their Do Not See lists. Call his bluff, Salma!
She absolutely should!! Your heart is in the right place. But blacklisting DOES NOT necessarily equal outing of personal info. Yes, I absolutely agree with you that 'outing' should *only* ever be used in cases of extreme danger..rape, assault, etc. What she can do is just use enough information so that other girls can identify and avoid this man, without completely outing his personal info. For instance, "HobbyBob" on TER, email "[email protected]", phone number "his HOBBY phone". Other girls deserve to know about and avoid people like this. How would you feel if a co-worker threatened to make a completely false accusation that could potentially cause you to lose a ton of business (your livelihood)? What the client threatened to do is pretty serious. Normal people don't act like that, and my feeling is that he is a threat in other ways as well (we'll never know since the lady in question very wisely refused the appt)
I think this has become a semantic discussion. Many people do not understand the difference between blacklisting and putting someone on a DNS list. There is a huge difference. Blacklisting is, in fact outing someone's personal info and should only be reserved for extreme cases. I thought I made that clear but I guess not. Many people will say things like "I will blacklist for a NCNS," but they don't really mean a true blacklisting. They just don't understand what the term really means. I suspect you may be one of those. It's very important to keep the terms straight.
1. Putting someone on a DNS list. This is simply keeping a list of guys that a girl won't see.
2. Blacklisting - putting someone on a "do not see" list that is shared with the other ladies on a ladies only board. Getting someone blacklisted means no one will see him. Or, at least no one in the community that accesses that board.
3. Outing - Publishing someone's real name, home phone number, place of employment and their hobby identity in public.
You are the only one I have ever spoken with who thinks that outing is part of blacklisting. That doesn't mean others don't think that way as well. I have simply never heard anyone mean outing when they said blacklisting
Why don't you just mind your own business ? It really pisses me off to see a monger who thinks he can make the rules and give us advice. We have access to private blacklist sites that you don't even know about. This client deserves to be outed for making threats and misusing the review system. Girl, post his handle , email address and phone on VH and SO .
and I've got a right to post what I think. And I think you're wrong. Why get your panties all in a wad about it? Also, I don't think I "can make the rules." Among most thoughtful people, both providers and mongers, my view is accepted. But feel free to think otherwise. I don't get into debates with flamers of either sex.
You'll reach a lot more ladies there than on this local board. Hopefully, you have a record of your emails/texts with this guy. This way if he goes ahead with his threat you can notify TER and they will have proof to pull his review and possibly ban him as well. Sorry you had this bad experience; hope it works out for you.
NCNS AND threatening with a bad review are deserving of blacklisting. Blacklisting can be done properly as a warning. Putting someone on my personal DNS list that only I see doesn't help the provider community in any way. But the warning style private blacklisting sure does.
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