I haven't actually gone to Trapeze, but I've heard the same thing...tackiness, lewdness, the lingering odor of food...I would recommend Checkmate. If you want an upscale atmosphere, it's the best club you'll find in NYC. I wouldn't consider it refined or luxurious...but it's very tastefully decorated and has a nice, upscale crowd. It's definitely clean. But it IS a sex club...you can't completely escape the mirrors and porn videos (although at Checkmate at least they're kept in the background).

Checkmate does vet couples ahead of time to try to garner a decent-looking crowd. With that said, I've seen people on both extremes of the attractiveness scale. I will say that, compared to other places I've been (in Florida and private parties in NYC and eastern LI), Checkmate consistently has the best-looking people. There are always a few studs and a few duds (but at least there are some studs!).

Be sure to BYOB...limited selection @the bar.

Hope this helped!