Hello all. I'm pretty new to this and was looking for some input from colleagues here in NYC.  

 I traveled with a provider for over half a week and provided a substantial sum. I thought we had built quite some rapport and connection but she kept reminding me that I owed her $200 which was honestly 3% of the total sum and I bought over $1000 in gifts for her together. Additionally in our last two nights she didn't want to be involved intimately (hope u get my drift here without stating the obvious). She just said she had no desire or drive. But I found this very bizarre because I am actually in my 30s with a lean athletic build. I'm very articulate, polite, hygienic, courteous. It wasn't because she may have been too sore... We only became involved once each night because we were busy sightseeing during each day. I was very respectful and didnt force the issue upon her but by the last night i was very frustrated. I had paid all upfront except the $200 so I felt I couldn't ask for any of it back. I also realize it would have been construed of as rude even with all the gifts I had bought and resigned myself to a lesson learned.  
 
The question is ... How do I prevent this from happening and if it does happen again, in all fairness, do I have a right for reimbursement of funds. The provider is a well reviewed provider ... With about 3 pages of reviews so I did everything I could to minimize this risk of occurring. I even spent a couple hours with her separately in advance of the trip to screen her. I did have a couple misgivings... She wasn't as involved as I would have liked but everything else about her fit my high standards.  
 
I also apologize in advance for any inappropriateness. As I said I am new to this and it is my first long trip with someone. I tried to keep any identifying information minimal other than the amount involved because I was flabbergasted at how petty and how uninvolved in the trip she became.  
 
Another question is... In the future to prevent this from happening can I pay half up front and the remaining half on satisfaction completion of the trip? That seemed like a no-no as she an her agent requested all up front.  
Thanks all.

Booking weekend  through agent?? with zero info about your date?- you asked for that yourself  

Seek  for Women who do love men and actually love man's company ...

 not just donations

 ( as in French saying those women cost a lot :) Just find them

cherche femme...

Such women  still do  exist - I exit as many others  

 What a nonsense as up to me -go to vacation with woman

who does use an agent for booking -

 zero  exchange of personal info if you are match or not .
. money is ONLY money ..  
 Money should gave you best time of your life ...  
but be adult and  find HER yourself ... no agents !!  
 Sorry I do not believe in agents  
 I did try myself few tie agents and ONLY when I  was upset with men and do not want take my time talk to men and book myself .. when I was upset with men..
 it was not good dates set up through agents
I am back to normal lovely conversations with my dates.

 Thanks  god I was able keep my love to all what comes with man  including and exchange of interests  

Take you time to find a woman

 Here a Lot of women ..  

Use your mind  ...smart men are soooo sexy ...

 cherche femme:  

 Kissess  

-- Modified on 10/18/2014 4:37:16 PM

I understand this situation very well and could see your frustrations and regret. Firstly this is unfortunate that happened to you and Im sorry it did.  

My first concern as the consumer would have been the "she had an agent part", me particularly being both provider and participant, I would have stayed clear of this even with all the reviews she had. (This is a completely biased opinion)

The second thought I have is, the small red flags in your gut telling you there were some "inconsistent" things you noticed before you booked her for such dedicated trip should have been paid attention to .........if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck...its a duck -- don't get the duck if you expected filet mignon...in other words if someone doesn't meet your high standards 100% then don't budge, keep looking for your diamond until you get it

Last the issue of "gifts" is a delicate and tough talked about issue but I feel this must be said (I cannot speak on behalf of anyone else but myself) A gift is simply that..a gift. A genuine gift should not come with leverage, expectations, or "indian-giving"...When handing a gift over with expectations, it will fail you every time. Call the giving of " I bought over $1000 in gifts for her together" exchange for whatever you expected in return, a lesson learned.  

Also at the end of the day you are paying for a ladies' time to spend with you and in that time she should meet your expectations as was presented about herself via marketing on her behalf (and I would hoped clear communication) anything outside of that expense is at your discretion or hers (gifts, trips, etc) Unless the agreed upon transaction was the exchange of gifts for time or gifts being part of the transaction at no undermining or ulterior motive costs (at which point would be poor business added already to your story about this lady)  

You cannot hold the "gift giving" against her even if she's asked; shame on you for buying and shame on her for asking, I'm sure she is quite capable of purchasing her own items and you are capable of being a gentleman with a polite decline.  

My best advice for you: Treat extended dates the same way you would dating someone new and wanting to go on vacation with them.  

1. Acknowledge exactly what you want: where do you want to go? do? see? participate in? etc
2. Find the INDEPENDENT lady of your choice ((Ive found with a woman doing her own laundry you truly can get to know her one on one)  
3. Be completely transparent, clear, and honest with yourself as well as stating this honesty when contacting the provider
4. Go on as many dates as possible to where you feel 100% comfortable with the lady of your choice before committing to an extensive and expensive vacation/extended trip

As for you last question of donations and deposits: that I can not answer as, "to each lady their own conduct of business", but I'm sure with enough dates under your belt you can get a real sense of security, genuine intent, compatibility, chemistry, comfort, and enthusiasm with/from someone.  

No one wants to spend each day and night for several days with someone they don't enjoy truly being around, their true colors are bound to show in a matter of time, its just the nature of the beast. One can only wear a mask for so long. But if you are with someone where no mask is needed then the trip is lovable and enjoyable for all.  

This is mind you can possibly bypass a security deposit, upfront donation, etc depending upon the rapport, trust, and business conduct of the lady who you have in mind.

Lastly if you feel you weren't given a great service for which you paid for then I particularly would not pay as the consumer...coming from the ladies standpoint what is owed and not paid does not stand well. But if you say you are and behave how you claim then you won't have a problem finding another lady of interest to date you. To pay to save face or not to pay for unfair service? Thats your call.

I truly hoped this helped you love and your next excursion be a beautiful one!

Have a joyous, successful, and relaxing week!
Affinia Devonshire~

Do not trust those who can wear masks for long time as matter of the fact some wore them for life time  
 
 Look for genuine people ... Not those who wearing masks .. those  can hurt  you.

Adjust your values - what is  an adult fantasy for you - pure woman who can gave you her love and her body and heart and mind all herself while with you those short days ...  
 or one who will keep you on short leash charging money and using you  

 Amazing intelligent post of Affinia  
I just doubt that there in such arrangements any bypass of donations is possible ..
 normally in my experience gentleman himself wants help with expenses .. not because it is part of the deal .. but because he wants make time the most relaxed and  woman to be worry free ::

To me, you don't "build" rapport over the course of a multi-day date.  You establish the rapport first, with shorter dates starting with a couple of hours, then build from there.  Unless you're me and you have no desire to spend more than a few hours, then go your separate ways.
It makes me wonder if you're vulnerable to falling for one of these girls.  If so, you are playing this game for the wrong reason: you want a real relationship.  In fact, this game is only (or should be only) about the fantasy.  It's when guys try to make it more than that they run into trouble.  Sure real, long-term relationships have happened.  There's always the exception that proves the rule.
But if it's a relationship you're really looking for then be honest with yourself and perhaps look in a different place than this game.

You say $200 is 3% of the overall fee, which means you paid $6000 for four days of her company?  So after splitting with her agency and deducting the amount you shorted her, she made $2800 for four entire days with you?  $700 per day?

You get what you pay for.  Most of us charge more than that for an overnight.  No wonder she got tired of putting on an act after so few days.

Sorry you had this experience nevertheless.  Next time go with an independent who sets her own rate and gets to keep all the money so she doesn't start to wonder what the fuck she us doing there after three days.  If I were getting paid so little per day to go on a trip with someone and he shorted me up front without correcting the amount, I might not be in the mood on the 3rd or 4th day either!

If I were ever to book a multi-day date, it would only be with one of my faves, all of whom are well established independents that I have known for years.  That would have avoided any confusion over expectations, rapport, etc.  Also, had I accidentally come up $$ short, I would have IMMEDIATELY hit the nearest ATM to cover the shortfall.  Why didn't you take care of that, especially since it was an issue for her?  Major faux pas, dude!  That's probably why she withheld from you the last two nights.

Sorry to hear things didn't go as you expected, but there lessons for next time.  Only with ladies you know well, and make sure you pay her the correct amount.  Best of luck going forward.

Hey Crazy:

I had $200 short because this trip spanned the weekend and on the weekend my cash withdrawal limit had been reached, so I fixed this by the morning of day 3 by calling up the bank.  

I also gave her gifts while shopping on 2 separate occassions both on day 1 and day 2 of the trip, in the amount of $500 (clothing, merchandise etc - so it hsould have been apparent that I was honorable). And someone who really would have been pleasant would have said, "don't worry about the $200" because I wanted this to be a prelude to a week long international trip.

I made a few mistakes, but I can assure you it wasn't with regards to any level of dishonesty or intent to cheat her of the remaining balance.  

ultimately, I believe it came down to not having spent enough time with some women to screen them. I wish I had more time to see more women ... but I will make a concerted effort to do so ...  
But the other thing is, in my life, I haven't actually slept with that many women (8 women total, 4 of which were serious ex-gf's), and I don't want to. I would rather just find one provider and make her my favorite and she will be the only person I see.

It is just very hard combine math and intimate connection .. but we should ..
 Those who able to achieve this balance - those are the best  
 But it is almost not possible to achieve this balance being NOT independent  or work with agent.
 Yes .. regarder pour femme..
 


-- Modified on 10/19/2014 11:20:36 AM

The more you explain your logic the more you sound like an asshole.  I don't think booking an independent would solve your problem if you honestly have the kind of attitude where you would short a lady $200 off her fee and then feel entitled to have her tell you not to worry about it because you bought her some gifts and/or you were hoping to book her for a longer trip in the future.  Why would anyone agree to go on a second trip with someone who shorted them on the first trip, and then got annoyed that she wouldn't just tell you not to worry about it?  If that was seriously your attitude I'm 100% sure she felt it and hated every second of being with someone with such a self-entitled attitude.  Which is probably why she wouldn't sleep with you on the 3rd or 4th night.

Gifts are sometimes really sweet and thoughtful, and sometimes just an expression of the client's own fantasy/ego without any regard to whether the lady personally would enjoy said gift.  In either event, receiving a gift is fun and adds a very memorable personal touch to an encounter, but in no way is it an adequate substitute for paying a lady's rate, unless she agrees that it is!  Your resentment that she did not agree to substitute gifts for the $200 you shorted her is likely your real problem.

With all due respect to all responders this guy really is a PUTZZZZ--- why even bother -- sometimes I really wonder about these post's and the way people respond so naive like this is a self help board --- guys and gals this is a board for hookers and horny men -- not a board to help some smuck to get any attention -- just my opinion

horny men - was Very nice guess :)
 Kissess

It's one of those cases where you hope the guy is lying  
Otherwise he is officially nominated for putz of the year  

Who would book a date for a few days with a girl you don't know
Most of these girls are good for one, maybe 2 things and that's it.
The second best part of this hobby is not having to pretend you like them
Not having to talk to them and leaving when you are done.

I would never hire a girl for 4 days?

But if I was Into that I would definitely check her out a few times.
Next time cover your ass dude.

Haha -- the love last's as long as the Benjamin's do

You are incorrectly calling me an asshole.  

I was not substituting the $200 in lieu of the gifts and she new that. I just wasn't able to pull up the cash out the bank so quickly because of the weekend.  

By the 3rd night, I had already paid her the remaining $200. So there is still her fallacy that on the remaining 2 nights, the 3rd and the 4th night she didn't want to participate in intimacy when I had paid her in full. But the up until the time on the evening of the 3rd day she kept reminding me i owed her $200. In fact, I told her politely on the 2nd night, "You don't need to remind me, and look at me if you genuinely are concerned I won't pay you the remaining $200". To which she said, as a person she knows I am honorable

Dude not sure if your for real or just ignorant -- please don't go any further with this thread or you will be banished from anyone talking with you -- yes you are an asshole and if you are so stupid then you got sooooooo ripped off -- sorry for you if that's the case -- but if you got the money to burn then your doing well enough to no better then to get ripped off by a sleazy to bit hooker and her pimp!!!!

I wish  there be many many many Biiiggggg Benjamin s
Is it  word  for what ? for your cocks ? hahha  
 then yes as long as it last  and  as you can see on my reviews it lasts up to three times in two hours
Lover or hooker

I prefer the first one

-- Modified on 10/20/2014 8:49:53 AM

In the beginning you said that you paid all upfront except for the $200 and couldnt figure out why she didnt want to sleep with you...then you said you actually paid the $200 the 2nd day....and then you also say its Bizarre she didnt want to sleep with you...who the f*** are you? Gods gift to women...Just cuz you look good doesnt mean your good in bed...I can see why she was fed up and so over you...lol
I highly doubt SHE or the $$$ was the real issu

I am very sorry that happened to you. If she was not in the mood she should have declined the trip. We all know what the deal is. It would be one thing if you had tried to make it a 24 hour marathon, but it sounds like you were very generous and reasonable. I would write a review about it. Besides that it seems you have very little recourse. To prevent this happening in the future I would spend several multi hour sessions before committing to a multi day adventure with someone. I think what happened was the rare exception. Best of luck on your next trip.

Kisses
Alana

He said he paid the *entire* amount upfront, minus a mere $200.  

While it's not optimal to be lacking any portion of the donation on the first date, I'd be OK with it - as long as the client 1) Explained the situation to me, and assured that he'd rectify the situation as soon as he was able, and 2) Made it clear that he had genuinely run into a snafu and wasn't just being cavalier with my income.  

If SHE had an emergency and was late, I imagine that he'd have extended her the same benefit of the doubt. Furthermore, if he was apologetic, and then bought me $1k worth of gifts, I think I'd just tell him to please forget the g**d*** $200, already. I hope so.  

Multi-day appointments can be very difficult. This girl obviously resented the donation shortage (which might not have been handled very adeptly by the OP), and it seems like she entered into the date in a dour frame of mind. (Once that happens, it's very difficult to recover). Then, when being constantly in his company began to grate on her nerves (happens sometimes with even the best of friends), she shut down. Understandable, but completely unprofessional.  

My advice to the OP is to choose a companion who is more experienced with longer bookings, and has the professionalism, social skills, maturity level to handle a longer date. And, to book an independent for this type of date. Also - not sure, but it sounds like she might not have had ANY time to herself. Some people just need a wee bit of alone time to think, recharge, etc. She might have felt smothered, and other girls might, too - BUT a better escort will find a tactful way to address this before it becomes a problem, and balance your needs and hers during the time you're together