I recently asked a provider, well-reviewed on these boards, for a reference. It was the second time I had hit her up in six months. She informed me that she only provides two references per appointment, so this would be my last. This was the first time I had ever heard of that stipulation. I'm wondering whether this is a normal practice within the industry, or just her practice?
I don't want to make this about her, which is why I'm not revealing her name. I'm genuinely curious, now that the whole verification/reference model has become more or less the norm among independent providers, how often you're willing to act as a reference for a client?
I appreciate the responses so far. So you don't have a limit (at least, not a set limit or policy) on the number of references you'll provide for a client (assuming he's "a stand up guy")?
I have found it a bit hit or miss. One provider I've seen several times swore she would act as a reference for me, but has never returned an email request from another provider. While others don't seem to mind at all. But this two-per-session policy was a new one for me. It was almost as if she were placing a value on providing a reference, as if it were a value-added service one had to pay for.
Many providers that I know won't give a reference if you haven't seen them in the past 6 months. The official reason behind it is that they can't always remember every guy they saw a year ago. Perhaps there is an unofficial reason of "If you aren't giving me business, then why should I help you see someone else." And I think that's valid.
It's generally rude to ask someone for a reference if you aren't giving them any business. Maybe make an exception if it's a travelling provider whom you haven't seen recently because they haven't been here.
I have also had ladies that I knew well enough that they told me they would always be a reference for me. But I've never tested it out. I try to use the people I have seen most recently for references.
But I don't like the two-fer rule. If you see a girl even once every 2 months, then you are giving her steady business, and she should give you as many references as you ask for while you are still her customer.
Since this is someone you only saw once and it was almost 6 months ago (if I read that correctly) then I think you should either give her more business if you want her to continue to be a reference, or start to ask the girls you have seen since her to be your new references. I don't like the two-fer rule on it's own, but the whole scenario sounds completely fine to me.
Thanks again, everyone, for the responses to this thread. All very interesting.
WC, I don't necessarily disagree with you. But in my case, I seldom repeat with a provider, for a wide variety of reasons (it's very rare). In recent years, I've also tended to see a lot of UTR providers who don't participate on the boards or have Web sites. So, when I do see "well known" providers (for lack of a better term), I ask whether they're reference-friendly, and if they'd mind providing one for me should the need arise. And it does, but only from time to time. So, in my case, six months really isn't such a long time. I'm also a very easy customer. In all these years of hobbying, I've never had any issues or drama. All I'm saying is that it cuts both ways. Had I ever intended to see this particular provider again, her two-fer rule has certainly me view her in a different light.
I recently asked a provider, well-reviewed on these boards, for a reference. It was the second time I had hit her up in six months. She informed me that she only provides two references per appointment, so this would be my last. This was the first time I had ever heard of that stipulation. I'm wondering whether this is a normal practice within the industry, or just her practice?
I don't want to make this about her, which is why I'm not revealing her name. I'm genuinely curious, now that the whole verification/reference model has become more or less the norm among independent providers, how often you're willing to act as a reference for a client?
Sindee is awesome. I have seen her a number of times and I am sure that she is fond of me as well. I know she would give me a reference whenever I asked her. However, because of one circumstance or another, I have not had the opportunity to "see" her in a while. As such, I wouldn't think to use her as a reference. We'll talk and we'll email, but the next time I ask her for something, it's going to be for an appointment, not for a reference.
That is weird. I get back to providers instantly or rapidly when they ask a reference. So they can stop worrying and start getting really horny. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I find only certain women have policies like that and its a part of larger problem with providers themselves. A good honest provider would have no issues giving a referral to another provider. This is for the new providers safety a well as doing small favor for their client. Unless this is a meeting from years back in which there is no longer info on it, there should be no shakedown or cattyness-like issues like this. Its not a big deal and if someone makes it into such one should look at to the source for underlying issues. Consider it a gauge for problematic personalities.
I personally do give out references as many as requested, but if it has been more than 1 year since appointment I stipulate that it was LONG time since I have seen that gentleman and that I can not be responsible for any changes in his status/behavior.
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