Anyone ever give up hobbying because their special provider is no longer providing?
I've been hobbying for years. I had always stopped when I ended up dating someone but eventually when I stopped dating, I would fall back into hobbying. Don't get me wrong, I saw multiple providers at once before meeting her and when I saw her regularly -- different people, different types of fun you know? But through the last nine or so years, I developed a friendship with a particular provider. When I first met her, she was going to school and as cliche as it sounds, she was doing it to pay for school. She was getting a degree in something she really wanted to do. I've always encouraged her to complete her schooling and move on if this isn't something she wants to continue doing for a long period of time.
At one point, I stopped hobbying due to personal things going on in my life and she stopped providing because she was at the tail end of her schooling. We would still keep in contact over email and one day after almost a year of me quitting the hobby, she asked me if I wanted to meet. I asked her if she was still in the business because I really didn't know her intention for the meeting. She told me that she's providing for a select few regulars that she still feel safe with and she's mostly out of providing in general. From there, we met at least once a year on a special day. I agreed to meet with her but I hadn't gone back to hobbying or seeing anyone through the year since I stopped. So technically, she was my only provider.
Through our recent years together we've developed certain routines that I enjoyed -- things that she let me do or we do that other providers likely wouldn't. For instance, she allows me to take photographs and video of our times together. This isn't just about the intimate act but simple things such as our time talking. It is part of my cherished collection of keepsakes.
The two years before this, it was difficult finding good times to meet but we did and I had a great time with her.
This year, we tried to meet but our times weren't compatible. She can only meet on certain days at certain times. I am very happy for her because she probably now has a job doing what she really likes/wants to do. It is very good to hear that someone is moving on to something they like/want to do. (Selfishly -- now I am stuck without that special provider that allows for those special things during our time together!) Of course I'm not going to stop communicating with her but I am certainly not going to make her feel uncomfortable to try to make her find time for this especially when she's basically out of it. (I don't know for sure but I think I'm the last one on her 'still see' list.)
I'm not sure if anyone has had similar. I'm not sure if I can find a connection like that again with someone else and also maintain the level of fun and extracurricular activities normally not given by providers. Plus it would probably take years again to develop something with another provider. Now, as full disclosure, I have tried a couple of other providers these last three years and while it was fun, it's just not the same. I wonder if it is not time to just hang up (for me, again) the hobbying hat.
I'd like to hear what others have done or what others intend to, if they have ATF providers that stopped providing