This has happened to me a few times and I can never understand why some guys think they're entitled to freebies? I have never given a freebie and doubt I ever will. Have I added a little extra time on the clock for people I hit if off with? Certainly but I've never seen ANYone for free. A few years ago one of the more influential hobbyists (no longer around) asked and asked and asked and when I continued to say no he got angry, threatened me and never spoke to me again. I was baffled but glad that I wasn't being shaken down constantly. I've found myself in the situation again. A certain individual engaged me in over 100 email conversations over my last two visits, promised to book an appointment and then followed with a request for the appointment to be free. I said no over and over and over as politely as I could but again, the conversation ended in an ugly way and now after he got angry that I refused. Now, I'm fearful he's going to bad mouth me to other hobbyists or worse.
I'm wondering if any other ladies have experienced this and how they've handled it? I'm curiuos to hear from the guys too. Is there any reason why you would ask for a freebie and then threaten the provider when she doesn't agree?

Im sorry you met a person like that. I'd be very careful around him,. Be as polite as you can and try to avoid him at all cost.

It seems that you don't have a handle on the term freebie and how to incorporate into your business
The answer should always be yes I have freebies, providing you pay the regular suggested rate.
I have key chains , pens and even toasters to give away
Try that sales technique and watch your sales figures go up.
Wait I think I misunderstood, did he mean free total  sex?

I personally feel these are the most dangerous men in this hobby and the women that go along with it are as deceitful as the women who use fake photos are on some levels, but in the same token, they are just doing what lobbyist have been doing for decades... paying to get what they want and where they want to be.  

I had one woman tell me who is in the top list that she had someone ask her many times and that she would never agree to it, meanwhile I see that not to long ago, guess who reviewed her? Yep, the guy that promised a raving review in exchange for tapping it free.

Had another lady tell me that she saw a reviewer who used to be one of the most vocal on the boards, when he got to her place he didn't give her the required donation, since he had been whitelisted so many times she just assumed he would pay her at the end. He left without paying her what she was owed. When she fought with him over it what did he do? He ruined her reputation and brought in his henchmen to help hang her.

Another lady told me much of the same scenario that you described, guy emailed her a thousand times, assured her that he would be booking time to see her and then asked for a freebie. She asked him why she would do that and he told her because maybe it could lead to them getting married. Except when she told him no he proceeded to belittle the shit out of her.

Why do mongers do this? Beats the shit out of me, but in my mind I can visualize them being the types that pull a hair out of their head and putting it in food at a restaurant to get a free meal. They are either narcissistic as hell and actually believe they are Gods gift to women, they are just cheap slimey asses or criminals, but possibly they are just all three and need to be eradicated from the hobby.

I would suggest you handle any of these types with kid gloves as I have heard numerous times that they can do great damage and have stalker type mentalities.

I know for a fact that the OP has given out Freebies and the OP has also begged guys on this board for favors and asked for money when she was down on her luck.  It's gall for her to post this crap.

Stop responding to their emails or answering their calls.
Simply and politely decline the first inquiry concerning a freebie. But do not allow the discussion to continue. Do not reply to furture request.  In fact  don't even book them for $$$.  They will at that point move on and start pestering some other lady.

Yep, this is the best advice. In psychology it's called "extinguishing." Their behavior is so inappropriate it must be extinguished; the only way you can hope to extinguish anyone's behavior is to just not make it worth their while to bother doing it. They cross the line in a serious way? That's the end of your communication with them. If they persist, then don't even engage them. They will eventually give up and move on to harass someone else. This also is the idea behind the phrase, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." Don't even explain yourself to them, just stop communicating.

Don't let the jerks get you down! Every now and again you get some crank who obsesses about something he can't have. Ignore it! There are plenty of other people he can go bother, and plenty of other people you can spend your energy on.

If I am not paying I am assuming you are my girlfriend.  I am not on TER to find a girlfriend and I am notoriously not boyfriend material.

This whole thing baffles me.   Unless someone has had many. many paid sessions and thinks he is somehow "entitled" to a free session.  Lots of folks feel entitled to things these days.  Maybe this is part of the Law of Unintended Consequences?

-Hoot.

Exactly.  Ban them from your book.  Their $$$ cannot be worth the aggravation.

I understand the concept from the consumer point of view.  Loyalty should have its rewards program.  Meaning, if the ladies have a steady client for some time and that client is in town or a resident, the lady might decide to offer the client a freebie after he arrives as a token of gratitude for the loyalty that client has exhibited by the number of times he has visited.

After the session is over, the lady politely refuses the compensation stating this one is on the house.

The client would not expect that to occur every time when it is explained regarding the loyalty and volume. Its similar to a vast number of ladies grandfathering their older clients in at very heavily discounted rates from the past.

The economy is poor, everything must be employed to ensure that the client keeps coming back with the heavy new competition out there.

HEAR HEAR!!

....neither of the people I mentioned ever booked an appointment with me before. They just felt like their status on the board made them important and their influence on other board members a reason to shake me down for a freebie.

Of course, I'm *always* good to my regulars and am happy to give them a little more of me than average.

Look, it's nice when it's offered to you, but I couldn't give a girl a score she didn't deserve EVEN if she gave me a discount.  A discount is nice when a girl says to you that she is willing to lower her rate in order to get a transaction/trade done.  But if the discount comes with stipulations that give me pressure to give a good score, even if she didn't deserve it, that's problematic.  I'd just rather not write the review.

Rather than waste your time with losers who are unwilling to play by the rules, seems the best course of action would be to set your e-mail to relegate messages from these guys to your junk e-mail box, set your TER PM to ignore them, and not respond to any phone calls or texts from them.  In fact, if they do the latter, advise them that you will be outing them on the LO board if they are TER members if they do not leave you alone.  

Just my two pennies...

The economy is still in the crapper, and won't be on any more solid ground anytime soon, BUT, to comp an entire session is just insane, to expect one is even more insane.

At the most, if looking at other businesses for models, restaurants may offer a bottle of cheap house wine, a round or maybe an appetizer (very rarely desserts as it is not price effective) or even better, since I am a large gambler on the sports books, I know that when I walk into a casino, if I drop 600 dollars on one bet, they comp me 1 dollar towards my future "on the house". Every 600 dollars I spend to bet I am comped one dollar. It took me a large bet over superbowl to finally get comped a nice dinner.... and I was what they considered a whale. I never demanded anything from them no matter how many round robins I played. I never demand anything from any business that I am involved with, except to deliver exactly what I have agreed to purchase at the price I have agreed to.

These ladies invest more than just time to spend with mongers. How many times do hobbiest ever notice if a lady he has been seeing always wears a different piece of lingerie, or shoes or has a bottle of chilled champagne or vodka waiting for him? Many times much of what they give goes very unnoticed, and to demand or expect, especially with the rates they are paying for hotels, for anything other than maybe a little extra time is unreasonable and quite frankly very uncouth and shows a lack of class.

Yes, its a business, and the competition can be brutal, but the fact is, if you have been seeing someone that much, then you must genuinly be getting your money's worth already and should be happy to have found that kind of connection.

I don't condone that type of behavior. "Hobbyists" who abuse their status in that manner are as bad as the providers who manipulate their reviews or are complicit with them. There have always been abusers in the hobby and there always will be. Sad, but true.

I understand your casino analogy, but even the cheapest restaurants give away freebies to their customers.  Buy 5 get one free, high end places do the same. I have been comped full countless dinners at restaurants, not knowing it until the bill arrives and the maitre de states this is on the house, see you soon, airlines with the mileage awards, and yes casinos who have not seen me in a while send me invites for a free room for 2 days to visit (value $600).. Establishments also have high overhead, its the cost of doing biz.  And the ladies charging at what amounts to $10 p/min from the time you walk in the door, thats higher cost than any establishment would charge (amounts to close to 13K a night on a hotel basis) since their is no product to purchase to cover that expense.

The ladies want it all, thats greed and greed is not good.

Regarding harassing clients, just ignore them, do not return calls.  Ignoring someone is the greatest insult.

If they go on rants on the board, thats a cost of doing biz, though not viewed favorably by other members.

A lot of the rants are aliases being other working girls trying to eliminate the competition.

...... because they think themselves hot-shot king shits around these parts (lol sorry for making it sound like the old Wild West) to save a few bucks and hustle a freebie.  

We ALL KNOW nothing makes a vagina and mouth more wetter than "you'd better or else".

Oh yeah baby.

...in order to offer the best experience I could to both new and old friends. I rented a vacation rental by the night (just like a hotel) and have put out thousands and thousands of dollars out to do so. I can't tell you how insulting, deflating and infuriating it is when someone has the nerve to ask for a freebie. It's particularly infuriating when a freebie is asked for when on tour. Like it's free for me to be here right???

My post has nothing to do with comps, discounts, casinos or restuarants. It's about someone getting downright dirty with me while trying to coerce me into a 100% free appointment. I've never met him before so I don't owe him a thing - free, discount or whatever. The post is about spending several messages (and several is an understatement) trying to work with someone who I really thought wanted to book my time on the up and up. 100 messages and few hours later the person does a 360 on me and goes completely dark when I won't agree to free. I feel like he owes me at this point - hardly the other way around.

.... I repeat that I have never given freebies so you're off base here when you say that I have.

Further - I'm sorry my post makes you so angry. It's an open discussion board and I'm discussing something very pertinent to the topic of "hobbying and providing".  You're reaction almost implies that you're guilty of such behavior (shaking providers down for freebies). Is that why you're' so sensitive about the subject?

Last, you can be as angry as you like BUT I think I'm on point here with saying that anyone who harrasses another person to the point of occupying their focus for hours on end, keeping them off balance and then threatening them when they don't get what they want is just pure wrong. I'm sorry that you don't see it that way.

You are absolutely right regarding loyalty and I think that most providers do extend 'rewards' to their frequent (or favorite) clients. Each provider/client relationship has a unique dynamic and I think that what constitutes a good reward/benefit will differ greatly across the spectrum.

I'd personally prefer to extend any 'rewards' over a longer period, so that it would add up to the same thing over time. IMO, 'freebies' would blur the lines between real life and p4p...the boundaries are in place for a reason and I think that having those boundaries there makes BOTH parties involved more comfortable. For boundary issues, for the client feeling afraid of taking advantage, for the provider worrying that the client will feel entitled not to pay in the future. There are many ways to reward someone without these complications.

On a side not, I believe that this business IS integrally different than any other hospitality service...while you can logically and objectively say that we are selling 'widgets,' however you prefer to define that widget (time, sex, etc)...it is subjectively very different. For example, most people understand that we do not have to serve anybody who makes us uncomfortable for any reason, even if that reason is completely frivolous (even where the hobby is legal, this is true, as far as I have heard). Other hospitality industries cannot claim the right to do that. In principle, it is the same - we all sell a service. In reality - not the same at all.

-- Modified on 7/17/2012 7:20:38 AM

Interesting manner in which this discussion shifted. As Lola just implied, it transmogrified into commodifying providers with reference to casinos and restaurants. She is not a place. She is a person who was harassed by an unknown and made to feel unsafe merely because she would not offer free sex. The passive aggressive nature of the abuse is plain. And it could become way less passive if he continues. Why try to compare or contrast it to other businesses? Has anyone ventured into Le Bernardin, demanded a free meal, and threatened them when rejected?

Some people think they are better than the provider and are thus entitled to the freebie.   A provider, as an independent business women or TV, is certainly free to run her business and life how best she chooses..,but, and this should be obvious, it is her decision not the cheap immature person looking for a freebie..

the post by Man_Cave disappear when he only called out a fact and this post that is entirely unsubstantiated remain? One can only wonder how that might have happened . Now, I wonder will this be posted?

....... please get your facts straight. I have never asked anyone for anything without providing a service for it. I think you have a distorted (and possibly inebriated) recollection of events and I don't believe you really know me. What I do know is that this is clearly a personal vendetta against me and I hope other board members can see that.

Love, Laney