Now that the dust has settled, I will respond to some of the comments. First, I would like to thank VixenKate for her most gracious remarks. In the brief time that I spoke with her it became readily apparent that she is quite an intelligent and perceptive person. Second, I would like to congratulate Villagegirl and Richard1945 for their rational and civilized comments. The comments that did not contribute anything to the discussion, particularly the one-or-two liners, speak for themselves. In no way did my original post suggest any form of censonship in the discussions and the reviews. To those of you that may have missed it my post made several points. First, I severely questioned the need to include details on page two that do not add any further information to a hobbyist deciding whether or not to see a particular provider. Second, when you post these and other details, I would suggest it is done without the approval of the provider. As far as I am concerned, this constitutes invasion of privacy. Why? When you meet with a provider, there are no other persons (unless a third person is invited) present, it is not done publically, and there is no audience. In a meeting like this there is the implicit assumption of privacy. When the play-by-play is posted on page two privacy is lost and the provider cannot do anything about it (other than not seeing you again, but that is not a real solution) because it happens after the fact of the meeting. As a matter of personal choice, I am not interested in compromising another person's privacy, and I know that some of you have no qualms about doing this. Its just that if you are not aware of it, this is what is actually taking place. Third, I made the suggestion of a real radical idea, that on the other hand if you honor this privacy, it just might get you mileage in repeat visits that would otherwise not be available. Where do I get this idea? From experience. When I meet with a provider I make it very clear that I will never discuss the activities with any other person, or even that the meeting ever took place. This information I hold in complete discretion for an indefinate period of time. If a provider were to request of me that I make the meeting public by posting a review in a forum such as this, I would be more than happy to do so. I have yet to receive such a request from a provider.
As to the eighty nine pages of reviews that I carefully read, I read them for two reasons. First, to see patterns of activities, and the nature of the reviews. As to having time to read the reviews, I must admit that winter provides with the time that I would otherwise spend enjoying a variety of outdoor activities, among which is riding my two Harley-Davidsons and my restored vintage Indian motorcycle in the country lanes of upstate NY. As has been pointed out some reviews do not appear to be truthful, particularly those where a provider has a single positive review. While it is possible, I find it highly suspect. All the reviews are detailed on page two, but the vast majority of them contain a large number of "Don't Know" on page one. When a hobbyist from this forum sees a provider, most of the time they know before hand that they will write a review. As such, it is their responsibility to their fellow hobbyist to fully include all the information noted on page one. There are subtle ways of asking a provider this info, it does not have to come across as if you are filling out a questionnaire. To do anything less than this is to do a disservice to other members of this forum. I can assure you that if I were writing a review (subject to the conditions noted in the previous paragraph) this information would be included. To those that suggested I get a life, I can assure you I am quite busy with a whole range of activities. To the writer that suggested that I was a frustrated English teacher, nothing could be farther from fact as I am a successful professional in the visual arts. As for the Harvard Business Review, I have never read it. However, I will admit that one of my faults is writing and expressing myself in the most eloquent manner that I can, in spite of the fact that English is not my native language. In conclusion I would like to thank those that have made this exchange a memorable experience and to add that on the whole this forum generally conducts itself at a much more civilized level of of discourse than other forums of this type (without naming names) which most of us are familiar with.
I suspect this post will start a huge discussion, and if that is the case I will consider it successful. I joined this board about two weeks ago on a paid subscription basis, and spent several days reading every single review contained on what at that date were eighty nine available pages (NY reviews, and have also read all pages of the Boston reviews). I noticed that several providers had several pages of very positive reviews, with often multiple positive reviews by one hobbyist. These positive reviews were (and are) very detailed in discussing activities between hobbyist and provider. Seems to me that after several positive detailed reviews, additional positive detailed reviews do not contribute to making a provider any more desireable. I particularly do not care how many cups a hobbyist had, or how good she was at XYZ, especially when I have read it several times already, and have glanced the numbered rating system. I suspect that some hobbyists like to read this kind of stuff, but perhaps fellow hobbyists should consider exercising some discretion in describing their activities and respect the privacy of their favorite provider. I suspect that if a hobbyist requested clearance from their provider to post a detailed review, the majority of the time they would be denied. Repeat and multiple visits are the best compliment that a hobbyist could bestow on a provider. Maybe hobbyists post these detailed reviews to prove to other hobbyists how much of a swordsman they are, or maybe they do not want to pay the cost of a subscription, bizarre, considering how much they may spend on their hobby. Personally, I have no interest in proving anything to anyone and have never concerned myself with what others think I do or do not do. Revealing publically who I have visited is not the manner in which I conduct myself. This is my own personal position and it does have it limits. If I ever came across a provider that was a rip-off or that was absolutely awful, I would not hesitate to post it. On the other hand, by now I am wise enough to know which providers to avoid. Hobbyists might be wise to consider that respecting the privacy of a particular provider just might improve their visit with that provider the second time around. Begin firing, I have my helmet and flak jacket on, and I am ready with return salvoes.
They do need cash paying VIP members like you as much as they need us posters. My posts don't pay the bills, but they do get guys like you to pay the rent. So my bottom line, at the top of my reply to you Peter, is that there's a symbiotic relationship here amongst us posters, you paying lurkers, and our beloved providers.
Why do we post? And in such quantity? There are lots of reasons beyond your so obvious comment. I suppose that there are guys that are writing testaments to their swordsmanship, but there can be other reasons as well. For example, I like to write. I'm retired and have lots of time to write stuff. I write about what I like. And I like this hobby. And I'm not hurting anyone by doing it. And if anything, I don't believe that I in any way play up my abilities at all, and in fact am open about some frailties I have.
The details are in great part dictated by TER policy, which require a certain amount of graphic detail to post a review. If you don't care to read about how someone took 3 days to come, and had his provider climbing walls in ecstasy, then don't go to page 2. Nobody will slap you with a 12 inch dildo (our nuns are very progressive).
On details. Is it possible that perhaps one of us hobbyists might have the need for a specific act done in a specific way, and the only way he may determine if a provider does this is to consult detailed reviews? Is it possible that a provider's performance, demeanor, attitude, sexual orientation, skill levels, health (mental and physical) may change over time, and that a review that is 6 or 8 months old may no longer be a valid indication of what to expect? Just 2 alternate theories of reviews.
On Provider attitude toward reviews. If they are good reviews, most providers (those I know anyway) are happy to have them. Insofar as graphic detail is concerned, if she was my wife and was pissed I'd understand, but this is really the only venue providers have to convey their skill sets to their market, and for the most part are not embarrassed by them. If they were, boy are they in the wrong business! By the way, almost every provider I know gets real pissed off at bad reviews that they believe are undeserved. These reviews are in essence their lifeblood. Those that don't want reviews posted can ask TER to remove them, and as long as they aren't warnings about rip-offs, etc. TER will comply, so there is a safety valve for those providers not wanting data posted here.
On your attitudes. Don't write reviews about your good experiences. That's your choice and I for one won't argue it. We'll all probably get on fine without them. Thank you in advance for any warning type reviews you will unflinchingly write on behalf of your fellow TER members. Those are needed by all, and always greatly appreciated. If you chose not to publicly reveal who you see, that's your business. But it is our business, if we chose, to post whatever the fuck we want to post, as long as it isn't deceitful.
Some of us pay by posting. It isn't bizarre. It's sharing, something you evidently haven't learned yet. If we didn't share, you would not have joined. Like I said before, this is a symbiotic web site. Nobody here wants you to prove anything to them, so take your return salvoes and shove them you know where. That's not what this place is about.
By the way, Pete, this post is not a New York specific issue. It should have been posted on the National Board. When you do post reviews, make sure you know the girl's name, and what city you're in.
-- Modified on 1/21/2003 3:15:40 AM
Right on Fortitude! I posted a reply at 5 AM but suppose TER staff would not allow it! to be posted. CC
i checked messages at 4:30am, sorry i missed it. of course i'll post it, i thought your message was a particularly affectionate way of welcoming our new friend to the board....
b
Stop pissin and moaning & don't read the reviews nobodys twisting your arm. Why did you join anyway DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
I peruse a few message boards and the complaint I hear the most regarding the review section is that the frequency of certain reviewers reiterating the same information smacks of shilling. This negates the validity of some of the reviews. I don't think this is fair to the readers who utilize this information to make an informed decision. We should also remember that Basic Members get a free upgrade to VIP for two "posted" reviews. So those "filler" reviews could be attributed to cheapskates.
In my opinion a review should only be scripted when (1)No review exists. (2)Reviews are out dated. (3)A reviewer has something new to add or correct something that wasn't previously mentioned. OR (4) Someone has serious creative writing review skills they would like to share with us.
As far as the explicit content in a review is concerned that's a double edge sword. On one hand it gives specific information on services offered. It also lets the hobbyist know whether a providers personality is compatible to his own. But on the other hand. Some clients can become a problem when they expect you to perform a certain service cause they read it in a review. But ultimately this is the commercial sex industry, if a provider wants to consistently make money she needs to be reviewed. Being bashful is silly.
-- Modified on 1/21/2003 4:46:15 PM
We all join for a common reason which is to obtain unbiased third party information on providers. That information does not exist if there are no posts and TER might not exist if there are no paying customers.
The real value of the reviews is in the details. The checked boxes can only signify what services are or are not available. It is only through the detailed discussion that one discovers if the services are provided with enthusiasm or relunctantly. And yes, sometimes, the reviews are overly graphic. Personally, I don't necessarily need a minute to minute replay of the hour. But it is still better to have more rather than less.
Multiple reviews from the same hobbyist are also important as it can be a way to gauge whether or not the types of services offered or the level of enthusiasm changes as the provider gets to know you better.
Last but not least, the time line is also important. What were good providers can get jaded or burned out. Alternatively, average performers can become better over time.
The providers are well aware of the reviews. For a good provider, it is the best advertising that they can get. And it protects us from the rip-offs.
I am also new, and a subscription member that has done his share of hobbying. I enjoy reading the reviews, and find I can relate to many of them. The only reply I have to your diatribe is that other TER members should not even dignify your writing with any further responses. You read 89 pages of reviews??? Get a life pal.
Keep 'em coming!!!! So far, only one intelligent response.
Lets hear what providers have to say about all this.
This Peter29 guy is doing this because he's a frustrated English teacher and is grading our writing styles. or some sort of freak that's reading with one hand and stroking with the other. I respectfully suggest that we all just elect to ignore him, starting now.
So now you are taunting us, claiming to hold some superior intellect?? Perhaps you should be opining in the Harvard Business Review where, by the way, you do not have to concern yourself with the detailed sexual romps of it's members. YOU joined this club. The fact is, you will be finding most members are just not interested in your viewpoint as it has no basis or merit for being in this forum.
You sound like an attention starved soul. I suggest you find a new hobby.
why you read 89 pages of reviews... I gotta think you picked up a THEME after about the 12th or 13th page.
ok, so you paid for a membership and then whine 'cuz there are bunches of reviews. What were you expecting to find? Recepies?
I just don't get it. Honestly - I must be missing something.
I spoke with (I never admit to seeing anyone unless they post about it, just for the record because my motto is discretion, quality and value). Anyway, this very nice gent named Peter and I had a discussion about reviews, good and bad ones (as in tell all and the gents who are not so detailed).
He was indeed a joy to speak to, and I don't think he was picking on anyone by starting this thread. I think as a new member he may be trying to understand what the ladies prefer, and at the same time understand proper posting etiquette.
I can assure you he is a first class gent so be nice to him. He is just trying to learn!
Hugs, Kate xo
One thing I will add is that there should be just one review per hobbyist per provider. This is a TER rule; see #8 on http://theeroticreview.com/reviews/review_info.html . I am familiar with this as I have run up against this issue when I tried to post multiple postings of the same provider -- updates are OK; but having multiple reviews by one hobbyist is not. IMHO, Staff and/or Blur should remove any dupes.
-Hoot.
Now that the dust has settled, I will respond to some of the comments. First, I would like to thank VixenKate for her most gracious remarks. In the brief time that I spoke with her it became readily apparent that she is quite an intelligent and perceptive person. Second, I would like to congratulate Villagegirl and Richard1945 for their rational and civilized comments. The comments that did not contribute anything to the discussion, particularly the one-or-two liners, speak for themselves. In no way did my original post suggest any form of censonship in the discussions and the reviews. To those of you that may have missed it my post made several points. First, I severely questioned the need to include details on page two that do not add any further information to a hobbyist deciding whether or not to see a particular provider. Second, when you post these and other details, I would suggest it is done without the approval of the provider. As far as I am concerned, this constitutes invasion of privacy. Why? When you meet with a provider, there are no other persons (unless a third person is invited) present, it is not done publically, and there is no audience. In a meeting like this there is the implicit assumption of privacy. When the play-by-play is posted on page two privacy is lost and the provider cannot do anything about it (other than not seeing you again, but that is not a real solution) because it happens after the fact of the meeting. As a matter of personal choice, I am not interested in compromising another person's privacy, and I know that some of you have no qualms about doing this. Its just that if you are not aware of it, this is what is actually taking place. Third, I made the suggestion of a real radical idea, that on the other hand if you honor this privacy, it just might get you mileage in repeat visits that would otherwise not be available. Where do I get this idea? From experience. When I meet with a provider I make it very clear that I will never discuss the activities with any other person, or even that the meeting ever took place. This information I hold in complete discretion for an indefinate period of time. If a provider were to request of me that I make the meeting public by posting a review in a forum such as this, I would be more than happy to do so. I have yet to receive such a request from a provider.
As to the eighty nine pages of reviews that I carefully read, I read them for two reasons. First, to see patterns of activities, and the nature of the reviews. As to having time to read the reviews, I must admit that winter provides with the time that I would otherwise spend enjoying a variety of outdoor activities, among which is riding my two Harley-Davidsons and my restored vintage Indian motorcycle in the country lanes of upstate NY. As has been pointed out some reviews do not appear to be truthful, particularly those where a provider has a single positive review. While it is possible, I find it highly suspect. All the reviews are detailed on page two, but the vast majority of them contain a large number of "Don't Know" on page one. When a hobbyist from this forum sees a provider, most of the time they know before hand that they will write a review. As such, it is their responsibility to their fellow hobbyist to fully include all the information noted on page one. There are subtle ways of asking a provider this info, it does not have to come across as if you are filling out a questionnaire. To do anything less than this is to do a disservice to other members of this forum. I can assure you that if I were writing a review (subject to the conditions noted in the previous paragraph) this information would be included. To those that suggested I get a life, I can assure you I am quite busy with a whole range of activities. To the writer that suggested that I was a frustrated English teacher, nothing could be farther from fact as I am a successful professional in the visual arts. As for the Harvard Business Review, I have never read it. However, I will admit that one of my faults is writing and expressing myself in the most eloquent manner that I can, in spite of the fact that English is not my native language. In conclusion I would like to thank those that have made this exchange a memorable experience and to add that on the whole this forum generally conducts itself at a much more civilized level of of discourse than other forums of this type (without naming names) which most of us are familiar with.
You really like to hear yourself!!!!!!!!!
A couple of comments:
1. From what I discern, the "Page 1" information was created by the first person that reviewed the provider. Maybe there should be a separate "Page 1" for every post. Certainly provider attitudes and services change over time - AND - I've seen this on a number of occasions... the first person to review was either a shill or liar. It really helps to read a paragraph or two to get a feel for what is actually happening. Hey, I'm paying good money, and some of the women are cheats and thieves... Fore armed is fore skinned (or something like that - LOL)
2. As for an invasion of privacy??? C'mon - you can't be serious. This is their career. There have been many many threads on different city boards on this topic (to review or not / to be graphic or not). The overwhelming response from providers is YES PLEASE REVIEW --- as long as you're honest.
Now, if this is the truth, am I lying?
--Dennis Hopper, True Romance
If this is the truth, what's your point?
--Shelter, TER
even though I am a San Diego provider (S&M and massage only) and I would like to answer you.
Peter, I have been a dominatrix for five years pursuing the traditional forms of advertising in trade magazines, weekly ads, internet bulletin boards, adult hot lists, click-through and banner ads. It is only since last year I went to massage school to learn how to do massage. I have now been doing FBSM for almost a year now. I do not advertise ANYWHERE for massage. My advertising budget is zero, nada, zilch. And yet, I get constant e-mails and calls for massage appts. How, you say? Only from The Erotic Review.
And every time I get a new review, ESPECIALLY if it is from a well known poster who has lots of reviews, the number of calls double. Now, I only work part time because I am a full time nursing student and mom, but I would estimate I get about 80% of my business from The Erotic Review. Not bad for some FREE advertising. Not only that, but The Erotic Review offers a RevShare program where I put a link on my site, if guys click it to read my reviews and subsequently buy TER VIP membership, I get a check. So not only does TER allow me to earn thousands of dollars of business per month, I also get a small check in the mail from their RevShare program.
So you asked to hear a provider's opinion - here it is: TER reviews are an invaluable free marketing tool. Sure, after you have four pages of them, it becomes a bit monotonous but I have guys who have read every single one of my reviews, they say "What about that thing you did to XYZ guy?" or "Do you have those red vinyl boots you wore for ABC guy?"
I love TER so much I pay the $50 per quarter. I am happy to buy VIP membership and contribute that small amount to a resource that helps me bring in so much income and brings me such nice, clean, polite clients who know exactly how much I charge but also exactly what to expect and what not to expect from me. And that makes things easier for all of us.
MM
-- Modified on 1/25/2003 3:30:23 PM