Lately I have gotten request for appointments but after asking for references they either dont have any or have a story behind why I cannot contact them. Im just curious, is this a common thing here in NY? that most clients dont have references? How does a provider verify a client if she does not communicate with another provider saying if they are okay and any other useful info about him? Ive heard before of girls doing work verification but cant that be made up by anyone? Can someone please give some input!
Hi There
References checks and vouching is a painful process.
Alle
I completely understand. Hell I hold a full time job outside of this and when Im asked about a client I try to reply quickly. But its not so much as the responses, its more of the guys NOT having references. Why do we (providers) have websites and profiles if all guys see is the pics and the rates?
But Im just wondering is this how things are done here in NY? Where providers just dont care about checking references and go just off of how they feel? To me, I feel thats why most of these busts go down because we do not take the time to verify people. But its just becoming more annoying for clients not to take the time to ready my website or even my ads which clearly states what they must do to book a appt.
Keep in mind that you can't rely on the 100%, I do check them but I keep in mind that some girls may just say "he is ok" to get it out of their mailbox. I take references very serious and would do my best to be explicit and explanatory . Unless I know the lady in question or I had established a good rapport with her, pretty much they don't mean much. I thinks as providers, we need to look at the entire picture (employment, absence from the national blacklist, attitude on the phone, ability to hold an intelligent conversation, ability to write a well constructed email etc.) in order to determine whether or not he gets the green light. I construct my case around those and build in the references. Here in Florida, providers are very "reference friendly" but once again, depends on how much weight you give to those and how recent they are.
Yes I do agree that references are not 100% accurate. And I do also agree on how the client interacts with you. Although, sometimes I do not have all the time in the world to go back n forth through emails or pms. As far as job verification, I do not rely or even ask for that because that can be completely true or false. I do mostly rely on provider references and also check on the providers stats as well. But like I said Im not upset with providers not responding to me for a reference check. Im more so concerned with why clients have NO references period. In that case, do you solely base this honesty off of a job verification and how he interacts with you? Sorry but I do not believe in just that....I want to know that clients have seen a provider and if at least the session went well or something happened.
Save this kind of conversation for the TER Ladies Private Board
I'm in NYC and I use a plethora of screening methods!! I do tend to get quite a few first time clients for some reason and I use several other methods when that is the case.
Use every resource you have and keep safe! I'm happy to give you a reference anytime, and assure my clients that even when I am on vacation, I still give refs.
Good luck to you!
Anna Faire xx
Thanks Anna...from one provider to another, I do appreciate when we stick together and have each others' back. I think thats what makes the hobby safe!
When I started out in this wonderful little niche culture of ours, I didn't have any references. I didn't know enough to know that not having references was supposed to be a big deal. I got lucky. I sent a request for a first meetup to a provider who was then ranked #1 in another city, and probably top 10 nationwide. I just put it out there, disclosed who I was, gave a couple of places to look for me on the 'net (*not* Facebook--"real" places). She said ok, and that was that. I follow the same procedure now--never been turned down for an appointment (except for inability to resolve schedules or similar--but no turn-downs "on the merits").
Do I offer references now when I want to meet someone new? Sure. In my interactions with providers whom I see regularly, eventually my curiosity gets the best of me and I ask how I was "vetted" originally. Most of the time, I'm told, "I just went with my gut. You seemed nice, you wrote in a clever and literate way," etc.
I didn't know enough to know that I was supposed to care about TER whitelists and P411 and the like. It's probably just as well that I didn't. If I had, I might have been so intimidated that I wouldn't have made the attempt.
I don't know what to tell you, Maria. References are great; I understand how all other things being equal, you'd prefer the new client with references over one without. However, how are new hobbyists supposed to meet wonderful and exciting women? Was I supposed to "work my way up through the minor leagues", seeing trashy BP and Craig's List women first? I never would have subjected myself to that. I'm a man of a certain age and a certain amount of means; that also means I'm not going to waste time "paying my dues" before I can meet some of the high quality indy women on TER.
They always tell us guys to consider TOFTT from time to time. I know it's probably higher risk for you, but maybe providers have to TOFTT occasionally also?
I do get that....I was once new too in the hobby. I started off as a backpage girl and just learned the hobby as I went along. Though I think most people are understanding me wrong with this topic. See I started off in the hobby down in TX (dallas). Things are a lot different down there, there's always these new girls popping up and you would meet some good guys and some bad guys. I felt there were a lot more dangerous things to watch out for down there. Now that Ive been here for a year, I do find that this is the best city I have ever hobbied in so far. I have met nothing but kind people from providers to clients. Therefore, I just didnt understand why there were so many clients lately asking for appointments w/o references. There was even one case one I did ask a guy for some kind of verification aside from references and never heard back from him. Im just becoming a little frustrated at how many clients do not take the time to read about me and consider the things needed to make an appointment. Though they will surely look at my pictures. Im just thinking, if I did want to have a shot at making a appointment with someone that does require references, the first thing I would bring up is the fact that I do not have references and say what you can do for verification. Not go on with a 20-30 min conversation for me to find out you either have no references or they are references that are no longer able to be reached. We have all had those moments where you feel like this would have went a lot smoother if a person would just be upfront and honest.
But through this whole thread, I do see the difference from here and TX. That screening a client can be more than just references. So, I do appreciate the help from providers and clients!
A hobbyist TOFTT could lead to him getting someone not in the picture, or unenthusiastic service. A provider TOFTT could mean she gets killed. I'll pass on taking one for the team. I know some providers screen purely based on instinct, but I'll never be one of them.
I did qualify my remark, saying that I knew the risks were higher. And I don't think I was suggesting this as the norm--just that if one's "feel" were all going in one way then perhaps the instincts might be correct.
Like I said, the only times I have knowingly been screened have been by women relatively new to the biz--and I passed those with flying colors--it's admittedly difficult for me to place myself in the position of newbie hobbyist or provider and relate to their unique problems in acquiring "cred".
And hey Robin: haven't forgotten about you at all. Check your email in the next day or so....
out of touch with reality?
Sx
I am in close contact with the women that are my references, and I have found that when I have used them as references, they have actually been contacted maybe 10% of the time.
Maybe it's just that I have an honest face. 