I've had a few instances where guys or gals have uttered zingers, unintentional hilarity and other things that make me go "LOL".

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Do you have any? If so, please post and entertain us!

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Here are a few that come to mind.

- On her way to our incall for a 2-hr session, running late from a hair styling, my friend emailed: "I'm getting on the F train now". A bit early, yes, but accurate.  

- During a debate over the believability of providers who emphasize their "low volume" status, and the concept of sexual sobriety, a buddy quipped: "Dude: All hoes are freshly fucked!"

- This week I referred a buddy to high potential newbie provider visiting from SF who is part of a group of ladies who promote themselves through a common website. He cautioned that it looked like an agency. I countered that it seemed more like a collective. His response: "Yeah, a collective of ho's workin for a pimp."

- A buddy and I were exchanging stories of the nastiest comments we've heard providers say during a session. The winner? "Just don't cum in my ass."

- There's one guy whose handle is "12inchesthick". I thought it was a typo, that he meant to write 12 inches long. My buddy said: "Shit, my thighs aren't even 12 inches thick!"

- A very young newbie provider emailed me after a great session seeking a follow-up date. I replied that I'd love to but really need DFK and she did not provide that. Her actual response: "I will work on my DFK, think it's already much improved, and let you know when I'm ready for a re-match!"

-- Modified on 9/20/2013 2:50:03 PM

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"A collective of ho's working for a pimp" was by far the best one! Haha!!!

"I love your Nigg#* Cock!

I've shared these moments in the past but what the fuck.
1) My first session with Chloe Carter starts with her saying that when it's over she's going to by my ATF.  Then, part way through a superb BBBJ she looks up at me and says, "I wanna be your ATM." I started laughing and assured her she could start spewing cash at me any time.
2) My first session with Kendall Lynn starts with her telling me, "I want to be your ass whore."
3) Later in the same session, Miss K. topped it.  I was balls-deep in her ass in mish when she reached into her pussy with several fingers and started to massage my cock through the wall between her pussy and asshole.  Then she looked up and me and said, "I'm jerking you off in my ass!"
4) I'm in this weird new position underneath Naughty Natalie, seated on a motel bed with her above me, one foot on the bed, one foot on the floor and both hands on the dressing table across from the bed (hard to picture, I know).  Nat is pounding away and then pants, "I think I just invented a new position."  I asked her what she should call it and she pants out, "Spider Monkey!"
5) I'm in Vegas, having just had an afternoon session with the bodacious Chloe C in which I was fucking her ass from behind, standing at the edge of her bed when she squired a huge amount on me, basically hosing down the entire lower half of my body.  Things were moving fast and I had no chance to shower.  Then I ended up at dinner with a couple of amazing French Canadian girls and took one of them back to my room.  I told her what had happened with Chloe and that I had to jump in the shower.  She said in her charming French accent, "Wait a meen-oot, let me check." Then she starts sniffing away at my lower half like a dog sniffing a fire hydrant.  She surfaced with a smile and told me, "No.  Eezz OK!"  And then started sucking away.

-- Modified on 9/20/2013 3:09:19 PM

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Tall and athletic, with a bikini-model's body.  Later on I had her standing up against a full-length mirror in the hallway between the bathroom and bedroom.  I was pounding away in standing dog and she started pounding right back.  I thought to myself, "Holy shit!  This girl could put me through the wall!"  And you should have seen her friend! Totally hot.  This leads to another story.
Later that week it was my birthday.  I and a friend (you know him and he was at the M&G wearing his signature fedora) took them to the Spearmint Rhino.  Many lap dances later, we're in a cab outside the place and the bikini model's friend is in the front seat.  She starts talking to the driver, then asks him if he's got a big dick.  He says he hasn't had any complaints, so she reaches over to check and starts massaging his cock through his trouser leg.  Then, out of the blue, she starts yelling, "I want some COCK!  I want some COCK!!!"  She got some later.  Best birthday ever.

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The bikini model was previously at a now shuttered agency using the name Emanuelle.  Here's a shot the agency used.  A very close likeness

The one who was yelling, "I want some COCK!"  You should have seen the two of them scissoring to several orgasms.  As I said, best birthday ever.  Emanuelle was with TLC for a while but now I don't know who she's with.  Same goes for Andrea, though I do have their phone #s

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I just finished an hour of olympic sex with a very hot young Quebecoise and as I was getting dressed she says to me, "can you tell me where the good lesbian bars are in NYC"?

Guess my performance wasn't that great! LOL

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Thank you for the mention Nicky See you soon ! Kendall Lynn

I was fucking jenniferXJ6 from behind and she started yelling, "I LOVE you!  I LOVE you!  MARRY me!  MARRY me!"
Will someone out there tell me she used that one on you, too?