Hope to see you soon!

Now that I'm getting a little older, and know what I want I am definitely the kind of guy who prefers to be a "regular". I have 3-4 people I like or have clicked with and prefer to see. For me I just find that if you "click" with someone, they are less worried you are a "psycho" and it increases the YMMV category. Other benefits I find are if they are really good they remember what you like/dislike and the session is more tailored to you. A last benefit for me to being a regular is you can talk to them. For me being able to carry on a conversation and not make me feel like a customer at a drive thru line at the fast food window is important.

The downside of seeing regulars is if you get a little too "attached" the provider gets spooked and stops taking your calls. Again now that I'm a bit older I realize that even when it's a really good session,even if you become a friend in addition to a client, obsessing over someone is just bad for both parties. You need to keep some perspective.

That said as a rule I try to experiment and see at least one new person a month, providers are unavailable, take a break, retire, travel, or just move on. I found that if you only see one person, and they go "off the grid" it's harder to deal with. The longest I was ever a regular with one person was 3 years, but she moved on.

I've spoken with a few ladies I am friendly with and most say it's about a 50/50 split between regulars and new clients. They hope the new clients become regulars, but thats not going to happen. Some people are in it for the variety, and it's important not to take it personally if someone doesn't become a regular.

So for the ladies and the men, where do you stand on the "regulars" issue and any insight you have to share?

My current ratio is about 75% regulars and 25% new friends.   I very much enjoy the friendships, increased understanding of what makes each of us 'tick', and safety of keeping my circle of friends small - but I also enjoy that different kind of excitement that comes from meeting someone new.  I do think it's best for both sides of the equation not to become too attached (read: dependent on) one particular person.  As with everything in life, change happens... and when it does, being diversified helps keep the losses in check.

since you are a provider I have to imagine regulars getting "attached" to you is one of the downsides of having regulars. Is it something that happens often?

Obviously the best situation is when you can talk with the client and tell them you think they are getting too attached. I understand everyone is different and has different boundaries, but any warning signs us guys can be on the lookout for that we are approaching or have crossed the line?

I have been with some ladies who have said I'm here all week/or for the next 7 days, but for me seeing the same person that frequently is probably a warning sign. There are exceptions of course ... like that one PSE I had with a porn star while I was in Vegas for a trade show. I really wish I had seen her at the beginning of the trip instead of the end, cause I definitely would have made a second booking.

But for me wanting to see someone twice in a 7 day period, unless there are some extenuating circumstances, is a big blinking danger sign.

First of all, I see both new girls and regulars.  Even though I love my regulars, often I find myself looking for new.  Part of being a guy, I guess.

But, on something else you said...  I have seen some of those ATF's for several years.  They never stopped taking my calls.  You can be a regular without getting attached and spooky.  That is not a normal danger of being a regular.  That is a more symptomatic of being an unbalanced stalker, and it can happen after 1 visit, or even after meeting, but never "dating".

I like both, for different reasons. Most of the clients I have seen regularly, have become like friends. Not only do I enjoy their company, but there's no anxiety whatsoever about safety, etc. I do get anxious sometimes with new clients...will he like me, will he be nice, will he NCNS (has never happened to me, but I get especially anxious if there is travel involved or if I have to book the accommodations). But, every new face is a new adventure, and the anticipation, the novelty, and the possibility of a fantastic time... can be exhilarating

I do agree with Waterclone that the situation you describe is unusual...I have had similar situations, as I am sure most girls have, but nothing so extreme. I do have to comment that, on those occasions when I have felt that a client has crossed the line, some of the responsibility has been mine. There is a fine line between showing a client some extra appreciation, and sending him the wrong signals. When I have chosen to extend let a client stay past his time, or have done something similar, the client has gotten a bit carried away...on the other hand, though, it's hard to be 'too businesslike' and hurt a nice guy's feelings...not a great way to thank him for being a great client It's a very tough balance to strike. It's a constant struggle, and no two situations are alike. Yet, some clients seem to 'get it'...maybe a few of them will speak up and share their perspectives with you

Best of luck

I like to maintain 80 percent of my business from repeat friends and 20 from new.

Lina

Thanks for the reply's and I'd like to back up and explain a bit.

I work on the internet all day and in-depth research is one of my specialty skills. Amongst my peers the behavior is considered quite normal, and even an accomplishment and highly respected skill. The rest of the world sometimes gets a little creeped out by this, and I totally get it. For example if you met someone at party and he commented that your windows and doors made it easy for people to break into your house and rob you, you might get a little spooked. If you learned he installs home alarms for a living, and that he wasn't casing your house, it was just some reflex observations he made and was trying to be helpful, it's a completely different story.

For example I regularly dump my phone contacts through some software that matches the email/phone numbers up with facebook profiles and other social media sites. I've been surprised how many providers co-mingle that info and I've learned their real names. I posted about it here like 2 years ago

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=150247&boardID=2&page=

When it happens if it's someone I'm seeing semi-regularly I let them know, I'm not going to intrude in someone's personal life, but I can't speak for others, and someone's personal safety is not a joke or something to be trifled with, and I really am trying to do the right thing. But everyone has a different line for what they consider a personal invasion. If you thought you had isolated yourself and your family from this lifestyle only to learn you didn't, that can be upsetting. In some cases they felt I had gone too far, in other cases it was more of a shoot the messenger reaction. I've been in this hobby off and for close to a decade, I've made some mistakes on the way, and hopefully learned from them.

If you've been in the scene for a while, early on there might have been one or two people you got a little too attached to. The question is did you learn from that mistake ... I like to think I did ... hopefully someone reading this can learn from some of my mistakes without having to experience them first hand.

I've been fortunate enough to only have had 2 cases of 'unhealthy' attachment in 8 years...  One was a rather scary stalker experience that lasted 2 years after I cut him off, and the other was much milder... The "L" word was used, an exclusive arrangement was discussed, and then he decided that it would be better if he simply disappeared rather than explore the situation further.  I am not opposed to deep, intimate, exclusive arrangements (have had long periods of SD/exclusive things before and they can be wonderful) but there does need to be the basic understanding that this is NOT a civilian relationship and that even with the more intense connection, there are still boundaries involved.  I am not going to encourage someone to leave their SO, I am not going to be 'unsafe', I am not going to live with someone and I am not going to commit to more than a contractual timeframe for exclusivity.

Warning signs are as individual as the people involved, but I'd agree that seeing someone 'too frequently' (whatever that means) can be an indicator.  Often, it's more of a vibe thing either party starts to get rather than a particular set of circumstances.