I want to know is it weird? I have always taken the approach that if I felt for any reason not a match I would kindly say I think it best you find a lovely lady that will work for you. I don't understand how that in anyway is mean???? I am a passionate woman and think that the man I am passionate with should enjoy himself not be taken for personal gain. So there have been a couple of times I have had to take that avenue. Do you think that warrants someone to constantly send you crazy emails, texts and say things that make you feel uncomfortable to were you remove your site? If I was mean please tell me, I thought it was the right upstanding thing to do should you for any reason not feel a connection.

I mean for me when I meet someone and share special moments I want to let down any guard and go wild and crazy. There has to be passion and I can tell in the first conversation if that is the case. I noticed the only times I haven't had that connection the person is very pushy and almost a drill sergeant I am not a robot, actress, soldier nor fake. I am a woman who truly enjoys intimacy when its natural.

I agree a connection should definitely be made. And yes, one can usually tell by the inital phone call. But, one comment was made that made me wonder. The comment being about "after being screened and confdirmed". Something must have gone wrong with the screening. Bad reference, screening came back as flagged. Something. I can't imagine a provider going through the trouble of screening someone and then thinking they are just not the right fit.

Blake, you sound like me, you want to have the best time possible without drama. SOme people do not take rejection well, but you are saving them the time of a "just ok" session. SOme need to realise this.  There providers out there that want to have a great time even though it is a business. I like to leave a gentleman knowing WE just had a great time.

I guess we are like every other business, "we have the right to refuse service to anyone".

As far as the gentleman who spoke of his reg getting annoyed he was not as available as she would like? Really? YOU are paying her, maybe its time you reminded her of that fact. Examine your "so called relationship" with her. Is she having feeelings for you that should not be had?

I believe that when anyone is not happy, him or her, it is time to move on. Its just business, and good business. The point is to have a good time while two people are together.

Blake, stick to your guns, its worked out sofar for you correct? You know what you are doing, don't doubt yourself now.

Just my 2 cents

At the end of day, the game is uniquely theirs...

As fpr providers, the same advice applies with a necessary adjustment.  This is your profession, whether primary, secondary, tertiary, etc.  You should only see, and do business, with clients that you feel comfortable with, and where at the end of the day, it's likely/going to be a win/win for both parties.  This isn't advice that's particular to the hobby, but rather covers the entire business spectrum.

First and foremost, nothing (and I mean NOTHING) justifies crazy email, texts, etc. This activity has enough drama. Disappointment needs to be dealt with with discretion and maturity. That goes for both hobbyists and providers.

You, Blake, are certainly within your boundaries to suggest a client leave or not contact you if you find him so objectionable. Surely, you recognize that your clients enjoy the same privilege. If you resort to something like that, you should be prepared to receive a fairly negative review. And, when it's posted, not resort to crazy responses yourself. After all, the customer is paying for service. That's the nature of the implicit contract you're making.

Finally, maybe the summer heat spell and challenging economy are causing brain cells to melt or go haywire. I've been hearing more and more stories about nut cases of late. It's disturbing.

Dear Blake, you are 100 % right. Actually you are the only type of person I would like to see. May be one day. Cheers!

1.  Any correspondence must be professional and devoid of drama.

2.  It goes both ways.  A provider is offering something.  A client is paying for something.  Only when the two terms are amenable does a transaction result.  There are stipulations on both sides.  A client is agreeing to the terms set forth.  That could be mean a list of expected services that the woman provides.  And a provider is expecting the client to adhere to her stipulations (for example, being discreet, confirming at a particular point in time, arriving clean and fresh, etc.)

3.  Last-minute cancellations are never taken well, and each side needs to see the other side.  I had an UTR girl who I have been seeing for a few months now on an almost-weekly basis start to get a bit too demanding with my time.  For example, we have been unable to meet the last few weekends because of various issues in my schedule.  And she usually comes over for about three hours and charges me some ridiculously low rate without watching the clock.  This last week seemed ideal to meet, as my work schedule was curtailed.  I proposed Tuesday night or Wednesday night.  She said she was busy, so I said, "Okay, another day."  Wednesday afternoon she asks me if I'm free, and of course I have made other plans.  She seemed to be disappointed, but she didn't understand that this is last-minute for me, and I don't spend all my time with her, but I had to be clear about needing a heads-up before planning anything.  Anyway, it's a long way of saying...be delicate and understanding to the other side.

4.  Having been the recipient of a last-minute cancellation one time by another girl who said, "I don't think we are a good fit," after having been screened, booked, and confirmed, I wasn't really happy, either.  However, these things happen.  No need to trash her on the boards or write a bad review--well, because the session never happened!  But I imagine that with many other guys, if they were really looking forward to a session and had been planning around it...well, that could be a big disappointment, especially if they had to do some major juggling to see you.

5.  Good communication is always appreciated.  I scheduled a session with a provider tonight over two weeks ago.  She went on vacation the last week, and we corresponded once.  It is almost 10:45 am on the day of the appointment, and I still haven't received responses to my last two emails about a time and place.  This one may very well end badly.  It sucks, but I will deal with it professionally if that's the outcome.

I've missed your posts!  I will email you as I'm concerned who would behave like that.  However, you got some excellent advice on your post and all I can say is ditto to them all!

You also are not required to see who you do not wish to see.  That goes for the gents too.  This is still America...

Fondly,
Octavia

As far as being "screened and confirmed," we did in fact set a date.  I don't know if something else came up in the screening, or whether she saw that most of my reviews are usually around 8/8, whereas her reviews were predominantly 9s and 10s.  It would not be the first time that a provider has gotten upset because she felt a higher score was justified.

Which kinda brings me to another topic...an 8 is not a bad score.  In fact, it's a very good score.

As a client, when I'm doing my research, I do a quick glance of the numbers.  If I see the occasional 7, I'll read up on the review there, and I will also then search the other reviewer's reviews to see what his trend is.  Chances are good that I will find a girl that he reviewed that I have seen or know about, so it's not difficult to "index" his scoring to my own sense of what the score would be to me.

Other than that, if I see 8s and above as a general rule, I'll be interested enough to do a little more research.

Too many providers here get so hung up on numbers.  To me, an 8 or above is a great score, and I honestly don't know of any hobbyists will won't see a girl because she has an 8 in a series of 10s and 9s.  If anything, my hobbying brethren seem to have indicated that the 8 is probably a more realistic score than the string of 9s or 10s.

And of course, all 10/10s always brings up the issue of, "Is she doing BBFS to get those scores?"

Back to the topic...given that I was confirmed with a session date and time, I would imagine that her screening was not the issue.  Maybe it was that I mentioned that I really like to DATY, and her earlier reviews at that time indicated that wasn't her favorite thing.  Strangely enough, her recent few pages of reviews all indicate that she loves that.

But whatever...I wasn't happy about the last-minute cancellation, but it happens.  She is entitled to see who she wants to see, and I didn't make the cut.

I was the gentleman talking about the regular getting annoyed, as well.  Well, I'm a nice guy by nature, so I didn't want to go there.  I told her it's better if we meet earlier during the week.  That way, if she decides she wants to stay for three hours, then I can get to sleep by a reasonable time.

I din't mean anything negative by any means. I understand where you are coming from as far as the numbers thing goes. I have seen women and men get hung up on them to. I can understand that as well. This, as providers, is our business, and like any business, we want good recomendations. Kind of like the local dry cleaning. His or her business depends on word of mouth much like our reviews. I can easily see both sides of the coin as far as 8/8's go and as far as 10/10 goes. But remember, each session is different to each player. If you have never given higher then an 8/8, I believe that is because you have yet to meet the woman who has taken you "over the edge" as it were to recieve that 10/10. And yes, there are providers who will not see a gentleman if they think he has a history of low scoring, esepecially if said provider has seen a gentlemen of two of said provider who recieved an 8/8.
They do not feel the fit is well.  But I also don't believe that every provider who gets a 10/10 gives bbfs. I am sure some do, but not all. SOme providers, myself and apparently Blakeastor, love what we do and have a wonderful time doing it. So, a provider who gets a 10 for looks because she looks like she belongs on SI swim suit cover and loves what she does, deseverves a 10/10.

Unfortunately, it was the gentlemen who have established on their own, and im sure without much proof, that she (noone in particular) does bbfs and thats why she gets 10/10.  

I am too blunt as many would say. I am always honest and I tend to say exactly what I am thinking without hurting someones feelings. I am not into hurting anyones feelings.

WIth that being said, it was just my opinion on what I said earlier. I worry sometimes when I hear a provider taking advantage of her clientel, the same as when I worry a hobbyiest is taking advantage of a providers time or her personal info.

I believe that when something isnt working out, instead of just sucking it up and not being happy..l its time to move on is all I meant.

I love a client who does his research and knows exactly what he wants and how he wants it. I like blunt without rudeness. In this hobby, it is a business venture for both sides. When I go shopping, I expect to get what I paid for and nothing less. Why would I expect a hobbyiest to feel differently. But homework is the key word.

But always remember, beauty and play time and their scores are in the hands of that particular hobbyiest. ANd each of us is different in our own way..which is what makes p4p so much fun!!
Variety!

Yeah, to me a 10/10 is really not possible...well, not unless I wanted to spend $2000/hour on someone who was screened so carefully that we were able to engage in BBFS or something.  And that's not realistic in this environment we live in!  

Everyone has his own scoring system, and for me, I use the notion that 5 is average.  Anything about 5 is above average, and 10 is basically perfection.  Many of the women who are scored as 10 in appearance...well, I just don't see it.  That's not to say that there aren't attractive women out there, but in my subjective book, a girl would need to look like Kate Upton for me to give her a 10.  But that's just me.

A 10 for performance is really hard to get from me.  A woman loving what she does and giving a great session MIGHT get a 10 in some rare exceptions, but the truth is that most of the women I have seen really enjoy the session.  A 10 is a session that would be so memorable...well, I would probably need to extend the time right there, or book again immediately for the same or following day.  Or one that I would gladly hop on a flight to see in her own home city.  I haven't really found that yet.

Blunt is fine with me.  I am the same.

Oh, and on the provider that I was confirmed for today...just got an email saying she had a family emergency, which is fine.  I guess I wish she would have told me this a little earlier than 12:30 pm on the day that we had a 5 pm (time was tentative) appointment.  I had to send three emails before getting a response, with the final one saying..."I will keep the time open, but if I don't hear from you, I will assume you changed your mind or something came up."

Only then did she respond.  One part tells me that she got a better offer away (multiple hours), while another part thinks she really did have an emergency.  I think it's the latter, but of course being a NY-er makes you think the worst in people at times.

I feel kindness is key. Why make the other person feel like dog poo? If you dot want to see a guy again or at all just say sorry "busy". Or don't respond at all. Sooner or letter he will get the hint and he will move on to the next hottie. If he hasn't jumped off a bridge. Lol just kidding.

This is a people business, moreso than any other business so far.  You are getting naked and getting intimate with another person, and sometimes that just doesn't click with two people.

Short of someone being robbed, outed, or otherwise put in harm's way, there is really no reason to be mean or denigrating to another person.

It sucks when we spend money on a provider that we hope we are gonna click with, and then walk away feeling like that money would have been better spent.  However, that's part of the risk we take when we make these decisions.  TER reviews help to hedge out the risk, but in the end, there is always the possibility two people don't connect.

A little respect goes a long way.  Always.

I definitely agree. If you do not feel comfortable and know that it will not be time well spent by either of u then u should be honest!

Its your body and your business and you can do whatever the heck you want with it. Same goes for guys if you meet the girl and not feeling it have to just tell her not what you expected and walk. Def sucks if your willing to pay to play and get shut down but dudes just gotta get over it.

Hi Blake,

I agree that if you don't think the session, or guy, is for you that you should politely decline. It's shocking to see how people might react to that. At the end of the day, it is better to let them react how they will vs going through with something that will make you uncomfortable. If you go through with it, it will likely lead to a bad time and bad reviews and hurt your psyche and business as time goes on.

Especially since your situation doesn't seen to have been last minute, you were in the right here. I agree completely with your sentiments. We are passionate women who want to have a passionate time with somebody. If you don't feel comfortable enough to let loose and get crazy, then it's not right since it won't be fun. Being crazy with one person can't guarantee you'll be crazy with the next. It has to be a good combination of chemistry and comfortableness.

Try to stick to your guns on not doing anything that makes you uncomfortable. That could only lead to worse situations.

Kiss me,

Kate