Yes! Fortitude will pick the winner.

If he cannot he will appoint a responsible party - we hope

The subject line must start with New York Confidential,and is 50% of your score.  The objective is to make Mr. F. laugh out loud.

The content of your message must be about NYConfi & be funny!

Your entry must be a response to this thread.

The contest ends 24hours after this POST hits page 2.

This contests honors F O R T I T U D E, and the amazing job he's been doing!



-- Modified on 2/15/2004 10:15:41 PM

(sung to the tune of "Fascinatin' Rhythm," with infinite apologies to George and Ira Gershwin -- and Fortitude!)

New York Confidential,
You got me on the go.
New York Confidential
I’m all aquiver.

With your women lovely,
Asparkle and aglow.
New York Confidential
You sure deliver.

Each day I’m hoping you’re in the mood
(Full of bliss and girls for kissin’
And my libido’s like Fortitude
(Standin’ tall and reminiscin’)

‘Bout the many women
He’s had the joy to know
And the total pleasure
He’s always gives ‘em.

Girls who’ve been with Forti
They give the highest score
To this fellow sporty
With class to his core.

Oh, how long I to be
In Forti’s shoes.
New York Confidential
I’m falling in love with you.


-- Modified on 2/15/2004 10:36:59 PM

-- Modified on 2/15/2004 10:38:03 PM

The contest is on - please enter

with apologies to Francis Albert Sinatra!

Start spreading her legs, I'll be coming today
I want to be a part of it, New York (Confidential), New York (Confidential)!
I'm hoping that I won't have to pay
Come and jumpstart my heart, New York (Confidential), New York (Confidential)!

I wanna wake up, next to Joelle, after a night of little sleep
And find Summer and Callie there too, all in a heap!

I'm sure that winning the contest, will brighten my day
These fine young ladies, from old New York (Confidential)
If I can last the night, I'll have reached new heights
It's up to you, New York (Confidential), New York (Confidential)

New York (Confidential), New York (Confidential)
I wanna wake up, next to Joelle, after a night of little sleep
And find that NY Confidential is A Number One, Top of the List, King of the Hill, AAAAAAA Number One....

I'm sure that winning the contest, will brighten my day
These fine young ladies, from old New York (Confidential)
If I can last the night, I'll have reached new heights
It's up to you, New York (Confidential), New York (Confidential)!!!!!!

NY Confidential admired from a distance
Never had a chance to taste your wares
Cause it means, shleeping to city
Just for some shaved kitty
And nestling my head between two gorgeous pairs

But now I know that you’ve got fortitude
A fine looking specimen one hell of a dude
His tool may measure three but you have his guarantee
That it beats Purina for good cat food

I heard about a guy who was one hell of a prude
A nice little fella who’d never been screwed
But at NY confidential, he realized his potential
To finish the story well, that would just be crude
(but he did with the helping hand of Fortitude)

... that I was the one who started this whole song/poem thing. X-tra points for initiative!

then there are the lyrics...but what's really missing is the contestant's voice.Sedona, will have to figure out a way to hear them.T..Can you carry a tune?...lol

Remember, its not over until the fat lady sings.

Cheers!

THIS IS MY ENTRY - HULINGS

perhps in a D minor chord....

new york confidential standing high above the crowd
just like Homer Simpson makes Fortitude laugh out loud
the best two-one-two providing just super special service
the best of all worlds, so there's no need to be nervous

manhattan island angels seemingly adventurous to please
inside with warm smiling faces, while outside i tend to freeze
fortitude means "courage in pain or perhaps adversity"
with a sweet job like Fortitudes, man i wish they'd replace him with me !

New York Confidential and confidence they do inspire
while others set the standard, Confidential takes it higher
just better with the brains and stellar with the beauty
i may not be enlisted but i'm prepared to do my duty

i'm sure to enjoy their visits and they know i am no actor
but after such fine companionship "Where's my chiropractor ? "
but now back down to business and in  pursuit of a new pleasure
with every new inquiry comes a special kind of treasure

a treasure of wit an' whimsy arrives with a knock upon the door
new batteries in my pacemaker, so i don't end up on the floor
manhattan island angels all dressed up to impress
by the end of the encounter i'm completely void of stress

New York Confidential, I see Mr F. as a brother
yelling in his cell phone "whatta mean you don't take Discover ? "
This is so confidential, they raised the exponential
i really hope to win this thing, reach my full potential

that Fortitude is a genius, leaving all his new friends tired
one thing NOT heard from Mr. Trump is "Fortitude....you're fired ! "
while he ain't Mr. Rourke, this is a Fantasy Island
and if i do win this thing, i'll just go to bed a smilin'.

HULINGS  : )

I can carry a tune but not with a ***** in my face

As an ex-altar boy, I have the right ot post this joke....


A Nun and a NY Confidential gal are riding their bicycles through the back streets of New York, returning to the Nuns convent, when the NY Confidential gal says to the Nun:

"I don't think I can ever remember coming this way before?"

To which the Nun replies:

"I know! It's the cobblestones."

Badda bing.

Panther

-- Modified on 2/16/2004 1:03:13 PM

Hey NYC do you have any Big ass woman that travel....Oh baby!!!! I mean big.......B.I.G.  Forti knows what i am talkin about.

New York Confidential ladies keeps you CUMING,CUMING and GOING back,CUMING,CUMING and GOING back,CUMING,CUMING and GOING back...


The Energizer Bunny keeps on GOING and GOING and GOING and GOING and GOING and GOING...


Fortitude DATY keeps the ladies CUMING AND CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING and CUMING...
Cheers to Fortitude!

Here's my best effort:

A guy and lady were sitting next to each other in a bar and somehow the conversation got around to kinky sex. Each one professed to love it. "I'm the kinkiest stud in town," boasted the guy. "Well then I'm the girl for for you," she replied."

When the bar closed the two of them decided to go to the woman's place and see who was the kinkiest. When they got there the woman said "make yourself at home while I go upstairs and change into something more comfortable." When she came back down she was wearing a leather thong and bustier and carrying a riding crop. "Are you ready for some hot action, big boy?"

  "I'm afraid I'm finished," replied the guy.

  "Finished? I thought you wanted kinky sex?"

   "Yes and while you were upstairs I screwed your dog and shit in your pocketbook. I'm finished!"




-- Modified on 2/17/2004 3:06:16 PM

I say ole'chap VR, that's plenty more CUMING than going!

Tally-Ho!

Btw, Fortitude, after reading VR's entry, your tongue needs a vacation,INDEED!

In addition, we can't hear your voices so we don't know how horrifying they are; and the lyrics are all "forced" with expectable rhyming patterns that do nothing for creativity.At least with the rap "song"(I still can't believe they can call it music),since we can not hear it, we are not subjected to that same monotonous,bass laden, "jibber jabber"

How's that for my best "Simon Cowell" immitation.

Tally-HO!

-- Modified on 2/17/2004 5:28:24 AM

Seiously!, chap? by whose account?

George and Ira Gershwin must be...(fill in the blanks)

Tally-Ho!

And to think that they hand out grammy awards for that C... rap.

I say its more poetry than music.It all has that same harsh beat.
Give me the old standards with a great singer and orchestra anyday.

Why is butt-one sperm so expensive, Fortitude asks why is his sperm so expensive? Because it's HANDmade!!!!!!LOL Sorry I had to use someone's name.