A TER member just approached me in a public place, asking indiscreetly, "Is this KIM ?"  I am really offended by this violation of my privacy. This man will be added to my personal DNS list. It says on my website that I do not want to be approached that way. My face is blurred in my photos for a reason. I value my privacy, and I am offended that a TER member would behave with inconsiderate disregard and indiscretion.

I can't believe this needs to be said but you should never, EVER, approach a girl out in the real world because you recognize her pictures from her web site.  That's as bad as a girl finding out your name, getting your number from information, and calling you at home.

Kim, I apologize on behalf of all the guys who aren't FUCKING IDIOTS!!!

Not so much now that I blur my face.
I have also had people call my work phone to see if it is me that they are looking at.
One of my friends had to take extreme measures to alter her appearance after she retired because people were still approaching her.  One guy even wanted to have his picture taken with her!

No need to apologize, mistakes do happen....Maybe the guy did not know this was proper provider/client behavior.  Maybe he did not see it on the website...Hopefully the lesson is learned...I've approached women on the outside with great feedback and even had a few providers approach me when hanging out at a bar and they remebered me from a session.  Yea, maybe he is an idiot but maybe not...Every provider has rules and they are different for every provider.  i had one call me to come over to her house for a BBQ but said don't mentioned where we met.  Had another out of towner spend some time in NYC on vacation and call me to say let's meet up.  When I showed up her mom and sister were in the hotel room next to her. When we left to go get something to eat she actually introduced us.  My only point is to say that there are many different situations and YES, I understand that Ms. Asian does NOT want to be approached but it does not mean the guy approached her to cause any trouble.....Just sayin....

-- Modified on 7/29/2011 4:43:46 PM

That happened in Vegas a couple of years ago, and I was with another provider that had driven me to the airport after AVN week-end, and the second provider was also flying out, and we had all been at the party the night before.  Basically, pleasantries were exchanged outside the terminal, and as it turned out, the second provider was flying back on my flight.  Needless to say, we did not hang together while we waited for our flight, but were aware of each other.  

As for the encounter Kim described, the height of uncool!

I can't tell you how often I've bumped into a provider in public. I keep my mouth shut and walk away given that she has no idea who I am and it's the equivalent of outing them in public. I mean just imagine if someone were to overhear whatever conversation that idiot would try to start up. It's just stupid. There is a reason we only meet behind closed doors, keep it that way!!!

Except to add it IS perhaps the crassest, most insensitive and dumbest thing I've ever read on TER... What if you were with your family or someone else close?

-- Modified on 7/30/2011 11:38:07 AM

Yes there are some unwritten rules he should have known about.  To me, that means if you see anyone from the hobby in public it's OK to nod politely, as any stranger might do with another whose eyes they meet in public.  But no more than that --  unless you are both alone and you get a clear signal that more of a greeting would be OK.

Hazards of the job babe.  If you want to make the big bucks there are certain risks one has to take.  No rewards without risk.  You can preach in your rules, do not speak to me in public, yada, yada yada but no one will listen.
If the guy had paid his dollars, got naked, did the deed, then he might feel that he has the right to sday hello.  You did get nasty with him in bed, so there are no longer any boundries.
You removed the boundries when you took his cash and did the deed.
Sorry to say, you cannot dictate to anyone what t say in public as long as he did not yell fire in a movie theatre.
No sympathy from me.

I have been in the hobby for a while and it took me a while to know "The Rules".

The airport seems to be the unavoidable "Hotspot" for being recognized.  If you are a popular girl it will happen eventually.  
Being recognized is unavoidable unless you sport some sort of altering disguise.  Being accosted is just out of order any way you spin it...LOL, but somewhat flattering too.  Part of the territory, just handle it with grace and keep it moving.  

Morgan XoX

OK, if you see a provider in public and you say; "hey aren't you Brandy the escort?", then yeah you're an idiot.  But if you see a provider in public that you know and say hi and have a cordial conversation ... so what?  No one knows who either of you are, and they probably don't care either.  

And BTW, providers that see 3-4 guys a day 5 days a week, do you really care that much about anonymity?  You can't have it both ways.  

Twice in downtown NYC I saw girls I knew but I didn't say anything to them.  One looked directly at me and smiled (she knew me well!)and the other didn't see me.

.... but this is pretty close. "He paid to bang you so you have no right to privacy....you're welcome"......gotcha.

A proper approach should be just a simple HI! without mentioning names, that should be valid for both parties. I always say my clients that if I ever run into them in a public place I would never say hello before they do and if they don't is like I have never met that person before, peace of mind.

Let's turn the tables and take a look at two different scenarios:

You make an appointment, you are screened, you pay the girl, you have your session, you two part ways.....three weeks later:

The provider happens to see you and your wife and your children in the grocery store.

According to you it is perfectly fine for the provider to waltz up to you and your family, address you as "Whitelightening"....and start a conversation about your hobby habits.....bc hey you paid her!

Or

You are at your place of employment and the provider you saw last walks in and starts talking about the nasty tryst you had with her.

According to you..bc of an envelop...there should be no discretion expected in the hobby? That is not the way this works.....and if you really have invested any time into your logic you may not be as evolved as a hobbyist as you think. Your logic lacks wisdom, your reasoning behind your logic is very immature.

This has nothing to do with what Tatt was paid, it has everything to do with common sense. What happened to her is not acceptable, and your logic and the lack thereof is even less acceptable.

I have seen clients in public we glanced, the body language from either or both of us said: "keep it moving." ...and we kept it MOVING.


I have seen clients in public we glanced and the MUTUAL body language clearly said:

"It's ok I can talk"....we said hello...MAYBE shared very short small talk, and kept it moving.


I was on a flight and happened to be on a plane with a client who was alone, I was alone....he heard my voice, and again it was the body language......it was mutually ok for us to speak......he came and asked me to sit with him....I did and we had a great time sleeping all the way from Chicago to Vegas.

Obviously, it depends on whether you or she is with someone, in which case no overture at all should be made.   But even if you are both alone, you should never presume she wants any interaction.  A quick smile gives her the choice to respond in a way she feels comfortable.  To do, or assume, anything more is presumptuous and rude, not paranoid.

Now let's listen to this ass tell us we're White Knights.  What shit.  Listen to what the posts above this one say and take your head out of your ass.  This whole deal is about discretion.  What about that do you not get?  Why do you think your envelope gives you the right to intrude on anyone else's privacy.

from providers telling their friends to put you on their DNS lists?  You are so stupid you couldn't even figure out to post your dumb shit under an alias.  The category for you is "Too Stupid To Hobby."

It was very clear in the complaint that the person said "hello Kim".  Never mentioned a tryst, details, or anything like that, just said hello.

If a provider would see a person with a family surrounding them and said hello, the gentlemen just explains it waway as a person who works in his cmpany etc or a salesperson who made a biz call.

The provider Kim complains that she blurs her face and that is enough.  When one posts their website with pics and has unsual and unique tats that can easily identify the person their is no cover to hide under.

If the person wants to be under cover then they need to be UTR completely, no webiste no pics just word of mouth rederrals.

Its the nature of the beast.

I have had provid4ers say hello outside of the tryst and they all just say hello via name, actual name, suchg as the provider said, as Kim.  The provider would know a persons real name if they need referrals and cks a person biz directory as most now do.

With the hobby comes risks and when you are on the receipt side of the biz collecting the cash, you have more risks and no reason to complain.

I agree with Kianna, a simple hello is fine and if the client is alone their is no reason to not have small talk.  Small talk leads to social interaction and maybe a session in the very near future that was unexpected.
To avoid each other completely clearly sates to the client you are nothing more than a trick envelope and you are not worthy of a hello, just pass the cash and let me fake my way thru the hour.

Ladies forget, this is a social activity and socialization also happens outside when an envelope is not passed.

Its very easy to make excuses with you might be mistaken or a biz call or worker etc.  No harm no foul.

But if you were totally ignored, then you are a trick envelope and are nothing but a fool to the lady.

Anonymity cannot take place when one has identitfable marking, so chill or lay off the ink.

IMO even out loud saying HEY/HI is too much EVEN if she's alone..... it's not less uncool to walk up on a provider in public and begin speaking even if you see or assume she's alone. At best a quick smile or nod (like you'd give to a passerby stranger), pay attention to body language/reaction and go from there.

Men don't read body lanuage to easy..Seriously it is the truth............If body language was that easy there would be no reason for TER.......

1.  Her friends and family probably don't know she is a provider.  What if her friends or family are nearby, whe you out her in public?

2. What if the public place is a place she goes to frequently, where she is known?  What if you out her in that place, and then she has to deal with the raised eyebrows in that place?

3.  What if undercover LE or beat cops are there?  Should they hear you talking openly about TER and the hobby?

4.  What kind of rude jerk do you look like, when you out a provider in a public place?

5.  Maybe that provider is just "being herself," and she doesn't want to feel like she is "at work."  Would you like it, if customers came to your home, on your "off day"?

6.  Given the illegal nature of the hobby, when you out a provider in a public place, there is a good chance that you will be causing her to experience FEAR.  Is that really the emotion you want to inspire in a pretty woman?

-- Modified on 7/31/2011 1:32:01 AM

The other day, I was at Duane Reade, and this VERY NAIVE young guy was doing a drug deal on his cell phone, while he stood behind me in line.  He was yelling into his cell phone, while doing a drug deal, and using "slang" that he thought nobody understood.  It was REALLY OBVIOUS he was buying weed and wanted to smoke it in his apartment with one friend, but not too friends because the doorman would know.

THAT IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, WHEN YOU OUT A PROVIDER IN PUBLIC.  
YOU LOOK THAT NAIVE AND CLUELESS.

I too have bumped into girls that I have spent time with.  In some cases, we were fine to greet each other with a hug and kiss, like old friends.  In other cases the times were not so opportune.  Either way, it was simple to figure out from a moments glance at each other.

This fool doesn't know her.  He is a stranger who recognized her, perhaps from pics he saw here, and then called her by her professional name in the street.

You don't need experience to know that's a bad move.  His problem isn't that he hasn't learned the rules.  It's that he is a fucking moron.

You think it's okay for TER members to out me in public.

The other day, I read another asinine opinion of yours, where you were telling NYC providers that they should all charge $250 to $300 an hour.

WHITELIGHTENING, PLEASE GO TO NEWBIE DISCUSSION BOARD, AND READ AND LEARN.

"If you were totally ignored, then you are a trick envelope and are nothing but a fool to the lady."

whitelightening, you obviously do not think providers deserve privacy or a personal life.

"If you were totally ignored, then you are a trick envelope and are nothing but a fool to the lady."

What other bits of privacy do I have to forfeit, in order to make a guy think I like him?

Should I give him my legal name to prove my pussy is wet?

Should I give him my social security number, so he thinks my orgasm was real?

Should I let him stay at my apartment, while I'm not there, so he will think I like him?

WHITELIGHTENING, I DISLIKE YOUR OPINIONS.

Good for you and those ladies. Still your lack of empathy is absolutely amazing.  You can defend stupid.....well anyways...but you are trying really hard.

NO! To avoid each other completely simply means you need to remember we are not out "work" personas 24/7 and WAY more often than not we like keeping our personal lives separate as much as possible.   It's better if many guys in this hobby learn it's pay for play and not think of it as more than that. You play before BCD when you're paying for that time....it DOES NOT EVER give you permission to run up on a lady in public.

She's right. We pay for their time. When the time is over, that's it. If you wanna have an intercourse with her on the street, then pay her for the hour (or whatever her time minimum is).   300-500 is the bare minimum for saying hi on the street.

Note. For those who are humor impaired, this was a joke. Even if you plan to hand her $5000.00, it's still not enough to approach someone in public, unless it's pre-arranged.

Discretion is the better part of valor...little more needs to be said.

whitelightening- I find your logic baffling. Just because we are escorts who accept money for our time and companionship is no reason to think that we don't want to be discrete. The same way most hobbyists have wives, girlfriends, friends etc who know nothing of their hobbying, we escorts have people in our lives who know nothing about how we earn our livings. I would never approach a client in public  and I expect the same courtesy and discretion from them.  Our accepting money from you gents does not mean we don't have a private life of our own, just like you do. We escort for a living- it's not who we are, but what we do to pay our bills. For many reasons, we choose to be discreet and not shout it from the rooftops.

that you just don't get it.  Why in the world would you think that if you pay for the GFE fantasy it entitles you to anything outside the session?  Talk about clueless, you are also naive as hell.
Hint:  when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

really?

so does that mean that i'm allowed to use a your personal information to contact you?  or approach you in public when you are having dinner with your wife?  (for the record, i would never and have never done this to anyone -- i'm simply making a point.)

you couldn't be more wrong; in fact, the opposite of your statement is true.  the envelope clearly establishes and helps to define the boundaries.  boundaries can shift, but only with the consent of both parties involved.  most men choose the hobby over an affair because the envelope guarantees them discretion and no strings -- well, that discretion goes both ways.  if they can expect it from us, we have every right to expect it of them.

welcome to the DNS list of every single lady who read your post.  if those are truly your feelings on the matter, then plain and simple, you do not belong in this hobby.

I was about to write a similar comment until I read yours, Allure. Well put!

Stupid is as stupid does.

So if we were to follow your train of thought it would be ok to approach you or any other hobbiest in public and call them by their TER handle and not worry about who they are with or who might see or hear...

Not entitled to our private life dude that is fucking nonsense.I could give a fuck how much a guy has paid me dont approach me in public.Men want to be discrete on their end but dont want to give it in return this is a two way street.If you can respect the boundaries then you need to not walk but run out of this hobby.

A really good friend of mine who is very low key....almost utr read this and about Whitelightening she said:


"Some people should be banned from buying pussy."


Since he cannot ban himself, and it's not TER's job to ban him....the type of banning that the ladies do was taken care of yesterday....and will certainly be completed by Monday.


So with that said: Whitelightening......you should probably invest in buying gear and equipment for fly fishing, knitting, or a hot gun glue set for model plane building....or start seeing street walkers who are used to having their names yelled out on their block.......bc it would be a dangerous thing for a provider to see you.....and since you do not care about anyones privacy....I guess it would be ok for me to be the first to tell ya.......you made the top of the permanent dns list for DOZENS of ladies......and rightfully so.....bc you are a hazard to our entire community.....NO ONE WANTS TO BE OUTTED. You wouldn't even have the argument that you outted someone by mistake, you think we should expect to be outted, and you still think that even though not a single gentleman on this thread agreed with you?


You are not fit to hobby......you would be a TOTAL TRAIN WRECK DOING IN CALL WITH ANYONE....you are the type of man who would stop by an in-call uninvited....bc hey you have been in that apt before and she is not UTR so let's have coffee!!!!!........then wonder why the lady is freaking out.....and why do you have a speed knot on your head from her bashing you about the head and neck area with her purse!

I have run into one lady in public.  We didn't even acknowledge each other - kept walking past each other.  I knew that she recognized me also (look in her eyes).

DON'T BE AN IDIOT!