Hey there

I have a question about white listing. My first question to the ladies if a client is white listed by a few providers is that enough to see him without further verification? And how many times would you need to see a client before whitelisting him? I think it should be at least two or three times. Lately a client sees me once and wants to be white listed.  

Please share your thoughts

Brooke

are that any whitelists that pop up on here simply are a backup to other forms of verification. By no means for me is a 'whitelist' on TER good enough alone to pass screening. At least, that's for me. Every woman screens how she is comfortable. Everything's gotta 'line up', references, p411, whitelists, etc etc.

END OF MESSAGE

I think what Taylor says is spot on.  Many providers have said they don't give any credit to WLs, only p411 okays and/or references.  I have received a number of WLs after only one date, and some without me having written a review either..

You should only WL hobbyists that YOU are comfortable with, based only on how YOU become comfortable with them.  Should be the same if you are asked for an Okay on P411.  If that requires more than one visit, that is your prerogative.  It may discourage some of the so-called 'variety guys' from wanting to see you if they know they can't get a WL/OK/Reference after the first date.  

I would ask that if you were comfortable seeing the same gentleman for a 2nd date, why would you not be comfortable giving a WL or other means of reference?

- Spartan

How many visits does it take for you to give a guy a reference?  

The purpose of references is to provide safety.  A guy wants to see a girl and you can verify that he saw you and he is, or isn't, safe to see (in your opinion).  So, either you feel safe enough to see him again, and therefore you should be willing to provide a reference, or you don't feel safe enough to see him again, in which case you shouldn't see him again and you should never provide him a reference.  

Requiring more than one visit to be a reference is less about providing safety and more about charging the client for the reference.  You are showing that you think he's safe because you are willing to see him again, but you don't want him to see other people until he's given you a certain about of business.  Now, that is completely within your right.  You don't have to give references at all if you don't want.  But I think it takes away from general safety when women choose not to give references, or choose to make guys see them multiple times before giving a reference.

Either you believe the guy is a safe client or not.  

The whitelist is simply remote referral.  Like a review, it allows other women to get "references" when you might not be available to answer the phone or answer an email message.  

If I were a lady, I might prefer to actually talk to a reference, rather than have the basic "yes/no" of a whitelist.  So, in that case, actual references would carry more weight than a white list entry. But all of it is just pieces of the puzzle.  Just like a girl with 1 review by a reviewer who has only seen her needs to be taken with a grain of salt, so does a guy with few white list entries.  And, to the contrary, perhaps a guy with many whitelist entries doesn't need any more checking, in your opinion.  You have to stick with what makes you feel safe.  

Clearly, I am not saying this trying to get people to give references more easily.  It doesn't affect me one way or the other.  I have many reviews, many white list entries both here and on other sites, and many women willing to be references as well.  I am simply speaking from the point of view of a client.  

If someone thinks several visits are required before you'd be willing to give a referral or white list entry, I'd be interested to hear why.  (Other than the financial reason of wanting the guy to see you more before he sees someone else).

Hi

I read your comments with interest and I don't think requiring a second visit before white listing is a way to upsell. If a provider asks me for a reference if I have only seen the client once I will tell her that as well as my impressions of him, respectful, clean, etc.  I had been under the opinion that white listing was a higher form of approval. I have been very lucky 90% of my clients in NYC have been just great. But I am sure we all have clients that are okay. They are often late, cancel a little to frequently or just not personable and yes while I would see that client again does he deserve to be white listed?

When I started in this business I was told by the person who worked for the agency where I started in Boston when I inquired if the clients were all good looking and hot(I was younger and dumber) and he replied that Brad pitt did not use the service any longer. I got what he meant. Some clients are great and some are not great but you will still see them. Does that mean everyone you will see again deserves to be white listed? I don't know. that is why I am asking

thank you all for the feed back

Brooke

That includes a whitelisting. With all the shit you read here  about fake reviews, exaggerated reviews for favors, you can't believe a whitelist, give her a extra 50 and get white listed enough already

No matter how many White List Referrals a gent has , I definitley advise that you take the time to contact a couple of the ladies for verification.
Not only is that safer for you but it often will provide some insight from what you might expect should you book with the gent.

Often when I've schedule some time with a lady for the first time I'm am told how comfortable they felt about seeing me after contacting a couple of my references. The normal anxiety about meeting someone for the first time was greatly reduced.
I suspect this is because whoever they contacted probably told them that if anything went wrong during the session they could pretty easily beat the crap outta me.....but still.
Check references
never assume
Be safe

-- Modified on 2/18/2014 1:46:47 PM

it really boils down to 'your' own belief in the whitelist system or any system for that matter. If you believe in it, then by all means honor it. I think you are struggling in what 'you' think is the right thing to do vs what you think 'others' think is the right thing to do (hope that makes sense). When really no one here can tell you otherwise. And the only answer is that there is really no right thing, except for what 'you' believe. If giving someone a whitelist is something that feels right to you, then honor it. If not, then simply don't. You don't need to validate that for anyone other than you.  

One of the great things in being an independent in this world is that there are no set rules, we make our own rules as far as what works for each of us 'independently'. And we do that without worrying or needing to answer things for anyone else other than ourselves and what works for us...comfortably.

-- Modified on 2/18/2014 2:04:10 PM

I never thought of the whitelist as a higher form of approval.  Simply one that's available to check when you are not.  I think most women take it as a lower form.  Since it's only yes or no, they might not see a guy with very few whitelistings, whereas they would see someone if they got 2 referrals from actual women they spoke with.  But, that's just my gut feeling.

I understand your point that some clients are not great but you would still see them, but you might hesitate to simply give them an "OK" on a whitelist without being able to qualify that.  

Your examples make sense.  Someone who is chronically late, or cancels, other girls might put on their own personal blacklist.  You might be willing to still see him, but you wouldn't want to give another girl the "He's OK" without being able to give more info.  There are certainly cases where it would make sense that you would we willing to see clients again, but you wouldn't want to give them a whitelisting.  

And from that comes the answer, I think.  It's irrelevant of how many times you have seen someone, it comes down to one thing.  Would you give him your stamp of approval without being able to say anything else?  Would you get angry at a provider if she gave him her approval and then you saw him and felt like she should have warned you.

Very interesting topic.  Most of the time, it's a no brainer.  Good client gets whitelist status.  Bad one doesn't.  Many guys won't bring it up.  But then there are the few times when a guy asks and you are hesitant.  I think you have to say no.  If you hesitate when someone asks, then clearly you have a reservation.  When you are talking about safety (especially when you are affecting someone else), then it's always better to be safe than sorry.

When the WL first came into play on TER, I resolved to watch and wait to see what it boiled down to. And when I saw the whitelists being tossed around like confetti on New Year's Eve, I decided to pass on the whole idea.

There are only 2 place I give a blanket OK to a client-- Date-Checkand P411. Otherwise, I prefer to give other providers an actual personal reference for a client. That way, I can say "I only saw him once, and he was __________." Or, "I've seen him more than 20 times now, and he is __________. "  

The fellows who expect whitelistings to serve as a sole screening tool won't get anywhere with me, or most ladies, as you have aptly pointed out

Are drumming up more business. Or at least, that is not the sole motivation.

I never required that, myself. Just the same...some guys see us once, and basically demand a whitelist referral. Some of these guys are not necessarily unsafe, but they are not guys to whom I would give a wholehearted endorsement. IMO a whitelisting Is something that should be given to an exceptionally good client...not some dude who saw you once, and asks for a referral. But whitelists usually come with clear strings attached (most guys who ask for WLs are board posters or reviewers...so there are clear consequences for refusing). I think that a lot of women who require multiple visits for a WL are attempting to cut these strings...

I would personally prefer to only give whitelists to my good regular clients. Not some a**hole I saw one time.  

...Who have been here since TER was born and are on multiple boards.
The TER WL system is useless and easily manipulated IMO. What does it mean when a guy can get a WL without even seeing a given provider once (many admit they do this, especially in collusion networks)? Absolutely nothing.

In case you care, I and many similar guys I know have turned off our WL system. In a similar vein, I don't look at the top #whatever lists either