In reference to my warning about a Date-Check member in the thread below:

Negociating and bullying a lady into lowering her price is bad for both sides of this hobby.  It not only wastes both people's time, but it is a form of harrassment.  Yes, I said harrassment, and I stand by that word.

I had a jackass come to my location today and try to negociate my price.  No, he didn't ask for discount out right, but he tried to out-smart me.  Of course, he had no idea what who he was dealing with and what level of intelligence I have.  So he played every trick in the book:  

I thought you said you were running a special when we spoke a few months ago.

I only have a a short lunch break, can we do a 1/2 hour?  (Note: I have never offered 1/2 hours and he knows it.)

I only have a credit card and the limit is low.

I have kids to feed and I'm a nice guy and will become a regular, I promise!

How about I make it up to you next time?

But you're not a porn star or real VIP , so shouldn't yor prices be lower?  (Excuse me, I'm a professional ballet dancer and model, what does that mean?)

You don't have anything else going on this afternoon, so why are you acting like I am trying to rip you off?

etc., etc., etc.

This behavior is not acceptable.  Of course, the favorite negociating tool of all time is, "I will write you a good review if you give me a discount" or in this particular jackass's case, "I will write you a BAD review and tell everyone where you live if you don't do it my way."

This behavior makes the hobby DANGEROUS, do you understand?  I can't see another guy at my home now from a Date-Check reference because I think he will pull this sh*t with me.  It makes girls like me skeptical to see someone without a blood test and social security number, and it makes guys think that every girl is getting info so that they can use it against them.  Both sides have to protect themselves, but both sides must also play as fair as possible within the confines of this arrangment.

It's blackmail, and I won't tolerate it.  

If anyone else cares to comment or RESPECTFULLY disagree, please be my guest.  I am curious to hear thoughts from both sides.

Thank you for your time,
Alexandra

Tell your clients what I tell mine when they ask to negotiate your fee ( i am a professional person)..
My fee is my fee, is my fee.......Accept it or go some where else......

Virgil:

Thank you for your thoughts.  I know you are well-intended, but my daily work situation is a bit different from the typical mainstream employment situation that you are in.

When you say no way Jose, they walk out of your office and mumble 'asshole' under their breath and move on.  In my case, I have to deal with threats of bad reveiws, outting my location, calling the vice squad, negative backchannelling, accusations of me not being discreet, etc.  

You are right in theory about fee structure, but in this blackmarket economy it's not so simple.  I only want paying patrons to know my location -- it's part of the fee and privelege of doing business with me.  Walkng in and wasting my time still gets you a free look-see at the goods and sensitive information, such as where I conduct my private business.

Unfornately, the only way to keep the riff raff out is to get stricter on screening, like always requiring 2+ references.  This makes it hard for new clients to break in, and in this guy's case made him mad that he couldn't negociate with me.  Not all guys try to negociate, but there are many who do and those that are in know and have read my reviews know I am smart enough to deflect that kind of behavior.  This guy didn't do his homework, however I let him meet me with fair screening, not Nazi screening.  

Looks like it's time to get much tougher.

Best, Alex

-- Modified on 8/24/2009 1:33:18 PM

My feelings are we should remember that this is a Hobby , And what is a HOBBY !!! Fun !!!! Thats why they call us hobbiest. Guys when a provider give you a Rate and you want to see her than thats the rate !!! I see more and more reviews coming from back page and craigs list where you get what you pay for > Hey the economy is in the shitter money is harder to come by for the hobbiest and the provider . My feelings are I just go a little longer to see a quailty lady instead of trying to get something for free or get a better deal for time than the next guy . If I cant afford it I just say Thank you and I will let you know or call you back . Just because its a shitty economy does not mean we have to act shitty towards other people .
Sorry Alexanderia for what happened to you and you are right it will make it harder for newbies like me and the other folks to
Keep your head up

I am sorry that guy was a jack ass.

Date-check can only do so much. They only verify employment, not character. The other ladies have to do that.

I think it's wise not to invite guys you don't know to your home. You have to go with your feelings about guys you know.

Asking for references is perfectly acceptable and expected.

Frankly I wonder how you ladies can do it.

I hate it when my customers pull that crap, I am sure it completely kills the mood.

In certain cultures that's expected, but not here, not in this.

This  has happend to you.

You are doing to rhght thind by telling everyone about this JERK

get his info out to all the ladies, on the ladies board, you may want to put him on the black list and there is also danger411 i think that is want it is called where ladies exchange info about scumbags like this guy.

be safe


Thank you
2009 = 27

The site is dangerzone411.com



Thank you
2009 = 27

Sweet Alex,

You are a great beauty and a
superb provider, but that doesn't insulate you from the grifters and chiselers that prey on the service sector. I could tell you stories about client betrayals that would curl your lovely blonde hair. But you have two choices: deal with it or shutter the business. And the second choice would have me and your legion of satisfied followers wallowing in great dispair over our erotic loss.

Please calm down and know that you are revered by many.

Klewedin

Negociating is the big elephant in room of hobbying.  

It happens all the time, and some men use tatics that are older than dirt.  They know the economy sucks and that at the end of the day, some money is better than none for most providers.  I was bullied into a lower rate by a potential client and then  when I refused to back down, he got violent.  

I trusted that a screening service and a few conversations with a new guy would be enough to let him into the hobby.  I let him come to my residence with no references because no local ladies would give him a date because he was new.  And I was punished for it. All I was saying was that new guys who step out of line, whether a little or a lot (like this case), make us ladies not want to see someone new unless we get the equivalent of a blood test and socail security number.  

Also, many hobbyists that have been around abuse the fact that out business can suffer from a bad review or grow for a good one, and now all of the review web sites are being abused to a certain degree.  

So as much good as TER can generate for all of us, it is also being used a weapon against the women.  That's a shame, but I see no real solution.  Perhaps someone will find a way to keep ths from happening, because it would make the hobby safer.

Thanks for reading.

This is one of the best posts I've read, period. It's hard because a few jerks ruin it for the many great guys that just want to have fun.

Thanks for putting it so eloquently Alex. I appreciate your thoughtful representation of a pretty big problem that so many providers have faced.

It sucks that people don't treat others the way they want to be treated.

Sorry to hear about this love you have always been extremely sweet to me. I don't see how any one could treat you this way

Kyla