While I've been called many names on TER due to my constitutional inability to keep my damn mouth shut, this week's summation of my character by an esteemed forum member/sandwich shop delivery boy was especially on point!  

Am I sarcastic?  
Sure, sometimes. I'm opinionated with a sharp wit, and I don't take myself too seriously. Clever banter is my lifeblood. You could even call me a masterbanter, though I do prefer bantercourse... of course.  
I am also, on occasion, a pretty sweet gal, a good listener, and a kindhearted softie. Don't tell anyone; it'll undermine my marketing.

Am I middle-aged?  
If early 30s is middle-aged, then yah, you betcha I am. I'm also a whole lot hotter, wiser, and erotically enlightened than I was in my 20s. But hey, if you'd rather bang 22-year old Remy on a deflated air mattress in a college party house that reeks of Bud Light and bong water, let me know and I'll get to work on my time machine.

Am I a fattie?!
Absofuckinglutely! You see, I'm a healthy size 12 with an hourglass frame, run a couple miles a day, and yes, can eat the hell out of a burger. I possess legendary hips, sculpted calves, thick thighs and a gorgeous posterior. If being a fattie is wrong, y'all, I don't wanna be right.  

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$350/hr. Incall or outcall, available most days 9am-10pm.  
More details on my website, linked below.  
Get to know me on Twitter @remylovely -- I find it a much more hospitable place than certain hobby forums!

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