Minnesota
Your Discretion
Whether or not a particular item is on a menu, it's always your decision what you will serve to whom. An item mentioned in a review or listed in a menu does not constitute an entitlement to anyone.
Hi everyone.
Recently, I had a review in which the gentleman describes pulling my hair during k9. While it hurt (pulling hard and almost taking off one’s scalp will do that to you), I did not stop him and he continued to latch on as we enjoyed the k9 position (the sex was great).
Personally, pulling hair from behind makes me nervous. I have heard of women having gentlemen use their hair as a weapon. They latch on and the lady loses control putting her in a vulnerable situation (no thanks). Well, now I have in a review in which a gentleman states he pulled my hair as he rode me. I do not want guys trying this in the future. Whether or not I enjoy it in the “real” world with someone I trust (hot!!), I do not enjoy it in the “hobby” world when I do not know if pulling my hair will be used as a weapon (screening is not foolproof). I refuse to be stupid and put myself in an unsafe situation because hobbyists will think it’s sexy if I say “yes, pull my hair…harder…mmmmm”. No thanks, but got to keep it safe.
Here is my question: Now that he put this in my review, is it something that will be expected in the future? How do I inform gentlemen that I do not want them pulling my hair? I put it on my website, but it seems now that everyone (girls and guys) alike make reference to it as if it is some novel concept (good Lord!). Likewise, my profile says I prefer fingers on the outside (I am sensitive down there and can only use non-fragranced soap, let alone have fingers in there), but people read a couple of reviews from when I offered it in the inside and expect it. I find I always have to say “please, just on the outside". Do gentlemen look more at the profile (mine is up-to-date) or reviews?
Ladies and gents alike, thank you for your help! I really appreciate it.
(Alias for discretion)
Whether or not a particular item is on a menu, it's always your decision what you will serve to whom. An item mentioned in a review or listed in a menu does not constitute an entitlement to anyone.
Therefore I pay a lot more attention to reviews than the profile.
The best fix would be to ask the guy to edit the review. If he won't do that, maybe a future review would set the record straight.
Obviously you are still the only one that can say what's OK, but it creates an expectation. One gal told me that if you post a pic with hands tied, you can expect a lot of guys to show up with rope.
-- Modified on 11/6/2009 12:06:09 PM
First, you have every right to feel safe in what you allow or don't allow, that being said, you need to be upfront about what you are comfortable doing and be in control. Be safe. I have come across reviews where things seem to happen that are stated in websites and profiles as off limits, for example, greek. I remember a review from a few years ago where the guy said he got that, so I read the other reviews before and after his to see if anyone else mentioned getting that and came up blank. I assumed that the review was either embelished or fake. Any one else have a different take?
Most respectful men will honor your rules.
Just like Hobbyist you should feel to see whoever you want and when seeing anyone there should be ground rules on the things you don't like or want to do.
Every one should respect that and it shouldn't hurt your business.
My two cents...
Those are great questions!
I would kindly ask the gentleman to rewrite the review leaving that out, he shouldn't mind and maybe state what has been happening regarding reviews or re-emphasize what your preferences are on your website highlighting it somehow in a nice way. Also you might try writing in about your profile and under fingers on the inside, ask them to at least temporarily put "update, no longer allows or no longer offered".
I think alot of gentleman scan through the profile and this might help to get them on the same page.
I understand your concerns and best wishs for these things to get straightened out for you!
xxxoo J.
The guys will probably think I'm a wimp-ass, but I'm not dating them so I don't give a damn.
I have found that the profiles are usually very inaccurate, they don't seem to ever be updated. Especially in the photo department. So I scan the profile, see if I am interested (some things in the profile will get a provider deleted immediately) and then I read the reviews and the scores.
I know it is the policy to juice up the text, but I find if there are a page of reviews, you get a pretty good idea of what to expect.
When I meet with someone, I always ask if it is ok to do something, like the fingers on the outside issue. I am there to have fun, she is there to have fun, make some money and NOT GET HURT in the process.
I ALWAYS ask the lady if there is anything she doesn't want in the review, and a couple of them have taken me up on that.
Sometimes this policy of reading reviews, scores and profiles fails completely. I have had two occasions where everything on TER said one thing, and none of it was true. I think someone did a bait-and-switch. So you have to still fall back on the old YMMV.
What I have done is ask the lady if she would like me to write a review, and if she does I ask her if she would like to look at it before I submit it for posting. This practice eliminates some of what you are concerned about. I have had no problem doing this as all the lovely ladies I have seen (all 6) have been awesome and are now considered friends.
Inform the potential hobbiest that hair pulling is out and will result in immediate cessation of the activity
Thanks for the advice.
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
We thank you for your purchase!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!
