I had a strange curiosity in this sea of sexual experience and experimentation.  I wondered if it were possible that we as providers or we as hobbyists could actually be making positive or life changing impacts on each other's lives.  

Guys, I am aware that you have the capability of picking and choosing any given lady based on your attraction to her... perhaps her pics, or her price point, or her reviews... but you choose to meet with a lady because something attracts you to her.  
But I was wondering if you'd ever had the experience of really being Affected By a lady you'd chosen to see.  
Have you ever been inspired by one of us temporary lovers?  Have you ever had a change of thought about your life or about women or about (dare I say it) love, because of an experience you'd had with one of us providers?  
Have any one of the ladies you've met affected you in such a way that you were moved to try something different, choose a different pattern for your life?  
Have you ever been touched so deeply by one of your chosen providers that it almost scared you how ripely vulnerable you could have been at any given moment with her... or because of her?  
And what was the action you took because of it?  Did you determine to never see her again because of the raw emotion she evoked in you?  Or did you choose to see her more and more?

I'm curious about this contrast...  attracted to or affected by.  
Have you seen anyone who changed you??

Ladies, same question.  Have you ever been surprised by a session that left you breathless, thoughtful, and changed?  Have you ever been taken aback by the gentleness, insights, softness, or wisdom of a man whom, before you actually met him you had thought of as simply "a client"?  
What were the characteristics that he displayed that made him That Unique Person?  What were the behaviours that he exercised that left an indellible impression upon you... so much so that your thinking, or your heart, or your soul was laid open, exposed... or perhaps captured.

Anyone have an experience like that??  
Anyone affected that deeply by someone they met in this life style??  

I seem to grow very much every time I see a provider.  I have yet to be inspired, but the growth mainly happens between my belly button and my knees.

Inspired, Yes
Dare I say it, Yes
Moved to try something different, Yes
Scared you how vulnerable I've let myself be, Oh Hell Yes
I've see her weekly for almost 3 years.

It sucked.

Generally, providers don't want to have that effect on clients.

Been in the hobby for many years.  
Have had two long term love affairs with providers, one more than 20 years ago and one of which is ongoing, and has been, for almost five years.  She has inspired me, supported me emotionally through several major life changes, stood by me when I was doubtful that the relationship could work, took me back when I (wrongly) rejected her, and made me see life in a light I never would have otherwise.  On the other hand, I've shown her things she never would have seen before, taken her all over the US and to Europe, and have given her financial security that she wouldn't have had otherwise.  
And we're both happily married to other people.

Certainly..Fell madly in love and felt the same from her. Everything worked well as long as I continued to give help and encouragement. Even helped her establish her business. Unfortunately I made the mistake of asking HER for a little help. That was when I found out what a liar and thief she really was. "You are old, what could I possibly have in commom with you?" I haven't spoken to her or contacted her since. Too old to teach an old dog new tritcks? Not this old dog.

Way too dangerous, for me.

Most of the time, I haven't experience anything beyond the chance to briefly enjoy the charms of an attractive woman.  I would say that's a positive experience.  But there have definitely been some experiences that went beyond that, giving me memories that will last for the rest of my life, even to the point of helping me deal with issues, changing me for the better.  I never stopped seeing someone because of any of this; I took the viewpoint that I was going to enjoy the time I had with such ladies for as long it lasted and with the understanding that someday it would end.

That's an interesting statement.  
Something that these responses make me realize is that my journey in this lifestyle is as unique as any one else's.  We all come into this "world" looking for different things.

Do we ever find it??  I wonder, if you are on a quest for connection... do you ever find something pure in this life style?  

I also like what Fransesca said; that we often underestimate our own impact on other's lives.

I've had many experiences over my years of providing service in this community, but one remains with me, etched in my memory forever as something so beautiful and so rare.

It happened years ago, maybe I was into my second year and I was only offering massage.  A man came to meet me for the first time.  Honestly, there was nothing particularly engrossing about his appearance.  He was just an average man of average height, about my age.  

We had very little conversation.  I led him into my little massage room and began the ritual of undressing him while taking note of his sensual responses to me.  He would suck in his breath when I grazed his skin while unbuttoning a button, or give a very light moan when my breasts rubbed up against his chest ever so slightly.  
And then some how, for what ever reason, our lips met and we kissed.  We kissed and kissed and kissed.  We fit so perfectly.  It was like the pull of two magnets.  And he held my face in his hands kissing me, touched my hair, my shoulders, my skin.  He held me to him in long tight hugs and all the while we were kissing.  

A whole hour passed.  We did nothing but kiss.  No sex, no massage, never fully undressed.  We kissed for a whole session until he finally had to go.  And it was as hard for him to leave as it was for me to watch him go.  

We hardly even spoke to each other.  There was nothing said between us except the very absolute necessary things.  We kissed forever and then he was gone.  

It was so strange, so pure, so different.  I was ruined for days after.  I couldn't think straight, couldn't see anybody else, couldn't understand what had happened.  I kept telling myself, "I never knew that it could be that way.  I never knew...."  

It was so intimate.  

You know, though, I think the purity of it was that neither one of us had any other expectations of each other.  There was not going to be a relationship borne out of this, there were no hopes that either one of us would call the other outside of this arena, there was nothing except that moment, that pure moment of intimate joy.  

I still look for that.  Ashamed to say...
But yes, I still look for that feeling in all of the sessions I have.  That unexpected something that makes this moment THE moment.  

Touched, a little bit changed.

I've certainly enjoyed most of the experiences, but it is a temporary, uninvolved arrangement each time.  Almost all of the ladies I've seen are very nice people.  I'm not one of those who is "surprised" that a provider is interesting or funny or intelligent, but to allow even the slightest emotional attachment seems dangerous and would defeat the central idea of hobbying.

It is akin to work relationships.  We are friendly, but not friends.

I have had the great fortune of connecting with several wonderful women in the past four years. We have become good friends and it has been a life altering experience, keeping an older guy thinking and acting young. No exclusive connections but being together on or off the clock a couple of times a month. Lives change and after a year or two, drifting apart is natural, but with luck, the friendships do not expire. I am fortunate to be embarking on the start of a new connection as of the past few months, and look forward to seeing it play out to its eventual finale.  The quest for a connection is the main reason I don't visit travelling girls often.

I don't believe that the gentlemen friends I meet either expect or require me to affect them in any particularly profound sense.  It's difficult and probably not a good idea to establish the level of intimacy that allows for that.  When I embarked on my journey as a courtesan a few years ago, it was in hopes that I could provide respite from the day to day realities of life...to laugh a little, talk a little, love a little, enjoy a little.  In essence, to "come up for air."

That said, I also think it's possible by one small gesture, one kind word or bit of encouragement, for any human being on this planet to impact another's life...hopefully in a positive sense.  I have experienced that as a courtesan, both by gentlemen and ladies alike, and I feel it has enriched me.  I have also experienced those who have shared with me that I have helped them in some small way.  And yes, I have lost a dear friend or two on occasion when they have become besotted and confused by their feelings.  But I have also established a few associations that while there are boundaries, maintain a sense of genuine friendship that will likely last long after I have slipped back into obscurity.    

We often underestimate our ability and power to have a positive affect on other human beings in even the smallest of ways.  There is an incredible feeling of joy and satisfaction in being able to do that.  Our life on this planet is short.  We all have our daily toils and struggles, joys and sorrows and certainly varying perspectives on what is and is not important.  Hopefully we are all mindful of how our words and actions can affect others and always do our best to create a smile and bring a bit of light into another's life...if only for an hour or two  

Met a traveling provider who fell in love with me the day she met me.  I was initially infatuated with her and it turned into love not too long afterwards.  She was beautiful (former swimsuit model) and turned heads everywhere we went.
Within months after meeting her I finally got the guts to leave my frustrating marriage of 19 years, she moved here to Mpls from Miami and we lived together in an exclusive relationship for a year and a half.  It was certainly true love as she could have the pick of any guy she wanted, yet she chose me.    Unfortunately, she had other issues including a burning desire to have a baby with me.  I am older (45) and I could not see her being a good mother.  With that, and several other issues involved, I had to end it a year ago.  She broke my heart and I broke hers even more.  She lives back in Miami and still wants to get back together but breaking up with her was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do (more difficult than deciding to get divorced) and I just can't put myself through that again.
My relationship with her ended my hobbying.  I'm now in another exclusive relationship, but I can't find the feelings I had before with the prior relationship.  I might be fucked for life.  Who knows?...

The answer to your question is yes I have been very attrated to a lady I met as a provider but the only real proplem is she is in San Diego and I am in thie cold north.  We stay in touch throgh e-mail and she is a very special lady to me.

What a wonderful thread!  I am always amazed at the variety of perspectives each person brings to this hobby.  There is little doubt that accomplishing a special connection is a primary objective each time I set out to have a new experience, and I have had that desire fulfilled more times than I may deserve, but definitely fewer times than an experience has fallen short.  Each experience has shown me some small gem,  some I am able to hold with me still, others dissolve from my memory in a short time.  
The boundaries that define the hobby have a subtle effect whereby the restriction of behaviors we place on ourselves actually releases inhibitions, and allows for the potential of a more intense, even if more fleeting connection.
Thanks for your direction Anna.

I second Alantras notion.I have an ATF and we get along great and all but we both know that the time we spend together is professional not personal.And thats one of the reasons she's my ATF.I never understood the need for guys  trying to connect on some deeper  level with providers or visa versa.It's a business transaction with unique benifits but it's still a business transaction.

It's probably obvious who I'm referring to also.  Anyway, near as I could tell, then and now, it was/is mutual.  She felt comfortable talking to me about things going on in her life and I was more than happy to be her shoulder in those times.  No donation or other gift can ever let any provider I happen to see know that I appreciate their time, and will cherish the feeling of acceptance (even if it is only a feeling).

If you're reading this, I don't know what I've given you.  I'm sure it can't possibly match what you've given me, but I hope it's close.  After you missed our appointment before you left, I worry even more.  Care about you.  Come back soon.

Some people make some pretty bold statements on this board.  Example-Belinda claiming to be speechless.  Those that know her no better, and the world is a better place because of it.

Anna your question is interesting but was phrased incorrectly.  I think what you wanted to say is can one human soul have an impact on another human soul...because that is what we are...you and me and everyone in this hobby.  And the answer is easy, it is fundamental, it is what keeps you and me going.  It's what we desire, what we want to feel, not the sex, body...mind...soul.  Good luck on your path, your new map.

That is simply amazing.

I dont have anything as stunning as that but I have to admit I have met quite a few interesting people through the hobby. I for one that have tried a few unknowns I have had the pleasure of meeting some really interesting people in doing so.

I remember a particular one that we built an amazing friendship even though we met through the hobby, long story what brought her to the hobby however the fun tid bit is that we sat down and talked like we were long lost friends, she even talked to me about her troubles and I gave her honest advice which at the time I though might be taken by the wind but little did I know she took to it heart.

I remember one weekend after we had met she sent me a random text asking me what I was up to on the weekend to which my first thought she is looking for a date and I replied well Im moving this weekend, her first question was do you need help and followed what time are you starting I can be there to help, I thought to myself this is weird but I figured she was bluffing or thought I was joking but i decided to call her on it and said sure Saturday at 7 AM, not only was she there at 7AM ready to help me move but she also helped me clean and get everything in order. At the end of the day I wanted to give her a few 100 bucks for her help (she really did give me a great help) but she wouldn't have it. She said the day we met my advice helped her in many ways and that since then she had been looking for a way to repay the favor.

Needless to say that just totally blew my mind. Its a constant reminder to me that regardless the circumstances of our meeting in this hobby we are all in the end humans and at times by doing little things we can make a difference in someones life. Maybe not significant to change someones life but at least brighten someones day.

Oh I forgot to mention that yes my life has been changed by my experience with a provider.  Not one but  two.  One taught me what it is to be yourself...true to yourself, don't worry what others think. To have no fear and to her I will be forever grateful.  The other taught me about life, what is real, and to be open to what might be.  If you open yourself to the universe, to what might be, or what others have to give, you might be surprised at what you find...both in this hobby and in yourself.

Today I got a phone call that touched my heart. A client of mine called me from Arizona just to let me know that he was okay and so was his wife. His wife has cancer, and she is doing well. Me growing up with my only parent having and eventially dying from cancer this was such great news. He Must have just known that I had been down and out due to my business becoming close to none at all. It really made me feel good for him to call and check in on me. He has to be the sweetest old man in the world, I know that he won't be returning to the cities until July but when he gets back I will be so glad to spend time with him.

For me, my regulars mean so much to me. The occasional phone call or email really can brighten my day. Gentleman you may not realize but when you open your hearts to some of us we do the same. I am human, and I love when someone shows their appreciation and that they truly care about me.

xoxo Andrea

But only for a second!!   nyah nyah nyah boo boo!

Great topic and yes, i found two separate providers who changed my perspective on myself and have given me genuine and honest feedback that has enhanced my overall sexuality in ways i never would have imagined. I see each of them only occasionally but most providers I have seen i see only once. one is here in my home town and one in LA. With both i have a genuine friendship and meaningful connection that goes beyond the transaction but I would never attempt to take advantage of that and I'm sure that is one reason why the connection remains strong.

With all intimate relationships we pay in one way or another. The fact that this particular kind of relationship is more transactional and short term in nature does not really mean that much in the grand scheme of things. I have connected with a number of providers who I have never seen again. They show up in my fantasies occasionally and sometimes when i see their posts here or their ads i am compelled to reach out and sometimes do. But impulsiveness is rarely rewarded in this world and this hobby so alas those follow up connections rarely materialize.

I have connected in one way or another with a majority of the providers I have seen. I specifically look for providers with an emotional maturity that allows this to happen regardless of whether or not the connection is truly reciprocal. That is part of what makes them professionals. There is a tremendous amount of beauty, sensuality and passion in most of the providers I have seen. I can't imagine not being compelled to want to connect with them in a deep way....It is after all what life is really about, isn't it?

T

Part I, A Question:  What part of my statement(s) do you consider 'bold'?

Part II, A Statement:  No matter how bold my statements seem, I try to keep it real as much as possible.  I mean, I've been BS'd enough in my life already, so I don't sugar-coat anything 90% of the time....unless she asks me to...  :P

Seriously though, when I compliment, I mean it, and when I tell people I care I prefer they don't just feel it.  They should KNOW it.  I don't really care who knows who I have feelings for or I'm attracted to.  

Don't know half of you, have had some beef with some of you in the past, but damn it I care about this lot.  You's good people.  

For the most part, I can't say that there has been any profound impact on my life.  The value of these fleeting encounters and sometime ongoing no-strings relationships has been to PREVENT a profound change in my life.  I ventured into the hobby because my wife became disinterested in sex for whatever reason.  Its the hobby that has prevented any need for divorce and its disastrous affects on finances and family  So its kept my life as normal as possible and so I am quite grateful when able to find the provider that fulfills the sexual need to the degree one might expect with an SO that is really into it.  

Because I really did NOT want any emotional ties to any particular provider, this has worked out most of the time.  However, there have been a couple of very special young ladies that I grew more than a little fond of and my pattern of seeing many different and new providers has been interrupted occasionally with streaks of regular and exclusive quasi romances, that had started as client/provider, with all the benefits of being a regular boyfriend with no strings.  Eventually in all cases, the reality of it being just a fantasy would overcome my delusions, and things had to end for the benefit of both.

It is refreshing to see.  But, I am also glad that you are learning the importance of safety, cautiousness, and planning.  You are a kind,  young gentle man.  
Hugs and kisses!
Belinda

A couple of ladies I have meet I continued to see over time because we made a connection or at least I felt like I had a connection with them.  In one case, the lady told me about her first civie dating experience in years and how it progressed over the months that we continued to meet in a P4P relationship.  I know when things didn't work out in that relationship she shared some intimated details with me.  I shared some intimate details about my own life as well.

Someone I have been seeing recently is not only very sexy, sensual, and beautiful, she is also very intelligent and has a great business sense.  We had a conversation about my work situation the last time we were together and she recommended a book for me to read (still need to get it) that sounded perfect for my situation.  She also was very comforting since I had a very stressful week the week I came to see her.

I can only remember my one moment as you described so eloquently with someone in "this life".  I won't use any names, but needless to say, it was a complete chance encounter, I didn't think would ever happen. and it left me wondering for the years that followed, "Could sex ever be that passionate and intense, and erotic with anyone else ever again?"  

I spent years chasing that thought only to come up dry in my search, and somewhat answer my own question that I might not be able to find that kind of sex, lovemaking, however you wish to describe it anywhere else but the person I experienced it with.   This realization has had an effect on me personally as I now think that it was a once in a lifetime experience, and its somewhat depressing to think that i'll never experience it again.    but how many other experiences in life are just that.. once in a lifetime, never to be lived again.

to this i say "Tis better to have loved & lost than to have never loved at all"

my 2c

Dude I can remember the provider from indy who did reverse cowgirl with the most beautiful body and I can remember the provider from out east who was in the music business with the tight body and auburn hair, and I can remember the 1st time with Anna, looking into those fantastic blue eyes, but I can't forget first time I laughed in bed, really laughed, at us, at the world.  She will be missed, she will be desired......

I do not post often, well 'cause I suck at it, but this thread gave me pause.

Have you ever been inspired by one of us temporary lovers?
-Many times. Both positive and negative.

Have you ever had a change of thought about your life or about women or about (dare I say it) love, because of an experience you'd had with one of us providers?
-About my life, sure. About women, I must have somewhere along the line, but I think women are pretty damn cool. Love... When I'm in it, I don't know what to think. When I see other people in it, I think they are crazy.
 
Have any one of the ladies you've met affected you in such a way that you were moved to try something different, choose a different pattern for your life?
-Yes. I think this is a result of my outlook about people in general, I hope to learn something from everyone I meet, and feel I do.    

Have you ever been touched so deeply by one of your chosen providers that it almost scared you how ripely vulnerable you could have been at any given moment with her... or because of her?
-Dear god yes.
And what was the action you took because of it?
-I shook my head the last time she walked away.
Did you determine to never see her again because of the raw emotion she evoked in you?
Or did you choose to see her more and more?
-I do not know where she is. I'm not sure I want to.

I'm curious about this contrast...  attracted to or affected by.  
Have you seen anyone who changed you??
-I just discovered the whole reason IS to get changed.

Thank you

Has that been it all along?  
"I just discovered the whole reason IS to get changed."  
Well there is the language for that haunting emotion that has been nagging at me.  
Did you just put words to what I've been trying to find?  

huh...

Thank YOU!

Wow....

When I first started hobbying I had an experience very similar to this one and it's been with me for years.

I had only seen 4 or 5 providers until her and it had been as Vorlon said, a business transaction.  Sometimes a very hot one, but once the clock hit 60 minutes the illusion was over and it was back to real life.

My "muse" in the hobby is someone I'll never forget.  

We said our hello's, I handed over the payment and we sat down to talk over some wine.  One bottle and 45 minutes later we were still there talking.  For some reason we both felt such a connection that the sex basically became irrelevant.  She realized that the time was about up and tried to give me my money back, but I refused instead asking her to dinner since she did let slip she had no further appointments for the evening.  We went to an intimate little place and spent the next 4 hours talking, cuddling, kissing and just enjoying each other.  It was wonderful!  

I brought her home that night and we had some of the best, most intimate sex I've ever experienced.  I think the connection we shared made it so perfect we spent hours just making love vs fucking.  The next morning I took her back to her hotel, she packed up and I dropped her at the airport so she could continue on her travels.

We've met quite a few times since on a non-business level and if she'd move here, I'm not sure what I'd do because like for Anna, it wrecked me for a few days which was pretty scary.  It's the same way every time I see her.

Touched, yes.  Changed, definitely.  Grateful, absolutely.

Definitely

I’ve been in the hobby a little over 12 years and reading this thread makes me realize that the reason I got into the hobby was that I was looking connection…  I thought I was looking for variety in sex, but found satisfaction only in those encounters that involved real conversation and connection.  

Over the years I met and developed long term (multi-year) friendships with 3 or 4 different ladies in different cities.  Over the years we’ve revealed way too much of ourselves to be considered just provider/hobbiest.  At first such feelings scared me, but I think danger is part of the thrill of the hobby so I continued.  I never hobby close to home (that’s too dangerous), so I have never had a relationship get “out of hand”.    

These relationships leave me changed – I am happier, kinder to people and have developed new interests.  I’ve actually had my secretary notice and comment when I returned from a trip that I just seem like a better person. (And my wife noticed that I am better in bed too).  

One of my friends describes this phenomenon as a “discrete non-traditional relationship with clearly defined boundaries”.  Within these boundaries we share experiences like dinner, theater, museums, and always conversation and great sex. We also stay in touch with each other between our meetings – sharing holiday greetings and high (and low) points in our lives.  

Not all hobbyists want connection, not all gals want or are capable of “providing” connection, so you have to shop carefully.  

So much of my life has been out of my control and too much crap... I was contemplating throwing away major parts of my life when some wonderful providers gave me the outlet I needed.  I was only missing a portion, but very important part of my life that was tarnishing the rest of the great parts of it.

Once I found this incredible hobby, I have met some women that showed me some attention, some adventure, and some incredible experiences that I'd long ago forgotten.  I know we have only had short but awesome experiences, but it is amazing how much of my life has been restored.

Ok, so maybe I have met some of the hottest women in my life who have totally rocked my world, but I have also met some pretty impressive women who know who they are, know what they believe, and are quite impressive as people.  Staying UTR will always keep the rest of our lives from meeting, but I have to say I am forever grateful to those who pulled back the curtain to let the sunshine in.

Sappy enough?  (I'm a guy, I had to throw that in), but to those I have met, and those I hope to meet...

THANKS!  For the chances you take, and the care you give!