My buddy Bjorn and me met ‘em at that bar in Chaska. The one on the left, her name was Ashley and the other one, well, I guess her name was Ashley, too. (I don’t think that was their real names,tho, ‘cus, you know, they’re hookers…) They’re cousins and the one on the right useta be Miss Wadena for two years in a row! They were hangin’ out with the polka band, Sven Hüsker and the DüDüs. I think Ashley was blowin’ the tuba player during breaks. Bjorn and me thought it’d be kinda a hoot to spend a romantic weekend with ‘em so they agreed to come with us to my ice fishin’ shack on Lake Mill Lax. They only aksed for a hundred dollars each and a case of Schell’s! Can you believe it…we woulda been happy to give ‘em 2 cases of Schell’s!

Well, things were going along pretty good. I ended up with Ashley and she wasn’t too bad except she kissed like an eel pout. Bjorn and Ashley were goin’ at it somethin’ fierce! She was ridin’ him cowgirl like when her belly button jewelry thing got caught in the rattle reel line and, what a ruckus!! It woke Ashley and me up so we tried to help get it untangled from Ashley’s jewelry. We couldn’t get it untangled so we just ended up cutting her jewelry thing with the needle nose ‘cuz if we cut the fishin’ line, well, then I’d have to retie the lure and bobber and I didn’t wanna do that. If that wasn’t bad enough, later that night I woke up and caught Ashley (the other one) poopin’ in one of the ice holes!! Can hardly blame her, tho. It was aboot 35 below outside and the ice shack door was drifted shut! But still…what a stinky mess! It was probably worse than that oil spill that they’re havin’ down there in the Golf of Louisiana!

The next day we decided to drive up to Walker for the annual Eel Pout Festival. We were getting’ pretty shit faced when Ashley and Ashley decided to go up and enter the bikini contest. We kinda lost track of ‘em at that point and Bjorn and me ditched ‘em there ‘cuz Bjorn had to get back to the Cities to pick up a belt for his Ski Doo.