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Why use an alias?
ThreeCupsPlease 1262 reads
posted

I use an alias because I prefer to maintain anonymity.  There are a great number of people on here, none of whom are personally known to me.  The use of an alias helps me retain control over the nature and circumstances of the contact we have.  

I don't believe I have ever seen a post on here that appeared to carry the writer's real name.  On several occasions, I have been criticized for using an alias by another member who also appeared to be using an alias.  I assume that your name is not really "staefaboy," so it seems that we are both using an alias, along with everyone else.  

Since you raised the issue, it would be interesting to hear your reasoning for using an alias.

staefaboy1278 reads

I have noticed an inordinate amount of people using aliases to post on here. I have used one once or twice over the past many years as a joke or sarcasm that is relative to the thread.

I am curious as to why some people use them on a regular basis, or even at all. Are they ashamed of what they have written? Are they afraid of being chastised for saying what they think? Are they saying something that is mean to someone else? Are they concerned about retribution?

I'm not even certain as to the purpose of having aliases available. Sometimes I have wanted to respond to the writer privately, which is impossible if they use an alias. I guess if I post something on here I am willing to "own" it.

Before people start getting on me about this, I am asking out of curiosity. I am not criticizing anyone, nor asking anyone to stop.

Thoughts?

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Stormy999 reads

look me in the eye.  Masks are for Halloween and Mardi Gras.  Courage is a virtue that is difficult to uphold, but, oh, so attractive.  Scary, but risks are scary.  The reward is worth it.

Those are my thoughts.  Anyone else?

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oleoneeye927 reads

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ThreeCupsPlease1263 reads

I use an alias because I prefer to maintain anonymity.  There are a great number of people on here, none of whom are personally known to me.  The use of an alias helps me retain control over the nature and circumstances of the contact we have.  

I don't believe I have ever seen a post on here that appeared to carry the writer's real name.  On several occasions, I have been criticized for using an alias by another member who also appeared to be using an alias.  I assume that your name is not really "staefaboy," so it seems that we are both using an alias, along with everyone else.  

Since you raised the issue, it would be interesting to hear your reasoning for using an alias.

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Puck1050 reads

An alias, in the context of this board, is a false identity relative to ones registered board handle. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

Among other reasons, people use an alias so they can't be held accountable for trolling, irritating, baiting and generally acting the fool.

Right?

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50ish760 reads



-- Modified on 2/23/2011 12:09:01 PM

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Puck1404 reads

Board policy.

Related Link: http://tinyurl.com/AliasReasons

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ThreeCupsPlease864 reads

"Among other reasons, people use an alias so they can't be held accountable for trolling, irritating, baiting and generally acting the fool."

I'll have to take your word for it

I can't really comment on why other people do what they do, or what they know, or don't know, and I don't care to try.  This board has plenty of people who comment on topics that they know little or nothing about, and they don't need my help.  

I try to limit my comments to why I do what I do, or my personal experiences.  Presumably, these are the topics I'm most familiar with.  I'll leave the rest to others.

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thruster2784 reads

...in these post-literate days, one has to be a pedant to tag another one.

Posted By: Puck
An alias, in the context of this board, is a false identity relative to ones registered board handle. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

Among other reasons, people use an alias so they can't be held accountable for trolling, irritating, baiting and generally acting the fool.

Right?

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vorlon1315 reads

Posted By: ThreeCupsPlease
I use an alias because I prefer to maintain anonymity.  There are a great number of people on here, none of whom are personally known to me.  The use of an alias helps me retain control over the nature and circumstances of the contact we have.  

I don't believe I have ever seen a post on here that appeared to carry the writer's real name.  On several occasions, I have been criticized for using an alias by another member who also appeared to be using an alias.  I assume that your name is not really "staefaboy," so it seems that we are both using an alias, along with everyone else.  

Since you raised the issue, it would be interesting to hear your reasoning for using an alias.
So, how does using an alias preserve your anonymity?  As you pointed out, your TER handle would also be an alias and you've often said how you refuse to be screened so I doubt you have offered your real handle to anyone.

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PedanticAlias2346 reads

Google your handle, you'll see what I mean.

But...I soon found that using an alias was a lot of fun. Admittedly I also use them to stir up shit, parody others, but mainly for the laughs. I don't want a reputation as being a meanie or a comedian so I use them often.

PS: Thanks for the new alias Puck.

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Puck927 reads

Kudos

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belindabell1896 reads

I use an alias on occasion.  Sometimes, MY opinion on a subject is not always the popular opinion.  And, if I posted under my real handle, I take a huge risk of being chastised (on the board and via PM and email) and thought less of as a person because I do not hold the popular opinion.  It happened too frequently BEFORE I used aliases.  On those occassions, I found myself wondering why my opinion and view was any less important than the next persons opinion.  As an example,  on one such occasion,  I posted my thought and a short while later, a popular hobbyist on this board posted the same thought only worded differently.  His post was looked at as though GOD himself had spoken.  My post, which went up first, was looked at as idiocy and basically, I was told via PM AND EMAIL that I knew not what I was talking about.    Why?  Because I am a provider and he is a hobbyist?   I hold no ill will toward any of those involved but am left wondering, why can we not all have an opinion, be free to post that opinion, and whether others agree with that opinion or not....why oh why can't the value in free speech and free thought be valued here?  I do not wish to hear that old argument about it being a discussion board and to expect it since we are not face to face...blah-blah-blah.  I do not buy into that argument.   There is no rule that says we should not have respect for and be decent to others when online.  

The MN board has gotten a reputation, that spreads all across the US, of being mean, nasty, angry and bitterness towards hobbyists and providers alike, filled with post after post after post of drama. Why? When I say to them..."we are MN nice".  They laugh at me.  They think nothing could be further from the truth.   What happened to being respectful of other people?   Just because we disagree with someone does not mean we have to tear them apart and humiliate them.   A person should not fear the repercussions of posting on this board just because they do not hold the "popular opinion".    Some of you may think I am living in la-la land if I think we can have a peaceful coexistence here.  I beg to differ.  

The MN board that I found and fell in lust with when I first began providing in April, 2008 is not the same board that is here today.  Go back to 2008 and read a few threads from those days.  You will see that what I say is true.  They are kinder, gentler, helpful, and more respectful posts...even when the posters did not agree with each other.   It was a calm and peaceful place, really, where I could go and find people like myself----providers and hobbyists interested in one thing.......sex and all things sexual.   Today's MN TER board is not like that.  

This is, IMHO, why so many aliases have appeared.  They have appeared out of a need to protect oneself from the haters who reside here.    And, yes, sometimes, they are the haters themselves.  It is a pity really.  

the lovely and opinionated,
Beguiling One.

P.S.  I still enjoy MOST of the personalities here and there are some good and useful posts so I stick around.   I take what is useful and store it in my memory and try to forget the rest.

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diggstrenches06853 reads

Well said Belinda!!  Finally,  someone tells it the way it is.

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hardyharhar899 reads

Amen sister.

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sexxxysam754 reads

...anyone who knows me, knows I'm straight and to the point!  I see no reason most people need to fight and argue on here.  I USUALLY keep my mouth shut.  When I first joined, I didn't, nor did I care about speaking my mind on a conversation.  But you are so right about the boards not being the same!!  It all changed in 09!! SAD!!  People grow as we grow older, well, some of us, can't say that for everyone.  Even people I knew changed, and became worse, or would double book with someone that I was having lunch with or what not, I'd find that out, and of course would cancel.  I value my time, I value the time it takes me to get ready every day, I value my safety, and most importantly I value myself.   There's nothing more exciting than going on a date, but when it's not taken seriously, or I'm not treated like a human, well, then, I'd rather watch a movie or play with myself!!
Why can't this board be used by us "adults" in a mature manor?  I understand outing people for NCNS, or robbery, or whatever, but guys, you have your own board, just like the girls do.  Or WRITE A REVIEW!!  sooner or later it will get approved!!  Patience is what MN is lacking, therefore in return sending the respectful GFE's to other places, allowing the pimped out children and upsellers to gain control of the wonderful men around here, which changes the way they look at us!!  But they'll never stop because variety is the spice of life!!  I don't argue with that one bit, but it saddens me so when one of my good friends makes a date with someone, they treat him like garbage, take his well deserved play $ and throw him out the door, only to enjoy it with their pimp---who enjoys it with all his girlfriends---(you girls are so dumb by the way!!  If you only knew what being independent was like, you'd have a much more enjoyable life!)
Most of us former members of the greatest thing to ever happen to minnesota value our friends and like to make them happy.  I truly admit, I have the greatest group of friends to this day because of this hobby!!  And I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.  No amount of money can buy happiness!!  Short-term possibly, but those people really aren't happy unless they're in a really open relationship.  
Life is too short to stress, fret, bitch, complain, make a fool out of yourself!!  It's what you make out of it!  And guys, the alias's don't protect you from eventually somehow outting yourself, be it how you word your conversations, or who/what you say about someone.  All people have to do is a little research!  I found that out in Florida 2 years ago, I was drunk and was so irritated about whatever the topic was, and just went off, under an alias, and was outed the next day.  I said nothing to expose my identity, they figured it out some other way.  I'm not a tech savy person, nor do I ever care to be.  Just use common sense.  Keep the board fun!!  Say positive things about people.  Why make a thread a page long?  This moves our well deserved once a week ads pages and pages back.   Whatever floats your boat!

There are way more comments on here than I care to stress myself over!  I hardly even log on anymore!  I may go weeks without reading anything, then read a few posts, and maybe recognize who they're talking about, but ever since the change, guys have changed their handles, which in turn loses my interest in caring who they are now, why they changed, or what alias they may have created!  

We do need to bring back the MN nice, not the idiots who turned on 'us' with the wheelchair freak, but the true nice that the rest of the state is known for!!  
Wake up tomorrow and appreciate this hobby and this board for what it allows us to do!  otherwise create your own, go to Backpages or CL where there's alot of smack talking, but leave the professionalism to this board, or start acting like you are older then the minors that are providing in this city just waiting to bust you to save their pimp from going to jail, or their abuser from going to prision!!!  We're adults, we conduct business in that manor, MOST of us are educated enough to not harrass and intimidate others!!

I love you all, love this board, love the friends I've met, love my state, and SO GLAD to be back in it!!
Take care, play hard, often, and respectfully.   We ARE here to make your lives happier!  Just choose the right girls, or ask one you trust who would fit you well!!!  I'm never afraid to suggest and do so often!!  
XOXO
Sam
Sorry for any spelling errors, I'm not worried about how I type today, I'm not used to using my computer!  Such big buttons!  lol
(sorry for the long rant!  I've had a few emails lately that are extremely off the charts, and well, I hope you guys are reading this!!  You know who you are!!)








-- Modified on 2/23/2011 2:43:15 PM

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oleoneeye853 reads

Just my opinion.  While the TER policy on alias basically places no practical restriction on their use, many of the reasons the policy mentions are legitimate.  However, I believe it has become the norm for those hobbyists who which to maintain separate persona's on an ongoing basis - essentially having multiple TER identities as apposed to any other purpose.  If a hobbyist wishes to have access to providers its a pretty good idea to maintain a persona of a gentleman who appreciates them as human beings and not as objects of servitude.  Ladies will screen hobbyists by searching their TER member name and judge them based on the reviews they have written and their attitude on the boards.  But, as has become obvious, some of these hobbyists harbor disdainful views of providers, consider them a necessary evil, and some I would guess are total misogynists.  

Pretty much the same reason that members of the KKK wear the white sheets.  Considering that a TER member name by itself is anonymous, the excuse that an alias is necessary to maintain anonymity is kinda ridiculous.  Its cowardly and in my opinion has been abused to the point of sometimes provoking adversarial and confrontational exchanges.  TER would benefit from discontinuing the alias policy.

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inquiring.mind893 reads

If I want to see a woman I will give her my TER handle which she can use to look at the whitelists I have accumulated and read the reviews I have written.  I will give her my P411 ID which she can use to check my provider okays and contact the providers who have given them.  And I will give her contact information for the ladies who have kindly agreed to give me a good reference.  To suggest the lady also needs to connect my discussion board posts with my TER ID in order to make an informed decision is disingenuous.  

When MFP cratered in 2009 the OP changed his TER handle.  So, if I'm not mistaken, did you, oneeye.  Was that cowardly?  Or an exercise of judgement?  I was a member of MFP.  I didn't change my TER handle.  All of my reviews appear under the original TER handle which I still use for reviews.  I did start using an alias for ninety-nine percent of my board posts because I believe it makes it just a bit harder if anyone is trying to connect the dots.  One single alias, the only one I have ever used.  Was that cowardly or an exercise of judgement?  Just because you made a different judgement call does not, in my view, give you a right to start name calling.  

Puck clearly disdains people who use aliases.  He doesn't believe anyone uses them for reasons other than making mischief or cracking jokes.  He's the Mod.  He's entitled to his opinion, even if his stated opinions will strongly influence the direction the Board will take.  He also acknowledges that Board policy allows aliases, though, and doesn't normally take shots unless someone posts an invitation like the OP.  I'm hard pressed to understand why the OP felt it necessary to open up this old topic yet again, unless he is hoping to shame everyone into doing things the way he wants them done.  Sorry guy, you missed.  

The answer to abusive use of aliases is simple, and is already in the Board policy.  If someone consistently abuses his alias, flip him.  Course, that's more work for Puck who is already doing a lot.  But if you don't like the Board policy, don't whine about it in the Minnesota Discussion Board, take your case to the Suggestion and Policy Board and see if you can get it changed.  Until that happens, I'll use my one single alias when I am motivated to post.

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sexxxysam1240 reads

Like Like!!
Oh, and I did google my handle, glad there's a pervert teen lover and some weird chick with black hair that like my name!  But....the first mention of TER was my superbly awesome scrub and flake post.  Loved reading it over again.  One persons 'trash' is another persons 'treasure'!  Personally i like diamonds!!  ;);)
I'm also not saying I'm against alias', I just think that most people on here don't really have the (pardon my country french) balls to say alot for themselves and stand behind it!  I love the alias' that have the name made into it!!   Or like you said, one or maybe 2 to shill or speak about something maybe you don't want your ATF or hobby friends to know about.
This, I'm certain, will become a long thread!  You all have a lot to say, voice your opinions!  It is interesting to read, just not when you're trying to bad mouth an innocent person because that person doesn't connect with you, or you've offended such person, or whatever floats your boat.  If you have facts, state them, let the person justify their thoughts/actions, and take it from there, or there is such a thing as email, like the way you probably initiated contact, but who am I to suggest the obvious.  Free speech people, but when it gets carried away and way out of context, there's a time and a place for it, and frankly, this is just a place for us all to be in our fantasy world, create our characters, and live happily ever after.  If you're not happy, state so, and move on to the next girl, or give her a bad review.  


From now on, I'd love to make mini reviews of the guys that I see and do or don't connect with!!  For example, no names, I woke up this morning, put on my brand new sexy ass thigh highs, a sexy pair of lace panties, a satin robe, blasted the best old school Rock n Roll, and had the most fantastic, beyond needed, shaking the bed kind of date this morning, so much so that we even had time for seconds, and some amazing conversation while we were both catching our breath, and then I went for a fantastic walk, drank an awesome coffee, still have a smile on my face, and wow, can't wait to see him again!!!
Does it matter who it is?  Do you really want to hear?  I could go into so many details, but then what fun would that be?  I love my fantasy life, and I appreciate those that don't like me because we didn't mesh, or we don't have anything in common, or when I say I'm tall, and they don't think I am really 5'10 w/out heels, then walk in the door and see that I'm a giant, I would love to hear it!  If i am accused of doing something or acting in a way that I know and others know that I have not done, then, I will stand up for myself, yet I don't.  I take it with stride, and try to be more open and honest with the next friend!  
I love my fantasies, and I like to find those I can connect with.  I truly appoligize if we don't, but does it make sense to talk a bunch of smack about me because our schedules don't line up, or I walk funny, or I have a third eye, or I'm a raging bitch with a pimp who greets you in the hallway?  The latter I'd love to be notified of, but really, swallow it up to circumstance and move on.  I know I'm not the only one that gets irritated hearing about how so and so double booked, after i drove X miles, X hours, X states, etc.   If you do your research and read reviews, you'd see that you weren't the first person that happened too, or if you'd search the board, you'd probably see numerous threads stating just that!

Anyways, seriously I am done on the topic of this thread.  I hope that I haven't pissed anyone off, it was never my intention, I really miss the comfort of the other group, more and more each day, and today more so than any!!

To each their own, I don't judge, nor want to be judged, however I do have viewpoints!  If i've gotten carried away on the topic, pm me and I'll have it removed, but without an alias, this is my opinion today!!

Now, time to call it a night and have super sexy dreams of my morning!!!

Muah TER

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staefaboys_alter_ego1070 reads

Sam,the world needs more like you - and I'm NOT sucking up! I KNEW this was a provocative subject when I posted it - I do like to stir in the shit. I just became disenchanted with all of the pissing and moaning going on on this board. Not the legitimate stuff wherein factual information is shared for the benefit of others, it's the angry attacks, uninformed statements, people surmising what is/has gone on without even trying to find out.

Last week I posted about an experience I had with a provider. I stated the facts - obviously from my perspective, but as objectively as was possible. I asked for feedback as to whether there was something I might have done differently so as to avoid a similar outcome in the future. I had NO idea that it would turn into people accusing me of lying, coming up with their own twisted scenarios, and even some personal attacks.

I, too, miss the "old days" wherein we were a group of friends that could be trusted and there were higher standards that we all tried to (and were expected to) adhere to. If someone stepped over the line, male or female, they were either talked to or ousted entirely - depending upon their transgression. Oh well, I also miss $1 per gallon gasoline and being able to eat all I wanted without gaining weight!

Sam, you're a class act. I know there are many like you out there, but they are becoming fewer and further between. It is my wish that this thread will make people think a little bit about how they choose to live their lives and treat others - maybe not live in fear of retribution for saying what they think in a responsible fashion.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose."

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oleoneeye952 reads

Yes, I changed my TER handle coincidentally with the MFP meltdown.  Simply because there were a few involved that had the means to connect my TER handle to my actual identity.  I think that is quite different from connecting a TER handle to an alias.  

A persistent use of an alias rather than that of your actual TER handle, in my opinion, is contrary to the spirit of the TER policy and certainly limits the ability to connect with other hobbyist with PM's.  For example you chose to make this personal and I would have preferred to have a personal debate about it with you offline.  My post was stated in general terms and not pointed to anyone in particular.

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inquiring.mind752 reads

I was in precisely the same boat as you in 2009.  You decided to erase your handle entirely.  I thought it was more 'honest' to leave my reviews up under my handle but minimize its appearances on the discussion boards.  You think that's quite different.  I think we were both acting to protect ourselves as we thought best at the time and I believe to this day that both strategies had strengths and weaknesses.  

You would prefer I had responded to your post by PM, thereby leaving your statements unremarked and unrebutted in the public discussion board.  I think that would have been contrary to the spirit of the discussion boards.  Backchannel has its place and I use it with those who know me.  This ain't it.  

One final note, tossing around words like cowardly and likening alias users to scum-of-the-earth Ku Klux Klanners is nothing ... nothing ... if not personal.  That you tarred with a broad brush rather than a specific focus is irrelevant.

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oleoneeye1725 reads

You seem predisposed to taking things out of context and misinterpreting things to suit your arguments. The point I was making, although perhaps not clear enough for you, is that had you used your non-alias id, I could have addressed your post privately.  My posting gives you that option - yours does not.    

My original post referred to some, not all aliases.  And you know of which types I am referring to and we all recognize the difference when they occur.   There are two general reasons people wear a mask - for fun and intrigue or to avoid recognition.  Its the latter case where the purpose is to attack a provider or fellow hobbyist that I am very tired of.  

-- Modified on 2/24/2011 7:18:09 AM

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One More Thought1085 reads

Because over the years too many ladies have learned my real handle
and give me a hard time if I don't shill for them when giving honest
complements to others. I am always nice and polite and honest
on the board and just don't want to be hassled.

There are some who abuse through aliases and there are some
who use them responsibly. Don't assume that just because someone
uses an alias that they aren't being honest and sincere in what they
have to say.

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