would you feel better if we said she flaked?

that you don't get? They agreed on a time.
It's not a miscommunication either. She didn't communicate the final location. It's a NCNS.

NCNS= no call/no show  NC= no call Hope that helps you.

Earlier this week exchanged texts and arranged to meet at her incall in a NW suburb at 4pm.  

Text thread went something like:

Me: 11:30am you available at 4pm today?
Lauren: 11:40am Yes
Me: 11:45am Okay, lets book it
Lauren: 11:50am Okay
Me: 3:45 getting close, please give additional location info
Lauren: ... no response
Me: 3:55 I'm in [city]
Lauren: ... no response
Me: 4:10 I'm in [city]
**Gave up and left at 4:25 after more silence**
Lauren: 4:30 Okay

It almost felt like she was fuckin with me... particularly with the final "Okay" 30 minutes after the scheduled time.  Too bad, I was looking forward to meeting her... oh well, saved me some $$$.



-- Modified on 9/2/2011 7:40:43 AM

I don't think that's really a ncns.
She only said okay and nothing else. That doesn't really mean yes you have an appointment.

Here's why

You waited until 3hrs later almost 15 minutes to the requested time to contact her again, she could of not been available anymore either that or your earlier texts didn't get through (this happens to me a lot) .
Is why calling is best.

A ncns is when you actually get location and they're no where to be found.

I see it as a ncns.

Unless there is something the OP omitted from his posting, it was a ncns.  He had seen her before.  Otherwise, how would he have known which city to go to?  So, he saw her before, texted her and was clearly given the green light to be at (city) at 4:00.  Some more messages would've been good, but many providers only text the basics, for many reasons including that they frequently use a separate provider phone which is usually a throwback phone that is difficult to text with.

How could an "okay" after an "Okay, lets book it" be understood in any other way except for "Yes, we're on"?

I'm still a relative newbie, so please enlighten.

thanks.

og

Text messaging has proven to be flawed time after time. I have it blocked on my phone. (Weeds out the time wasters) Some phones will notify you when a TM fails, but I have learned that that is not always the case. Particularly w/ cheap hobby phones. If you want clear & concise communication that leaves no back doors ajar, try talking to each other.

If she had said yes we're on for x time at x location then its confirmed.
Just okay doesn't mean anything beyond " okay "

She didn't give location (he noted that he still needed additional info
as to where she exactly is, Therefore its NOT a ncns. Its a miscommunication . Common with texts, live convo is best.

I feel the same with emails too.

The whole "monica" crew double books all of the time and I have been NCNS from them before as well.  I think its the young thing.

This is NCNS. Symantics don't come into play here.

In general, when a guy says 4:00 pm, it means 3:55 to 4:00.  When a woman says 4:00 pm, it means 4'ish but more likely 4:30 or so, maybe 5:00, maybe I'll call you with a new time.

When a client hears 4:00 pm, it means 4:00 pm.  When a provider (let's agree, a POOR provider) says 4:00 pm, she means "if I don't forget, don't double book to see who shows up first, don't blow you off for a better deal, don't extend my current session, don't fall asleep or worse, don't like your references and don't feel like giving you the courtesy of a call, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc,etc."

Yes, bch9427 should have checked in via text before leaving at 2:00 or so just to confirm with plenty of time in case she's in session, but in my world this is still a definite NSNC. She knows he's driving some distance based on their earlier call and it shows complete disrespect and contempt to not even text "Hey, I can't make it. Sorry." Our time is valuable and wasting it is not taken lightly.

It was weak, bit okay means the same as "yes", "i agree", yeah", "okey dokey" or any other form of the affirmative, and I think any person with half a brain would see it that way.   Now, would I have felt confident with that response? probably not because I can sense a ncns in the making from experience and would have texted back something like "so its for sure babe?".  Just because he is a newbie doesn't excuse her.  

No location given, as noted twice he needed additional info as to where to go.
Ncns is when you have address, they aren't there.  Very simple.
That's like when someone sends me an email asking if I'm available and I say yes I am
then they get mad at me for not responding any further.

Just saying "ok " is too open ended of an answer.

He should of called and talked to her.

On my end I call it a ncns if they get all the info needed as in the exact location and they just don't show up.
How can she ncns if he didn't know where she was exactly?
Simple and very common mishap.

Not sure if you're aware of this, but some providers won't give you the name of the hotel until just before your appointment - just the general location (i.e. city).

You are wrong and everyone else on this thread is right. Don't you see that?

You can continue to back peddle, but maybe you should read and learn something.

Alantra,

Good to see you call it like it is.  While the swarm of other providers are ready to defend her as some type of miscommunication, you call it like it is.  A clear ncns.  It was obvious to me and some other veteran hobbyists.  When the OP came forward with more details, it should be obvious to everyone.  It's good to see a provider showing the respect and good sense to call it like it is.  

On another note, $$$ for her?  Yes, she's cute as hell.  However, very limited menu.  Absolutely no GFE.  She is a $$ provider.  For $$$ there are beautiful GFE providers out there, especially recently with some incredible travelers who are reliable and stay in nice hotels.

-- Modified on 9/2/2011 1:23:18 PM

Call it what you want.  She flaked out on him.  If you reread the OP, an approximate location, eg. NW Suburb, was understood.    I have had lots of appts with ladies ahead of time where the specific location was uncertain and you were to find out when you called about 30 min in advance.  Its common practice NOT to get the specific location ahead of time.  If there was a problem getting a room or whatever, she at least owed him a message telling him she had to cancel or postpone.  

Well we now understand your definition.  I think by now you should understand what 99% of the hobbyist community regards a ncns.  A date, time, approximate location was understood, acknowledged, and then no communication at the time agreed upon.  She had the opportunity to tell him there was a misunderstanding or whatever when he texted for the location.  

And regarding a phone discussion instead of texting?  I have met lots of ladies who prefer to text and where I have had less trouble communication by text vs call.  Its seems to be the preferred method with people under the age of 30 these days.

If you are referring to me as one of the providers defending the lady in question, you are dead wrong! At the very least she is guilty of neglecting to communicate professionally. No more responsible than a NCNS (IMHO) I was merely trying to offer a possible solution to avoid this situation in the future. It's called "dotting the I's & crossing the T's. The provider won't be able to come back w/ "I'm sorry. Didn't you get the text that said this time won't work after all." Get the picture?

First of all, I disagree with you indicating here, and in your earlier post, that live phone calls are most clear and concise.  Texting is written.  It is there and can't be changed.  I have had numerous flaked out providers indicate to me that "I'm sorry, I thought that was yesterday, etc. or you said blah, blah" after phone communication.  I almost always don't believe them.  They simply flaked out, got a better deal, or something changed and they didn't tell me.  One exception to that was a new but well-reviewed provider who didn't answer the phone when I got there.  I was upset, but then she called back in an hour apologizing profusely.  What had happened is that another hobbyist with my same name had came and she didn't realize we were two different guys.  She offered me an extended session if I would come back the next day.  I did and had one of the best sessions I have ever had in ten years of hobbying.

Anyways, in her ad she says three times that texting is okay.  She even writes "please text" after her phone number!  It was absolutely reasonable for him to use text exclusively for the details for the appointment.

You had an agreed upon time and approximate location.  As others have pointed out, the exact location is often not given out until you are almost there and that is when she did not answer.  My call is this is entirely on her.

Keep talking MsDynamite, no one is buying your excuses for her. You two must be best friends. If you were male we'd call you a White Knight.

What I do not understand is why you, MsDynamite, are defending Lauren?   If she has a side to tell, she can come here and tell it.   We all know things happen but there is absolutely no reason that Lauren could not explain in a text.  Since she loves texting so much, she should use it when something comes up!

And for some providers that is because they don't even book a room until just beforehand.  Which is the likely MO here, in my experience with someone close to this gal.  

I would call it a NCNS.

But I really think we need to give newbies and younger gals a bit of a break sometimes.  If they do it routinely then yea slap a label on them as unreliable I guess.  

People have lots of reasons that a time can't work out on both sides of this arrangement.  Those of us that have been doing it awhile would probably all try our best to make it on time or notify early if we are running into a problem.  Think back to when we were in our late teens or early 20's......

One thing I would say is a good idea anyway--but especially with younger gals it seems--if you are in an area where it's possible, always have a backup plan if it's that important to you.  

Just my 2 cents....

Well then you should of done that from the start.
Btw if you don't have an EXACT incall location but they gave you JUST A CITY OR GENERAL AREA  as you say they did. (I'm saying this because you did not and still haven't specified that you had an exact room# or anything else making it a solid booking just an agreement on an arrival time .)
She then just blew your agreed time request off = flaked.

that's just as bad but, its still not really a ncns.

A NCNS IS WHEN THEY GIVE YOU THE EXACT LOCATION
meaning you have hotel, suite # AND THEY DONT ANSWER THE DOOR OR SHOW UP WHATSOEVER.
HENCE NO CALL NO SHOW. emphasis on the word show .
I've bee around a long time too...
You could of gotten a plan B I'm that half hr you waited to be forgotten jes sayin.
I'm growing tired by what some people consider a ncns around here.
Especially those that ask vague questions I;e are you available? Do you have a 4pm.Wednesday afternoon?
then cry foul because they got lost in the shuffle.

Here's an example email I've gotten (not sayin I'm like her but you need to understand what ime saying here)

Mrxxx:
Hey V, its Mr xxx I've seen you a few times about 8 years ago now im back in town and  I was wondering if you're available? . (They didn't say anything else to me)

Me: hello there mr xxx, why yes I am. What time & day would you like?

Mr xxx 5 pm.
Me: what day?
Mr xxx: Tuesday, oh and what area of town are you in now?
Me : ok Tuesday works, I am in the downtown area nowadays.
You can Confirm ypur appointment at 430 pm .
Thank you Mr xxx, please let me know if you need anything else from me.
Have a great weekend! Xo V.
....Tuesday & 5pm rolls on by and NO MR XXX nothing, nada until 6 pm :
A lovely email titled NCNS!?
you fucking stood me up! Blah blah blah 4 paragraphs of profanities and
how punctuality is important, yelled at me in all caps mind you.
He then calls me 100 times until I block his phone .
Now I ask
How the heck did I NCNS?  He had no address to go to for me to ncns.
I booked 2 in his place at 515 when I hadn't heard from him by 430.
See?

I never said she was right to do that.  She flaked, flaking out is just as bad.
However some people around here have vague perception of what a ncns actually means.
She just didn't call him back or acknowledge him.  Equally as rude. But at least he didn't have to sit at her incall waiting and waiting.

Notice I didn't say nor ever will it was ok whatsoever. In fact I think its just as bad.
I said its still not really a ncns just because of the fact she didn't give him the exact location of her incall and he wasn't there waiting on her, he could of easily gotten a plan B in that time he spent waiting for a response.

She simply flaked out on him after getting his hopes up. That is all.

The provider in question could of at least explained herself and/or offered an incentive for him to return at the very least for flaking out. I agree.
If I accidentally screw up a requested time that's confirmed,
a discount or extra bonus is my first offering for apologies for the mishap.

I agree with you--but try as I might some gals just insist on texting and only texting.

WTF are you talking about?  We did have a scheduled appointment, she just wanted to wait to give me the exact location until just prior to our time.  I was sitting at a location waiting and waiting.

Me having a plan B is irrelevant.  Your focusing on how you think the term ncns should be applied is getting weird.

You must be a riot at parties...

V is smarter than anyone else - at least that's what she says.

u r nuts.

If you waited and she didn't get back to you while you wereat the agreed location. In my book it was ncns. Thats just me though.

I cant recall a single incident of a ncns where the guy actually got a room number. after all the last thing the provider would want is some guy knocking on her door while with the guy she double booked.

Msdynamite just doesnt get it!

I want to know so I never try to see her, ever.

Roses are red...

MsDynamite is no more an alias than breadmaker is.