21 Clues a woman should call it a night:

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and
wiggling my butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the
sexiest dance move around. (Now you all know we've
done this one!)

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass
and honestly believe I could do it too.

4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more
like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four
hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor (which I'm
eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick
it up and carry on eating it.

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I
love them sooooo much.

7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to
start work.

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek
sitting next to me.

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade
teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand
on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely
overwhelming.

11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on
their own so I keep them half closed and think it
looks exotically sexy.

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really
good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me
by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I
can no longer taste the gin.

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely
like the kitchen or bathroom floor.

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T
take this the WRONG WAY but..."

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I
sit on it.

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedown
moves.

18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I
happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly
pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away
from my drink.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their
fault that I'm having problems walking straight.

21. I start believing that everyone in the room wants
to see my boobs.