You have a great looking gal that is well reviewed and she either has bad breath, and/or a cooch that smells like something that you do not want to go near.
Should you tell her and risk pissing her off and getting DNS'd and have a pissed off provider, or shut up and just not enjoy the time and pay the donation.
I have be very dismayed three or four times by gals that were highly reviewed and were not to the level I had expected.
I don't do many reveiws, maybe one in ten. I have not read many that said Bad Breath, stinky cooch or smelled like butt down there.
Before any appointment I shower, shave, brush my teeth, floss, and gargle just before I meet. It would not be fair to them not to. Hell, I even bring a toothbrush to an incall, when I have just left my hotel room minutes before.
Some will say tell them, but I fear a bad scene or hurt feelings.
You should leave immediateley (no donation) if she does not present herself how you think she should. This includes fake or old photos, time of month, smokey breath, stinky pussy, and let's not forget a bitchy attitude.
Likewise, us hobbyists should be required to present themselves clean and gentlemenly. It is a two way street.
Remember, it is your money and don't settle for anything less. We work too hard for it.
Carry breath mints or candy like Werthers Original, and offer one up if there is bad breath present.
With body odors (anywhere), offer to take a shower with her.
You don't necessarily have to tell her about the problem, just offer the solution.
b-
I have had this experience more than once and since then I make sure that I tell the provider that I am VERY picky about my personal hygene and that I will be fresh from the shower hoping that will let them know that I expect that from them.
The best way to handle it is this:
1. You can tell her that the "chemistry isn't right" and politely back out. Depending on who she is, she might want some $ for her time spent, although not the entire donation. Or, she might just let you go, off the hook, trouble-free.
2. If it's a fixable problem like bad breath, I think she would definitely want to be kindly informed of the issue. Obviously other hygiene issues are not so easily fixable.
I think it's best to bring it to her attention, rather than trashing her in a review, so she has a chance to fix it.
It takes a gutsy, brave, kind person to "gently point out a person's flaws."
I agree with lady Asian...yes for once I actually agree with the Big City gal!
First of all, to me smell is extremly powerful sense when you are with someone - To me, there is nothing worst then bad breath on either side or not showering before hand. It really takes away from the experience.
I don't think trashing someone in a review is helpful, because as stated it is a fixable issue.
The last point and the most difficult part is telling someone directly that they smell or have bad breath. Been in management most of my life and have dealt with these situations a few times and it is extremely hard, trying to focus on the issue not the person - while not trying to crush that person. I would suggest that BOTH sides owe it to each other and if you can't say it directly to the person, then either after the fact send an e-mail or call them later to explain why you backed out? My four cents...and guess what, an actual response with no jokes!!
Two things...ok one time I had a gentleman who didn't like the smell of the toothpaste I used...he kindly offered the kind he liked and I obliged, no hurt feelings or offense. Odd, but you are correct smell sensitivities can be a big deal. On the other side of the spectrum what do you suggest a provider do in the same situation? I typically request all gents shower and wash hands..and many flat out refuse. I even had one shower and came out smelling as though he bathed in a kitty box or used feces for soap and he's expecting gfe etc. I had another literally leave me going away presents on my sheets...you can guess what it was. Now for those of you who say send a gal away...do you advise we do the same and still expect being paid. How does a lady tell a guy he needs toilet training etc and remain a lady and expect a sensual erotic time after this issue?
Great question, and my response is this: it is all about respecting each other and it is a two way street, that is why in my posting I put BOTH (provider or hobbyist).
You should get a purple heart for trying to tough out a session where someone smells bad.
It is your business so to speak, but I say send the guy away; also...tell him to his face, send him an e-mail and phone him afterwards why you did it.
It would be up to you on the refund portion, but maybe you give him back all the money or most of it to keep it from becoming a "scene". If someone can't respect you enough to come in clean it is not your problem it is his.
If you are going to provide a true GFE experience should the guy not do the same. Think back to a girlfriend/boyfriend experience? When you were with someone the first time you would always be bathed correctly, good breath and all those other things to make it a great experience or first impression, why not do the same here?
To me it is all about the experience, not just the sex. My top two senses are at work smell and taste, while vision is right behind the others...
Plus don't we owe it to other ladies and gents to know this? It is a lot harder to say this face to face when you get right down to it!
I would not want to be with a gal that had been "fucking pigs" before me. If a guy is dirty he should be told and sent away. There are some guys I bet who are married that cannot get it at home for the same dirty reasons. They wont clean up and they think because they are making a donation that they can be a pig with a provider. No woman would want to go down on someone who stinks so the wife just gives up on it. I feel sorry for any provider who has to put up with this. When the connection is made they need to tell the gent that here are the rules. This is true for busted up teeth, brown teeth, greasy hair etc. YUK
Guys if your a pig, stay home and whack off to the internet where the gals cannot smell you.
I am very surprised at the actions of some men. Most men what the ladies to have a good experience and not leave them with a foul experience. I guess both men and women should be told about their short comings in a nice way
If he won't clean up properly you are under no obligation to go through with seeing him. I don't know why someone wouldn't do that; my practice is to shower just before leaving for the appointment. As far as the fee goes, well you are certainly entitled to something seeing as you are blameless in the matter.
a Pig in a Poke?
Think to yourself, that you would want the other person to tell you gently, if the shoe was on the other foot.
Also, you can always cheerfully say, "Did you eat just eat lunch? I can taste it a little bit! Here; have a piece of gum!"
And if they stink like butt do you give em some toilet paper!!
Out of all of the clients I've met with, only a small minority of them had arresting hygiene problems.
However, people on TER talk about these "stinky clients" more often than I've ever had to deal with them, in person. Isn't that funny?
I have my own gentle way of prompting them to clean up... I do not really want to go into it here, but I have my methods and they work!
Obviously, if the problems are not easily fixable (or easy to fix in a subtle, polite manner), the quality of the date would not be as good because I cannot get close to someone, if they have odors wafting off their body. And, I cannot give that person a reference.
However, like I mentioned, "smelly clients" happen so infrequently! I have not done the exact math, but I would guess that less than 1% of my clients has offensive lack-of-hygiene.
I do have a "good hygiene" disclaimer on my website, but these are some tips I want to share here, for the benefit of everyone here, provider and client alike:
1. Everyone should clean their ass (hole and crack) with a baby wipe before the appointment. Do not count on toilet paper alone to be sufficient.
2. If you are receiving anal play, give yourself an enema. They cost under $3 at the drug store.
3. Wash your genitals with non-irritating soap. Use a baby wipe, if necessary to eliminate excess sweat (and smegma) that might collect in your private area. Always clean this area before going on a date.
4. Wash your hands with antibacterial products. Clip your nails. Make sure there is no dirt under your fingernails.
5. Wash your whole body with non-irritating soap.
6. Use deodorant in your armpits.
7. Brush your teeth regularly. Do not brush your teeth too much before a date because it can irritate your gums, causing them to bleed. Same goes for flossing. Brush your tonuge to get rid of bad breath. Use mouthwash before, during, and after the date. Use mints or gum before, during, and after your date.
8. A lot of people are alleric to perfume, so do not use your favorite scent, until you are sure your date wants you to.
9. Q*tip inside your ears.
10. Do not show up for a date with anything that looks "scary" or "diseased" on your crotch area, at all. It doesn't matter, if you just accidentally zipped your dick up in your pants zipper and now there is a tiny scab. Anything "sick-looking" will immediately freak your date out. Wait until you look 100% healthy.
One more thing, if you are sweaty, at all, take a shower when you meet with your date.
Another thing, do not sweat all over your date. If you are a sweaty guy, turn the air-conditioning down more. Or, stay in a reclined position during the date. Nobody likes it when buckets of sweat is being poured on them.
Last thing, if you are uncircumsized, expect that CBJ probably will happen.
I agree with all of your suggestions. May I add one for the ladies. Not altogether about hygene but if you shave your cooch please have it freshly shaved before a date. Stuble is quite a turn off. Speaking for myself anyway
started by some pissed off guy who either got the boot or was reprimanded for taking a dump in the gals hotel bathroom as soon as he got into the room...and he was furious about it and playing the victim.
If I remember correctly, he took a lot of heat from some very unsympathetic hobbyists.
Personally, I always request a shower in advance and when possible, try to coax the lady in as a quick way to break the ice. It's great fun and I can be assured the last great review that blew "all over her tata's" had been soaped away from the scene.
Sorry I have to mention it here but it happens ALL the time.
I remember one of my 1st NV Brothel visits was in Winnemucca. I showered at the motel before I hit the brothel. My courtesan gave me a hug & said "you can't be a trucker, you smell too good. We're gonna have a goooood time." She didn't lie. She seemed really stoked.
I wasn't dressed in a tux or anything, I just didn't smell like 12 hours of bad road. A rather simple thing but I never forgot that.
-- Modified on 1/28/2010 1:54:38 PM